Human (Woman) Rights Day

Apparently the humans have declared this day their “rights” day. Um, hello? You have opposable thumbs, you can drive cars, you can go into grocery stores without being chased out, and you want RIGHTS?

FINE, so I sat down after my nap and came up with the Human (Woman) Bill of Rights. It goes something like this:

You have the right to curl up into a tiny ball so that we can stretch out and take up most of the bed.
You have the right to get up at 5:30 am and let us out and feed us breakfast.
You have the right to towel us off if we’re wet and muddy
You have the right to work hard so you can buy us the best dog food, which we’ll snub and demand something better.
You have the right to scratch my belly. No, I mean right now, scratch it, I have an itch.
You have the right to stand at the door and open it when I demand to come in, then out, then in, then out, then in... etc.
You have the right to fill my water bowl with fresh clean water after I’ve washed my dainty feet in it.
You have the right to feed me oyster crackers at bed time.
You have the right to be clawed... often... for no reason... be happy about that!
You have the right to have me breathe on your face with my dog food breath in the morning just because I want to, and because you are hogging the pillow.
You have the right to use me as a foot warmer, as long as you scratch my belly with your toes.
You have the right to step in a nice cold pile of yick in the morning if I’ve horka’d sometime during the night.
You have the right to consume mass quantities of my dog hair in your food
You have the right to feed my your table scraps, you just don’t choose to exercise that right and I think you should take advantage of it more.
You have the right to brag that you have the fluffiest, sweetest, most adorable husky in the land... oh yeah and those other two

So humans, you do have a lot of rights, so SHUT UP and scratch my belly.

Meeshka