Happy Barf Day To Me

I had such high hopes for a fantastic birthday today.  I'm 10 years old, and as the Queen of the World, I think I deserve a dignified, treat laden, festive day to mark my 10 year anniversary as Queen of the World.

I woke the human woman up at the reasonable hour of 4:45am this morning, and because it was my birthday, she was actually very nice about letting the Mutatoe and I out, and promptly fixed us our breakfast without complaining!  Off to a wonderful start on my special day.  She even gave me extra cheese sprinkles before stumbling back to bed.

As usual, I jumped up and sat on her head for a bit.  The human woman is a prime candidate for spontaneous human combustion, so when she started heating up I left my head position to lounge on my very cushy bed next to the human woman's side, and of course the suck up Mama's dog Mutatoe nabbed my head spot.

I was dreaming of livergreat and all of the wonderful treats I would be getting throughout the day to celebrate my special day when I heard the unmistakable sound of pre-horka from above.  Without warning, splat!

Yep, the Mutatoe threw up on me!

Granted, I was hoping for a hot meal for dinner, I didn't expect pre-chewed  Mutatoe leftovers.

The human woman jumped up quickly and began to clean up the mess... without realizing that I had been the target of the spew.  I stood there... waiting.  Then I stomped my delicate little feety feet and rubbed against her and that certainly got her attention.  She cleaned me up and apologized (even though she wasn't the one that tossed their breakfast on me), and tried to comfort me, but I was inconsolable... who wouldn't be?

To make up for it, the Human Woman brought home LIVERGREAT!!!! Yessssssss!  She's been all attentive and nice to me, even after I claw her, so I guess it was worth the inconvenience... plus its much quieter since I buried the Mutatoe in the yard head first*.

*Please note: no Mutatoes were buried in the yard or harmed in the making of this blog post.

Thank you, and miscellaneous other things

Thank you one and all for the wonderful birthday greetings. As Copper mentioned, I am indeed 8 years young, as fluffy as ever.

For my birthday I received a wonderful new palatial crate with fleecy sleeping mat so I am no longer cramped with my fluff hanging out of the sides. I can sprawl in queenly comfort and nosh on my kong bone treats in style. Of course, the Mutatoe also got a palatial crate because his ample ass was hanging out of his crate, and Sam got one weeks ago, so I hardly think that my birthday present was unique to my birthday, and that irks me to some extent, but hey, its something.

I have also been remiss in accepted awards and sundry other bribes bestowed upon me, therefore as your Queen, I am now declaring that if I see a nice award on somepuppy's blog... I'll just take it. I am a husky and what is mine is mine, and therefore if I want it, I'll just take it, rip it to shreds, perhaps eat it, poop it out later, and then roll in it. I am husky!

Speaking of "better late than never", Skyboy has found that he is of Kingly heritage, or at least his human man is, and he has created his own royal court and has declared me as Queen. I must say that Skyboy knows how to suck up, and might even be afraid of the claw, but I am honored at this declaration and have placed the King Skyboy's Royal Court thing among some of the proudest achievements on my blog. You can't have it unless he declares you a part of his royal kingdom, so don't even think about stealing that!

I must say that having kingly roots is very cool. I've been able to trace back the humans' roots somewhat and have found the following:

Grandma human woman has no clue who her real father is, therefore we're pretty convinced that human woman hails from dysfunctional half wits until someone can prove differently. The late Grandpa human woman man's father ran away from home, changed his name, lied about his age to get into the Navy, and therefore we're pretty sure that this line also came from gypsies or con artists with a patriotic binge.

Grandpa Human man's family were carny folk (little hands, smell like cabbage), and the history shows that they all died under strange circumstances such as horse stealing, or shingles (which turns out to be a kind of torture where the accused is cut into thin slices and used as roofing materials). Grandma Human man's family is somewhat of a mystery and is believed to have been planted by aliens in the early 1800's.

Ok, I think I've caught up on the weekly happenings, so I'm off to nap on a vent.

Meeshka

Happy Birthday to ME!

Yes, today I am 7 years old. I'm not even going to go into that stupid "dog years" thing that the humans came up with to justify why we should behave ourselves, and yet we still don't get the right to vote, drive a car or buy booze in plain brown bags.

This morning the human woman threw the mutatoes out into the cold and allowed me to chew on the tasty chew bone with poultry flavoring. She also scratched all of my very itchy places. Later I got some kind of Popsicle thing to eat, that was tasty. She also gave me a lick of her yogurt spoon (raspberry), more scratching, and she let me claw her. I clawed her good too, it was a reared up, both feet coming down stabbing motion with a swipe at the end. I can't wait to see the interesting bruise that one made.

So, yeah, generally that was my birthday. Nothing really special. I would have had all of you over, but the house isn't a mess, and that would have meant I would have had to share my chewy bones and tasty ice creams, so sorry.