Happy Birthday To Me

How ya doin?

 

Today I turn 3 years old, that's 21 in human years, so I'd like a beer, and the car keys, please.

In classic fashion, my birthday gifts won't arrive until tomorrow, but Bleeder did outdo herself with my birthday cake

Can't wait to eat... I mean blow out the candles.

Not only did I get snow for my birthday, but it's very tasty snow. I love licking it, and eating the clumps. I'm not crazy about the height, as the snow tickles and freezes my delicate po-po, so I've had to make some changes in my normal poop stance.

Bleeder also made me a snow "man".

Looks more like the monoliths of Mawphlang Sacred Forest in Meghalaya, India, but whatever. 

I wasn't exactly thrilled by it, and also forgot all about it, so the next time I came outside, I sensed an interloper in my yard, went full out front and back end hackle raised and stalked it. Bleeder knocked it down for me.

My favorite thing to do is lay on the deck and watch all of the birds and squirrels and ignore the annoying squeals of small children hurtling to their doom on slick pieces of plastic down the hilled busy road to doom.

I like others to share in my pasttime, so I require an escort on the deck. Silly humans have to put on their external furs to join my observations and witting repartee, but since it is my birthday, I asked Toast to put on some special furs befitting my birthday status, as well as my pecking order within the household.

I have yet to find anything that they aren't willing to do to make me happy... it's a challenge I've accepted with ridiculous demands.

• Throw the ball (for no reason because I won't chase it)
• Take me out (so I can lay on the deck and not pee before bed)
• Wake them up to take me out at 0100 so I can pee because I wouldn't get off the deck (or my favorite, get into bed, get my nightly treat and skritches, then jump off the bed to go pee because I wouldn't get off the deck)
• Wake them up at 0400 every morning to feed me tasty cream cheese (I know there's pills in there) and breakfast.
• Steal the entire bottom half of their bed
• Feed me pancakes on Sunday (I'm currently waiting on Toast to whip up my birthday pancakes, which are different than regular pancake Sundays in that it's not my birthday every Sunday.... but it should be).

So, by royal decree, I say unto you: go eat some pancakes and celebrate my birthday. While you're at it, eat some snow, but not the yellow stuff.