Sunday, July 17, 2022

Maryland Bug Lesson

 Ya know last year when I was just a smol puppy, I don't remember so many bugs... of course we did have approximately 1,204,596,784,023 cicadas in the yard... which are very tasty, and probably distracted me from all of the other delicacies out there.

We have cicadas this year as well, but not as many. I still like snacking on them, and horka up the wings in inconvenient (for the humans) places.

This past month I've discovered quite an array of bugs in the yard. The worms are NOT tasty, but they are fun to roll in. My preferred method is the long, downward slide getting maximum pressure with the back legs so that my neck is covered in goo. That way when Bleeder pets me, she gets to share the fun.

The other things I've discovered I've charted below

The Plain Sky raisins are really annoying and get into the house. I stare at them intently until they get within reach and then I do whatever is necessary to kill them. That includes running over humans, furniture, and slamming my paws against the glass windows. For some odd reason this is not acceptable behavior, even after I've squished it between the glass and curtains. I should be rewarded for this service.

The Plain Sky raisins are NOT tasty.

Spicy Sky raisins. I've discovered these this year. Apparently I tried to discover them last year, but the humans shielded me from them by screaming NO BEES! That was enough of a distraction to allow the Spicy Sky raisin to escape. They come in two sizes around here. The extra grande and the small. 

The extra grande buzz around the deck and drill themselves into the wood. Bleeder hates them and electrocutes them with a tennis racket device. Apparently they are harmless sorta, but hard to catch even though they are the size of a 747. I try, and are told NO BEES!

The small ones... you would think the extra grande would be a problem, but the small Spicy Sky raisins are trouble. I snorfed one the other day while Bleeder had her back turned and that sucker bit me! It HURT! I YELPED, causing Bleeder to run over and stomp on the bee until it was dead and hold her foot on it because I wanted revenge. You can't bite me!!! You must die and then die again! I wanted at it, but she insisted that I go inside. Fine I'll go inside. 

Spicy Sky raisins have spears that come off and that spear was on my lip under my nose, so Bleeder had to suit up in her armor while Toast held me and they scraped the spear out of my lip. After that, it was kind of weird because Bleeder and Toast just stared at me for hours, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. 

Right after they scraped the spear out, I wanted outside and went straight to the attack area to find that Spicy Sky raisin and kill it some more, but it was gone. I suspect Bleeder moved the body.

Did I learn my lesson? Absolutely... gonna find those Spicy Sky raisins and hurt them back.

Then there's Flashy Bugs. Flashy bugs are pretty cool and fun to chase because they are either really fast, or there's a LOT of them in the yard so I run from flash to flash trying to catch them and not poop like I'm supposed to. They don't move very fast, but can flit when they see you coming. I did catch one finally... disgusting, bitter, nasty. Now I just chase them, but don't try to catch them.

Giant Sticky beetles! Wow, that's a new one, even to Bleeder who said when I was attacking it "What the #&%* is that thing?" It has very sticky legs and when you put it in your mouth, it clings to your face! I'm not cool with that, and it was hard to spit out. It also has some powerful forks on its face that try to pinch you and not in a fun way. When Bleeder stepped on it, she discovered it pretty much explodes in a goo, so she has to stand there and ward me off in order to pick up the mess with a poo bag.

I've found two of them so far because I'm really good at finding bugs, and those little fungus balls that stink really bad and get me a really good cheese trade up. I like bringing the stinky fungus balls into the house secretly so it stinks up the place real good.

The last bug comes in many shapes and sizes but they all have one thing in common... they taste gross, and those are the Flutter bugs. They just bounce around without a care in the world because they think that everyone knows they taste crappy, but hey, I gotta taste each one 50 or 60 times before I get the hint.

We had a LOT of rain yesterday, and thunder. I like thunder. Bleeder and Toast are happy that I'm not afraid of thunder, but they'd prefer I go inside when it starts.

OOH, that was a nice loud thunder
I also like to watch the rain out my window, but since the air vent is right under the window, and my face is against the window, the combination of hot and cold makes my windows fog up and I can't see anything.

Bleeder felt sorry for me so she moved the coffee table in front of the bigger window so I could see out, which was nice, but then I thought... this looks comfortable.

OOH, this is even better

I bought my bone up to have it handy in case I needed a snack. There's cheese in there.

That's about it. 

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