Wild Things

 It was non-stop action here at my house last week. What a week. What an exciting week!

I'm not even being sarcastic about it, it was a week!

Spring is here and there are exciting woodland creatures visiting! No, not just the boring bees that I'm not allowed to play with or eat, or the worms, that apparently I'm not supposed to roll in, but more fun things... squeaky toy things, like the baby bird!

Bleeder told me about fledgling season and apparently that's really a thing, unlike all of her other lies like "if you claw me one more time my arm will fall off". That's such an exaggeration because clearly all of those band-aids will keep that arm on your body.

To Bleeder gets home from work on Thursday and she takes me out for our usual after work play/claw/leap/eat things session and my after work poop. I poop, and Bleeder is all "hey, let's go inside and get a cookie". Well, who doesn't want a cookie, and although it's weird that she didn't play our usual throw 50 balls until I decide which one I'll chase game, I ran inside. She got me a cookie, then ran outside again and shut the door so I couldn't get out.

What the fluff is that all about.

APPARENTLY there was one of those fledgling things on the evil tunnel thing in the back yard. Just sitting there. Innocent, unable to fly... tasty. She called it a "blue jay", and baby blue jay's parents were NOT happy at all and proceeded to scream and attack Bleeder if she got near their baby. 

Bleeder (and Toast) are pushovers when it comes to animals, especially gimpy dogs, so she had to make a decision on where to "rehome" the baby jay. The general rule of all woodland creatures that trespass is they go over the fence. Typically they go over the fence at the gate area. There are no predators so they have a decent chance of going someplace else... NOT in the back yard.

She doubted she could grab it, then make a dash toward the front yard area without getting a blue jay beak to the face. To the right are the yappie dogs... nope. Directly behind is an in ground pool... nope. To the left is 3 dogs... nope. To the left rear is one tiny teacup yorkie that is afraid of everything. Yep.

So acting nonchalantly, Bleeder saunters up to the baby jay, snags it and makes a run to the left rear corner and flings it over the fence and into their bushes while angry Blue Jays swoop and scream.

The only thing I got to do was sniff and roll in the large amount of baby blue jay poop that was left from the adventure.

Friday rolls around and it's mowing day, which I'm not allowed outside during that stuff. Bleeder throws the tarp off the mower and unscrews the gas cap to put gas in and why looky there... a freshly fed juvenile rat snake is taking a nap on the lawnmower deck. 

She gently removed that with the pooper scooper, but it really wasn't in the mood for a ride, so it took a few scoops and attempts to gently fling it over the gate.

I did get to sniff the areas where it jumped out, got scooped up, and finally flung.

Fast forward to Saturday, and I did my usual Saturday squirrel stalk.

Then I mosied over to the other side of the back yard near the stupid blue jay poop covered vinyl tunnel thing and WHOA! What the heck is that long pull toy!

3-4 foot rat snake danger noodle or nope rope

Even better, this pull toy moves on it's own and OHMERGERD this pull toy just looked at me and I'm not really sure about this whole thing.

Bleeder sprinted off the deck without even knowing what was down there because she knows that look. That look of "This is probably going to be a bad idea, but I think I'm gonna go in" and stopped me... just in the nick of time because I would have kicked that snake's butt... no, I wasn't at all afraid of it, nor did I run to Bleeder and hide behind her. Nope that didn't happen.

She asked if I'd rather have a cookie, and of course I did, and she took me by the collar and we went inside, then she went out again and did this with the patent pending danger noodle removal tool that also picks up trash. Right into the front yard with the little one.

When the coast was clear, and I finished my cookie, I went out and gave that whole area a VERY thorough sniffing, but I was still very cautious because eeeeesh, that thing was huge. They also smell bad. 

The rest of the day was spent inspecting that area in case it came back, and eating goodies out of my Kong bone, but the adult kong bone is much more difficult than the little pink puppy bone, so there's a lot of this going on.