Thursday, February 28, 2008

Ah, the Days of Funky

I wanted to thank Thor for awarding me the funky blog award. I try my best to maintain my overall funkiness.

I remember the good ol days back when I was a young pup, touring with George Clinton, Bootsy Collins and P-Funk. HOOO, were those the zany days of fun! I still have the goldfish high heels that Bootsy gave me during a drunken stupor. I ate the fish, but the boots are pretty cool and fun to chew on.

I want to award the following the "funky blog award" (and as usual, in my laziness, I'm not telling them... I have claws to sharpen): Charlie (cuz he's had a ruff time of it, and he is funky), Ayatollah Mugsy (just cuz he cracks me up), and Maverick the Pirate, just because.

Friday, February 22, 2008

At Least We Have Our Dreams

Honorary HULA award to Max

Yep, Max did his best to steal his master's truck, but those pesky gears and pedals and stuff thwarted his attempt.

Max was on a HULA mission to rob the local Petsmart of all tasty dog treats. We picked him because he had access to a pickup truck and his master is a bit too trusting with the keys.

We're sorry to say that the helicopter that Molly the squirrel promised to steal for us to deliver all of the goodies has crashed on take off. Molly is fine, but hanger and 14 airplanes didn't fare very well.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Too Busy to Blog

I’m sorry, but I’m much too busy playing in the small amount of snow to put any thought into blogging. I know that I probably won’t have much time before it all turns to mud, or freezing into an ice skating rink, so I have to go out and lay in it, eat it, play in it, smash the suckup mutatoe’s head in it while I can.

I’ll be back tomorrow when its all gone, but until then... I’m playing in the snow.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

7 Weird Things

Ok, Thor or Lita tagged me and I’m suppose to post 7 weird things about me.

Hmm, this is most difficult, as everything I do is well thought out, and with a purpose, but I suppose it may sound weird to all humans, and some dogs (huskies all know the ulterior motive behind our concepts, so there’s no reason to explain them).

Ok, lets see:

1.) Eating Kleenex - While some would think that eating kleenex was weird, especially used kleenex, it is actually part of the master plan to take over the world. First of all, without opposable thumbs it is impossible to wipe our delicate little po-pos after we poo. By eating kleenex we not only get the required fiber in our diets, but we also wipe ourselves from the inside out, making sure our intestinal tracts are squeeky clean. The eating of used kleenex stems from the alien invasion of 1938, which was broadcast on the radio. Although the humans cleverly covered up that attempted invasion by strange beings from outer space by saying it was just a radio program, it actually did happen, and the aliens were thwarted by the icky germs that the humans have and they had no immunity to. Well, by eating the used kleenex of the humans, we huskies are ensuring that the humans don’t try that stupid trick again where they contaminate our husky forces with human germs.

2.) Sitting on the human woman’s head - once again you may think that’s cute, charming, or endearing, but its all part of conditioning the human woman to get use to me sitting on her head and then one day... ok, I would never smother the human woman, but hey, look at the power I have. I could if I wanted to, but I know a good thing when I sit on it and frankly until we get dog manufacturers that stop putting tasty things in cans, we’ll need the humans and their thumbs to open or food.

Since I want to give the mutatoes some equal opportunity time (and since they are way more weird than I am) here are some weird things about the gimpies:

3.) Sam sits on everyone and everything. If its sitting on the floor, he’ll sit on it. If a human is sitting on the floor, he’ll sit on them. He also only poops on things like sticks or a leaf pile. He won’t poo unless there’s something to poo on.

4.) Loki loves to lay in leaf piles, but only after he pees on the leaf pile. He’s so disgusting.

5.) I refuse to have my back feet touched. Just don’t even try it, stop looking at them... stop it.

6.) Sam loves to rub against the shower curtain after the humans take their shower. Also, when the human man puts the gel stuff on his hair, Sam loves to rub himself on the human man’s head. I think he’s trying to get some of the gel so he can comb over that bald spot he has.

7.) The gimpy suck-up mutatoe gets all bent out of shape and cries when he can’t find the human woman, gets jealous if she pays attention to the rest of us, and throws tantrums if he can’t snuggle next to her. He’s such a weenie momma’s boy, I swear.

8.) (just because I couldn’t resist) Sam pees in mutatoe’s food bowl and laughs.

Now, in the spirit of tagging other people... if you are reading this, you’ve been tagged, because I’m lazy. I didn’t add that to my list because its not weird for me to be lazy. Being the queen of the world is tiring.


Friday, February 15, 2008

Sickly Human Man

The human man is sickly. Last night they came home and he went straight to bed and he moaned a lot, and coughed and mumbled and called out for the human woman to bring him things.

