Hoo That Funny Human Woman!

Wanna hear something funny?  Oh its a real knee slapper... if dogs had knees... well, we do have knees, its just a bit inconvenient to slap them when we laugh, but I'm sure you'll appreciate this real hoot of a funny story.

Yeah, so remember how I told you that Spineless Bionic hip/knee pup, Sam, was on antibiotics for a personal (sore pee pee) reason?  Yeah, and did I happen to mention that the specific antibiotics he was on is the very same antibiotics that I'm allergic to and make me horka if I have them?  Well, I may have neglected to mention that part, because why on earth would the human woman even bother to give me any of those pills, because they are for Sam and not for me and she knows that they make me horka?

Because the human woman is a moron and the other night while she was distracted with whatever delusional thoughts go on in that head of hers, she prepped us all some tasty livergreat and smooshed the Spineless pill in some livergreat and then gave us all our bits of mooshed livergreat and then said (wait for it, its a side splitter):

Wait a minute... where's Sam's pill?

Yep, that's right, she had no idea WHO she may have fed the livergreat smeared pill to!  Hello SPCA?

So what do you think the odds were that of three livergreat globs given to three dogs that the ONE dog that's allergic to the pill would get it... need a calculator for that one... want a hint?

I'm so freaking clawing her in her sleep.

Meeshka
I want another dinner now!

Happy Barf Day To Me

I had such high hopes for a fantastic birthday today.  I'm 10 years old, and as the Queen of the World, I think I deserve a dignified, treat laden, festive day to mark my 10 year anniversary as Queen of the World.

I woke the human woman up at the reasonable hour of 4:45am this morning, and because it was my birthday, she was actually very nice about letting the Mutatoe and I out, and promptly fixed us our breakfast without complaining!  Off to a wonderful start on my special day.  She even gave me extra cheese sprinkles before stumbling back to bed.

As usual, I jumped up and sat on her head for a bit.  The human woman is a prime candidate for spontaneous human combustion, so when she started heating up I left my head position to lounge on my very cushy bed next to the human woman's side, and of course the suck up Mama's dog Mutatoe nabbed my head spot.

I was dreaming of livergreat and all of the wonderful treats I would be getting throughout the day to celebrate my special day when I heard the unmistakable sound of pre-horka from above.  Without warning, splat!

Yep, the Mutatoe threw up on me!

Granted, I was hoping for a hot meal for dinner, I didn't expect pre-chewed  Mutatoe leftovers.

The human woman jumped up quickly and began to clean up the mess... without realizing that I had been the target of the spew.  I stood there... waiting.  Then I stomped my delicate little feety feet and rubbed against her and that certainly got her attention.  She cleaned me up and apologized (even though she wasn't the one that tossed their breakfast on me), and tried to comfort me, but I was inconsolable... who wouldn't be?

To make up for it, the Human Woman brought home LIVERGREAT!!!! Yessssssss!  She's been all attentive and nice to me, even after I claw her, so I guess it was worth the inconvenience... plus its much quieter since I buried the Mutatoe in the yard head first*.

*Please note: no Mutatoes were buried in the yard or harmed in the making of this blog post.

Memorial Day, such memories

Its been a very exciting day here in Castle Meeshka!

The human woman finally stopped horka'ing in the porcelain bowl and after laying in bed for about 24 hours, she got up. We didn't mind her laying around all day and all night as the human man fed us, and he always gets the amount wrong. Not only that, but they had leftover bland rice that the human woman didn't eat, so we got a late night snack of that in our bowls mixed with a bit of tasty water.

Oh, I forgot to mention (because its so horrible) but the human woman did get up once last night. Apparently she wasn't too keen about my clawing her bloody when the stupid humans down the street starting setting off firecrackers (I didn't realize that Memorial day was a day for setting off firecrackers, but apparently the idiots that live down the street think that payday is a reason to set off firecrackers). I had to wear the t-shirt, and to show my displeasure, I totally mangled Bionic hip spineless Sam's cushy pillow. I'm guessing there is another reason why my delicate little feety nails will be clipped on thursday when my teeth are getting cleaned.

So, human woman gets up this morning and like a busy little bee, she hovers around the coffee pot until it was done brewing (having learned her lesson from that little incident where she stuck her face under the spout), and stood there leaning until the first two cups were done, then she went outside without us.

We always enjoy it when she does that. Usually it means that she's cutting the grass so that it doesn't tickle our delicate po-pos, but this time not only did she do that, but she also gave us something new to play in. Apparently its called "Quikrete" and it now covers the holes in the concrete that the deck people jacknifed into the concrete pad in the back. We liked the holes they dug for us because there was tasty things in there, and it was fun to dig in there. Apparently the human woman got tired of us doing that, so she Quikreted over the holes. The fun part is that it wasn't exactly dry when she let us out, and of course, since its new, we had to inspect it. Our feety feets are now immortalized in the quik (but not quik enough) krete!

She put poo on the paver blocks she threw down the other day, so we can't dig those up, might as well have fun with the quikrete, and boy did we ever. There are some Sammy paws, and some Mutatoe paws, and some of my tiny delicate feet and claws... hmm, maybe a trimming wouldn't be half bad.

The human woman is also planning a trip apparently. She should be packing any moment now to "go insane". I think the human man is going too, and he's only packing his one last straw. I really don't know why they picked this time to take a trip, especially when the kitchen sink started leaking all over. Someone is coming out to fix that today, so I guess they'll be leaving on their trip after he fixes the kitchen sink. I hope they remember to leave out enough food for us until they get back.