Sunday, January 16, 2022

It's NOT Cold

 I have no idea what's up with Bleeder and Toast constantly complaining about being cold. It's NOT cold!

Sure, the snow was nice and chilly and fun to lay on. The ice is nice and chilly and fun to lay on. The deck is nice and chilly and fun to lay on, but I wouldn't call it cold! 

Currently (according to Bleeder) it is 14 degrees, with expected snow/ice/rain/thunderstorms/howling winds/and certain doom. I call all that fun!

The only thing I don't like about cold weather is that the ground freezes and I can't dig holes. I started a great hole the other day, I can lay in it! Bleeder thinks I'm digging her grave, that's what she calls it as she tries to fill it in, but I'm right there, digging it back out again, getting covered in glorious dirt and mud. I'm a working breed, I have jobs. This hole is my job. Bleeder would have taken a picture of it, but something about having to take off her gloves and it was too cold. She's such a freakin wimp.

It's like when I'm about to come inside. I HAVE to bring something in from outside. I trade non-edible items for a piece of cheese or other treat. The price of the treat depends on what Bleeder or Toast deem the item is worth. Rocks usually get me cheese. Sticks may get me a pupparoni snack, or sometimes nothing except the vacuum comes out to suck up the bits after I'm done ripping it apart. The things I get to "keep" are large hunks of ice.


Bleeder gets all anxious because sometimes it takes me a while to find the perfect thing to bring inside, which means the door is open, and according to her "I'm not paying to heat the entire world, pick your thing and get inside!"

Once they are inside, they are placed in my outside water bowl that is currently inside. Typically when they aren't looking, I'll get it out of my inside outside water bowl and place it in the direct path of their bare feet so it can melt. Speaking of which... perhaps if they would grow some feet fur they wouldn't be cold all the time.

Me modeling my inside outside water bowl

My other grievance is that the Roomba attacked me. It ATTACKED ME! I've learned my lesson and I don't attack the Roomba any more (sorta) when it's crawling through the house, and I certainly don't (lately) pee in front of it, which sends it back to its home quickly. I was just minding my own business, taking a nap, letting it do it's stupid thing and boom, it tried to bite my leg.


I could have ripped it to shreds, or peed on it and would have been justified with defending myself, but no, I'm a good puppy, I'm a pretty little princess, and I just moved to another napping spot, but I tell you what, that was a great napping spot, all nice and floofed up and the stupid Roomba ruined it.

Bleeder made my favorite last night: grilled cheese. I don't actually get a grilled cheese, I get my own special cheese broken into little bits as I supervise the cooking of the actual grilled cheese.

Excuse me Ma'am... cheese tax

Despite the fact that I'm actually working and supervising, Bleeder makes me work for my cheese (it's never enough with her), and requires me to "give paw". I'm not a big fan of having my feets touched, but there's cheese, so we all have to make sacrifices. I do the bare minimum of "paw giving" and paw touching as possible, which Bleeder and Toast think is adorable. Hey, whatever makes you happy and gets me treats, have a ball.

Well, I have to get back to napping now, I'm saving up all of my energy for the big snow, rain, ice, thunderwind thing coming around 3pm human time today. I will be dragging Bleeder and Toast outside for a rousing game of hypothermia and frostbite ball chase.


1 comment:

  1. We have the big snow/ice/rain/thunderstorms/howling winds/and certain doom and let us tell you - IT'S AWESOME. Sadly, though, after only a few hours, the humans say something about being cold and wanting to go inside. Silly humans.