Disappointments

I'm NOT thrilled with this Merryland state! The lack of snow is appalling, and the people that predict this appalling weather need to be clawed and feathered.

Here I was, all ready for 1-3 inches of the glorious powdery goodness and what did we get? Rain. Not only rain, which I don't like because it goes right into my ears, but sideways rain. Then it was sideways rain with bits of hard ice particles, that also went into my ear, and I refused to go outside during that. Then what did we get? FINALLY fluffy flakes of snow fell from the sky... only to melt in all the water and ice pellets. When the wind picked up and started flinging shards of ice off of the trees, Bleeder refused to let me out or go outside with me... I don't blame her actually, it was stupid outside.

So, nothing, we got nothing. Just some falling snow that was pretty, and then ice. I like ice. My outdoor water bowl was a giant ice cube this morning and that was fun, but it's cold out, which means Toast and Bleeder are not inclined to go out and play with me. They said this week it will be warmer and they'll play... but I don't want to play when it's warm! Maybe my walks will resume. I hope so.

I'm also told that I get to go on a special car ride next weekend and it's not to the vet. Apparently Toast and Bleeder will get all fancy dressed and take me to a photography studio for the traditional family portraits. That should be fun. They will both be wear long sleeves to hide the claw marks and blood.

Speaking of claw marks, I'm being trained to have my feet in a "hold". It requires a lot of treats and patience (Bleeder has the treats, the patience part... eh). It also requires that the snippy clippers are held near my feet, and I know where this is leading to... the trimming of my razor-like talons, specifically my DEWM claws (Toast and Bleeder call them the claws of DEWM for my innate ability to use them to rip through fabric and flesh). I've chiseled them into tiny machetes that will gut a caribou with one swipe, if I should ever meet a caribou, that is... it would also be lethal to those horrible squirrels, but I like to think big.

My DEWM claws were not removed when I was a baby, and Bleeder tried to get them hacked off during my spay, but I don't have floppy DEWM claws, my DEWM claws are sunk in with concrete and rebar and are there to stay and would require a pretty extensive surgical procedure, so I got to keep them... much to Bleeder's disappointment. I like my DEWM claws and I know how to use them to get my way.

Here are some gratuitous pictures of me this week, being adorable and the prettiest princess in the land.