Exercise Routine

 Being a Working Breed, I'm told that I must ensure that I exercise sufficiently to maintain my sleek appearance, and tone my muscles.

Having owners that are old, feeble, bleedy, and gimpy, this has proven difficult. Sure, they take me on an evening walk, or as I like to call it: drag the humans through the neighborhood much to the enjoyment of all of the people in the neighborhood. We have quite the audience and frankly this parade is only missing some Shriners driving tiny cars precariously close to the feet of small children on the curbs.

My other exercise routines consist of:

  • Chasing a climbing rope that Bleeder drags through the yard to simulate a small woodland creature, if small woodland creatures were made of climbing rope... not as tasty.

  • Stalking and chasing the evil squirrels who would taste much better than climbing rope if only I could catch them. I'm honing my stalking skills and will soon taste victory... and squirrel.

  • Playing chase and kill the balls. I have many balls, but I prefer the Chukit ball for biteability, the soccer ball because it has easy grip tabs, and the pink soccer balls because they're made of tasty foam stuff. I don't like the small balls except for the one that squeaks like my nemesis the squirrel. The only problem with chasing and killing balls is that I must rely on the feeble Toast and Bleeder to throw them. Bleeder is lazy. REALLY lazy, so lazy that I have to do all the work myself. To punish her, when I run up the stairs, I swing the ball around hard and hit her in the head with it.

I also like to dig. Apparently I'm not allowed to dig near the fence, or near the gate (whatever that is, as they refuse to show me what a gate does), or near the big tasty wooden things that hold the deck up. So, knowing the rules, I have a lovely large hole right at the bottom of the deck stairs that traps all manner of woodland creatures, except the only things I've caught are feeble Toast and Bleeder, who keep saying that I'm trying to kill them, and something about "I can't play with you if I have to use a walker" or something like that.

I must admit that I really like the new Salmon foodables that I'm given and am eating more and pooping better, except for those time when I can't help myself and pull a huge chunk of grass out of the yard and eat it.

I'm looking forward to cooler weather, and I keep trying to look in the fridge reflection to see if there is any indication of snow nose. I'm told that this Merryland state I live in doesn't get a lot of snow, but when it does get snow it's usually a LOT of snow, so I'm hoping for a LOT of snow, otherwise I may have to request a trip to where the snow is.

That's about it for now. I see Bleeder is on the computer, so now I must fling myself onto her lap and lick the keyboard.


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