Catching Up

 It's FINALLY getting cooler outside, so I've been spending a lot of time in the yard eating forbidden things, doing forbidden things, and gathering rocks to trade for pieces of cheese.

Bleeder has, for some reason, deemed Pink Bone Cheese Time at 6pm sharp. That's a whole 2 hours after I eat and can be considered a form of torture. I impatiently wait and at 6pm sharp I fling my pink bone at her to gently remind her that it is now official Pink Bone Cheese Time.

Sometimes she packs the cheese in too tight and I can't get to it easily, so I'll pout and give her the big eyes until she feels sorry for me and helps push the cheese within easier reach. She's such a sucker for that. I'll also deposit Pink Bone on her lap to announce that it needs to be refilled when there's actually still cheese in the center, but it's not fresh cheese, it's gooey cheese and I like my cheese firm.

Last week Bleeder ate some food that was poisoned (or so she says) and she spent all day in bed being all pathetic and not tending to my needs. Something about an upset stomach and nausea, blah, blah, and I don't know why she didn't appreciate my gentle nursing techniques.

She's such a wimp. My stomach hurts, I'm nauseous, now I'm bleeding from your talons.

Last week there was also something very scary in the yard, up in the air, I can't describe it, but I refused to go out in the yard. It was just too scary. I forgot about it the next day, but let's just say it was scary and I didn't appreciate being leashed and dragged out into scary yard when I didn't want to do my "duty" in the scary yard... there was bandaids involved there. Since bandaids are becoming involved, that means it is time for my pawdicure next week. That means a lovely ride in my car, and lots of fragrant sniffs in the vet clinic parking lot.

I won't allow Bleeder or Toast to clip my nails. Nope, not happening. According to the vet staff, I saunter into the back room, offer up a paw and let them do it without screaming or flailing. They give me really good treats. Then I prance back to Bleeder and Toast in the waiting room like "what's so hard about that?". They roll their eyes.

On weekends I've been going on "sniff walks". They used to take me for "walks" which meant I had to walk and not spend any time sniffing the scenery and enjoying the smells. That meant that I needed to pull them really hard to get to the next available sniff spot and get my sniffs in before they caught up and dragged me away from the sniff spot.

Bleeder got tired of being dragged all over, and the walks weren't that enjoyable, so now we go on leisurely sniff walks. They let me go where I wanna go, sniff what I wanna sniff (except the sticky rose bush on the corner), and we go at my pace, not caring about steps or exercise. They've attached a leash to the back of my harness, and one to the front of my harness and we do spend a lot of time circling around when I start pulling, but I found that if I don't pull a lot, we don't circle around a lot, and then I have more opportunity to sniff. I also know that I can take my time and enjoy my sniffs, Bleeder and Toast enjoy the walk, I enjoy the walk, and we all enjoy the walk, which means more walks.

For those of you keeping count; half ball, then quarter ball became no ball recently, so I'm down to one ball.

My favorite ring became a noodle, and while I still enjoy playing tug with it, it also makes a lovely pillow.

Since ball went away, and noodle isn't as fun as a ring, I've dragged a new ball and new ring inside the house.

Last night I noticed that Bleeder was watching the Instagrams and laughing, then got on her computer and ordered something. I waited for her to go get some coffee and checked her browser history and found that she ordered me one of these to play with. I'm very excited and can't wait for it to arrive. If you have the Instagrams, you can see more pups playing with one here.

Now if you'll excuse me...

It was pancake Sunday this morning and I'm very tired from my feast.