Mr. Shumer, We care

Hey, Chatty class who doesn't like pork... don't you want to just claw this pompous human?




I just wanted Mr. Shumer, that politician guy, to know that I've conducted a poll, and apparently we do care about pork. Not as much as beef, but its pretty much up there with beef, although I think the poll was skewed a bit as not enough cat population was included, otherwise I think that tuna would have been right up there with beef. Personally, I'm glad tuna didn't make it higher on the list, as the Mutatoe gets butt issues when he eats tuna and fish stuff.

So, here are the official results of the poll:

A Fair and Balanced Dog

You should be aware that Sam (spineless bionic hip puppy) leans to the left.

Oh, not his political views, his left front leg is shorter than the other, so he leans to the left.

Despite this deformity, the humans were growing concerned that he spends most of his time laying on the bed watching CNN Headline news, so they're now changing the channel to Fox News once in a while, just to make sure he's getting the news from various sources. If he leans any more left, they're afraid that he'll fall over, and they think that if he gets news from "both sides" that maybe he'll be cured and not lean.

So, here is a report on the latest news from Sam:

Hey everyone! I'm honored that Meeshka allowed me to use some of her blog space to report the news to you. I love the news. I especially love CNN, but that's only because I have the hots for Erica Hill, who isn't as cute as my Frankie Woo but I pretend that Ms. Hill is my Frankie Woo and I daydream, but the humans think I just like the news. Ok, I do like the news, so here's an update on what's been happening on the news from what I understand:

1.) The leaders of the U.S. are insane and pretty soon everyone will get free cheese because they won't be able to buy their own food. I like cheese. I'm all for this free cheese thing. It would be even better if they gave free livergreat and cheese, maybe some bacon too.

2.) O.J. Simpson is guilty. Um... riiight. Next thing you're going to tell me is that Clay Aiken is gay. WHAT? Well, I never saw that coming either.

3.) One guy promises this, another promises that, the first guy says the second guy is wrong, the second guy says the first one is wrong... vote Turbo/Khyra 2008... just so those two guys will shut up so I can watch Erica Hill.

4.) Humans want a woman president... but apparently not THAT woman.

5.) No, I linked that one correctly... what? He's a guy? Oh, sorry.

6.) An American Carol movie sucks, but the Bill Maher's slam on religion is brilliant... I have no idea why humans think the media is biased. Frankly, neither of them have Erica Hill or my Frankie Woo, so they both suck.

7.) The networks have cancelled plans to have DNN: Dogs News Network, apparently there was some problems with the Cat Union wanting equal time, but who wants to watch cats licking their butts.

I think that's about all of the news worth reporting today.

Sammy the Amazing

Fashion Pig

The human woman was all upset today about some pig named "Bill".

Apparently the rulers of this part of the land feel that Bill wasn't good enough to fool the people into believing that a pig would be a good idea, so one part of the rulers put some lipstick on Bill and fed him so he got really large. Then other part of the rulers put a suit on Bill and fed him some more stuff and now he's really huge.

The rulers are parading Bill around and telling people what a wonderful pig he is, look he's got a suit and he's wearing lipstick (not that there's anything wrong with that) and they're trying to make the people love Bill.

Except they aren't fooled. A pig in lipstick and a suit is still a pig... except the rulers think they know better and pretty soon, Bill will be taking your money away too, instead of helping you. The rulers will applaud and cheer at Bill and claim they've helped the people, because rulers don't have to live with Bill.

I seriously have no idea what she's rambling about. Maybe she's been sneaking the nyquil again.

Regardless, vote Turbo and Khyra... because, well all of the humans running for Prez really suck.

Meeshka