Out of the blue, Bleeder stayed home for a very long time, and I was very happy. I love having my personal assistant with me at all times, and frankly when she leaves to go off and do work for others, it makes me really mad.
 |
| I'm supposed to be your only client |
Bleeder and Toast spent a lot of time cleaning their clutter out of a back room and hauling it away. During the times when the front door wasn't open and I was locked behind the stairway gate, I got to assist with this decluttering by:
- Standing in their way
- Standing directly under some precariously balanced boxes
- Sniffing places that I was told was dangerous
- Chewing things found on the floor and being chased and bribed
- Not "getting out of their way" when told
- Barging in and taking over supervisory duties when I felt a box needed to be placed on the floor for sniffing purposes
I've never seen the downstairs back room so clean before! Now I'm able to go back there and sniff new things (except that mitre saw, for some odd reason), and paw through the stack of papers that Toast is trying to scan and shred (I'm also not allowed near the shredder, for some odd reason), and generally help sort through the stuff and decide what stays and what goes. I have free leash to walk in the back room now... which means I don't want to walk in the back room now. What fun is going into a room I can go into freely.
During one of the days that they call "Christmas" I was given a wonderful gift!
It was called a "lambchop" for some reason. I had to check to make sure it was suitable.
 |
| Hey, how about a little privacy, I'm getting to know this lambchop |
The first order of business was to rip out its tongue, which I served with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti. Can't have it screaming all the time.
Then I ripped its face off.
It did make a nice pillow when I was tired of gnawing on it
Or when I wanted to gnaw, but was just a bit worn out.
I also got a chicken. I still have the chicken, but one leg and its squeaker is gone
I have to say, I really enjoyed that Christmas thing... the New Year thing though... not so much.
There were no gifts at all, and people were making very loud booming noises in the middle of the night. I was perturbed and woke up Toast and Bleeder to express my dissatisfaction was the noise. Wasn't there some kind of law about this?
I was out in the yard trying to take a peaceful pee and next thing I know I'm being bombarded with sparkly things in the sky and booming.
According to Bleeder, I'm not as affected by them as Meeshka and Loki were, and she told me that she is thankful that I don't immediately pee on the bed and claw her, I just demand treats and play time when I'm anxious.
I also don't know what a "new year" is. It's just another day and it is my opinion that every day should be spent by waking up and having fun without the use of loud munitions, so why do humans celebrate one particular day... there's a lot of days, celebrate them (quietly) by having fun, not waiting around for one particular day.
 |
| Daylight is wasting, let's get in that muddy yard and play! |
In case you need a way to block out the noise of life, I highly suggest wearing a stylish pink dinosaur on your head.
Happy New Day to you all... now get up and go play.
Comments
Post a Comment