Wayback Machine - The Wedding

 Well everyone, Bleeder suggested that since my predecessors lived in a time before the interwebs, that I spend some time learning about them and giving them some space on the blog. I'm all about sharing, just as long as I get some cheese in trade, so... FINE!

Remember, this all happened 34 years ago (that's 238 in dog years), so Bleeder's recollection may be a bit... foggy.

Bleeder and Toast were dating and talking of marriage. Toast was a United States Marine, and Bleeder had recently been honorably discharged from the United States Air Force, (and how they met is another bizarre story for another time) and got a cozy ground floor 1 bedroom apartment, and as a wedding gift to Toast, an adorable Siberian Husky named Nikki.

All they wanted was a quick civil ceremony with a reception of close friends, but there was a bit of an issue with setting a date for the wedding.

1. Toast's parents wanted to fly across the states from the West Coast to attend the wedding. We told them we would let them know a date. Bleeder's parents were all "well, just let us know, or not, whatever".
2. The USMC was undergoing an Inspector General (IG) inspection and didn't want any more paperwork to deal with, so they politely asked (ordered) him not to get married until after the IG inspection was completed.

Another detail was, if we didn't get married by the 15th, we couldn't file the paperwork and not get the Basic Allowance for Quarters (BAQ) which would pay the rent. So people always ask "why did they pick the 14th of April?" Well, they didn't, that just happens to be the day the IG inspection completed. So around 2pm it was done, so there was rushing around to get dressed up, gathering of witnesses and a hurried dash to the Annapolis courthouse before it closed to officially file the paperwork they had already pre-filed.

Bleeder grabbed the only dress she owned, Toast got into all his USMC finery and off they went, thankfully before closing time. They sauntered through the court house through the line of convicts in hand cuffs, and had to wait for the couple dressed in leather, and then it was their turn.

They both laughed at the "for richer or poorer" part because how much poorer could they get? About the only thing they had in the fridge was some hamburger, an onion, and some condiments.

Then it was a quick stop at the liquor store to pick up a keg (because Bleeder and Toast are all about swanky) and back to the apartment to prepare for the guests. The guests pretty much consisted of a LOT of Marines ready to celebrate the end of the IG inspection... oh, and that wedding thing, and a few USAF friends.

Nikki had a ball with all of her new friends, but the party was nearly de-railed when it was announced that something was wrong with the keg. People kept having to pump it, and they thought the hose had a leak or something, but then they noticed that once it got pumped up, a certain devious husky would walk up to it, nuzzle the dispenser, and drink the beer that came out. By this time she was sloppy drunk, dancing with a lamp shade on her head, and telling everyone that she loved them.

While they were dealing with drunk puppy, the phone rang and a high ranking Marine answered the phone, said "he can't come to the phone right now, he just F'ng got married" and hung up. Remember Issue #1 above? 

Yep, Toast's mother had called... before Toast could call her back, the phone rang again and the high ranking Marine yelled "STFU his mother's on the phone" for ALL to hear... including Toast's mother... so that's how they found out about our marriage (off to a great start there). So there was THAT conversation.

Meanwhile the guests were passing around the onion to take a bite of, and Bleeder and Toast have no idea what happened to the hamburger and condiments. Despite their attempts to keep the Nikki lush away from drinks, she soon found that if she looked adorable, the guests would put their cups on the floor to pet her and... when they found her staggering around looking for her car keys proclaiming she was fine to drive, they put her in her crate to sleep it off.

The party went on through the night, only one neighbor came to complain about the noise but when faced with an apartment filled with Marines, they congratulated the happy couple and left.

The next morning Nikki walked around sullenly wearing sunglasses, and begging Toast and Bleeder to "keep it down". By noon she was back to her crazy self.

She still loved a good beer now and then, but only in moderation.