Today has been a lot of the same, lots of sleeping, pathetic moaning, complaining, coughing and the like. According to the human woman, human men get WAAAAY more sicker than human woman do. Apparently there is some kind of gene in the human men that when they get sick, they actually revert to 3 year old little boys incapable of fending for themselves and requiring someone (typically human women) to wait on them hand and foot and prepare them soups and give them pills.

This is a very strange phenomena, as I’ve seen the human woman pretty sick, I know she’s very sick because she barely makes any noise when I jump on her, and yet she still seems to get out of the bed and feed us and feed the human man and do stuff to clean around the house.

There are two obvious conclusions to this:

1.) Human men are wimps
2.) Human women never really get sick

I’m not quite sure what the truth is behind this, so I’ll have to do more studying. I may actually get some good data tonight, because after spending a whole lot of time cooking lasagna, the human man actually looked into the bowl and complained that the noodles might scratch his sore throat. I’m going to see if the human man will actually get out of the bed (in which case he’s not as sick as he says he is) or will he just lay there as the human woman is smothering him with a pillow (in which case he truly is sick and the lasagna will be very tasty when it falls from his dead hands onto the floor where we can enjoy it).


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

We get Ice

Blizzards all over the place, fluffy snow all around us, what do we get...


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Another Award

Charlie graciously awarded me the Thinking Blogger Award because I make him think. ThinkingBloggerAward.jpg

I'm glad that I make all dogs think, because I know that a lot of dogs just care about napping, playing, eating, and pooping.

Ok, I admit that these are very important things in life, napping and eating being right on the top of that pile, but we also need to realize that the humans are here on this earth to do our bidding. We control the humans, not the other way around.

The humans want us to think that they own and control us, but who goes out to work every day while we lay at home and nap? I don't see any dogs driving to the store to buy their food, oh no, we're at home licking ourselves while the humans waste their precious free time carting around bags of tastiness to the house.

Want a demonstration of your mighty power? Simply refuse to eat one day (yes I know its hard, but well worth it), lay around and refuse to play or wag your tail and watch your human totally freak out and try to entice you to play or eat tasty human foods. Oh yeah, we are mighty, we hold the power.

Ok, so there are some rules that go with this award (sigh)

The rules for the Thinking Award are...
1. You must write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Acknowledge this post.
3. Optional: Proudly display the Thinking Blogger Award with a link to the post that you wrote.
4. Go tell your humans to fork over the treats!
You should especially note item #4. Forking over treats is not optional.

Ok, blogs that make me think, hmmm.

Casper, Copper, Echo, Holly, and Team Husky

Now, being that I'm lazy, I'm not going to tell any of them of their award, as they should be reading my words of wisdom each and every day with rapt attention and will read that I have given them this award.

I am Meeshka, I am lazy.

Friday, February 08, 2008

My Head Poof

The gimpy suck-up mutatoe tooth bonked me a few days ago right on the top of my head. That hurt, so I slammed his head into the ground, chased him around the yard, slammed him into the ground again for good measure.

For the past few days, the human woman has been petting my head, finding the tooth bonk spot and picking at it. Good lord, can't she just let things heal on their own, she's always gotta pick at things.

Tonight I was just sitting there, minding my own business, looking very fluffy and regal and she attacked me because the tooth bonk had scabbed and there was a tuft of loose hair. She HAD to the pluck the hair, just HAD to... except it was still attached to my skin! The more she picked at it, the more fluff came out and pretty soon I was worried that I'd have this big bald spot on the top of my head and I'd look like Sammy and I'd have to go into business with him developing the Hair Club for Huskies or something stupid.

She finally picked it off, then she had to show it to the human man, who wasn't that impressed (he apparently has SOME sense). I figured she was going to frame it or put it in an album or something, but she actually did throw it away. I did get to sniff it though.


Saturday, February 02, 2008

Why Aren't There Any Oysters In These Crackers

The human man purchased these tasty treats called “Oyster Crackers”, except there are no oysters in them. I guess you could say that they look sorta like oysters, but he says that they are called that because they are made specifically to put into oyster soup. Humans are very strange.

Regardless of what they are called, those crackers are very tasty, much more tastier than regular crackers because they come in a round, bite sized treat shape. I really like those crackers and I am incredibly peeved that the human man ISN’T SHARING ANY WITH ME! I sit there, first looking very cute, but nothing. I fluff up a bit and put a paw lightly on the arm of his chair. Look at me, I’m so adorable. Nothing. I make the “I want noise” (as soon as the human woman figures out the proper format to use to upload to youtube, which should take her all of a million years, I will show you the “I want noise”) and yet, no crackers. I give up and go claw the human woman, who tells me to go claw the human man, as she is not keeping of the tasty crackers and has no control over them. If she truly loved me, she’d get me some crackers.