Monday, July 20, 2009

My Most Excellent Vet Trip (sorta)

On Saturday I got to go for a ride in the newly remodeled Husky RAV. Its about time the human woman took out those back seats and made it purely MY chariot for rides to cool places, but so far the only place I've been was to the vet this weekend. I need to make it clear to her that going to the vet does not count as a cool ride.

I thought for sure that I'd be scott free, what with the human woman incompacitated by the stupid boot thing, but she was still able to drag me into the clinic and into a room. I didn't want to go, I know what they do there and its not pleasant at all. The human man had to step out of the room to take a phone call just as they rudely put a thermometer in a place where things aren't suppose to go in, only out. I screamed really loud and scared the human man who thought I was being skinned alive.

You will be pleased to know two things:
1.) I am down to a svelte 65 pounds thanks to my fat burning regimine of laying on the air vent and starving to death on the meager amount of food the human woman put me on. My doctor was very concerned about the weight loss until the human woman explained that she had been starving me to death to make me lose weight. I thought for sure my trusty doctor would tell her to feed me more, but she didn't. I hate my vet now.

2.) I would not hold still and allow them to squirt that kennel cough crap up my nose. No amount of people laying on me (a total of 3) could get me to sit still for that nonsense. I was able to throw all of them off me and make a run for it, but I was connected to the human woman and dragging that fat load down a slippery vet clinic hallway was impossible. They ushered me back into the room and poked me with yet another needle.

They gave my human woman a vial to collect my poop to bring in, and frankly I'm not pleased at all with that. What's mine is mine and I won't let her have any. I've made it a point to poo as far away from the house as possible so she doesn't want to gimp out there in her boot and gather my precious poo.

After all that exertion you would think I would get some extra food or at the very least more cheese sprinkles than normal, but no, the meager portion of food. Come on human woman, I'm so thin I may just waste away if you don't up the caloric intake pretty soon.

Just to make sure she knew I wasn't happy about my "trip" I sat on her head at bedtime and refused to move. Tomorrow I'll claw her broken foot.



Dexter said...

My mastiff mobile is a two seater because the rear seats have been stored away in the attic of the garage to make room for my large and filling spaces self.

I got that kennel cough thing up my snooter. I didn't even see it coming, but I will be ready next time.

Good job on the weight loss.


NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With Khattledog said...

Khongrats on all your good work!

PeeEssWoo: I wonder what Indy and his mom will pikhk on woo fur NOW!

Jans Funny Farm said...

We don't want to get you upset with us. You're quite the terror when you want to be, aren't you!

Yas said...

Whoa..can't let mommy read this, she's trying to make me lose weight too..!


Hoover said...

Hey Meeshka,

I like the way you work! HeHeHe!

Two thumbs up for the head sit! My humnas hate that.

I'm sorry about the food deprevation. I must be the only dog who needs to gain weight.

Hoover BPD (Battery Powered Dog)

Jack & Moo said...

Ha-roo! Imagining woo throwing off 3 bipeds & dragging your human woman down the hall makes us howl with laughter! BTW, she owes woo a big time cool trip after putting woo through vet torture.

Woos & a-roos,
Star & Jack a-roo

Poppy said...

I have to have the nose squirt soon too. Yuck!


The Thundering Herd said...

Oh, yes, the chariot should be all yours. Our human has permanently removed the back seat of our Jeep just for us.

The Army of Four said...

Wow, you look totally cool in that picture!
I just had to say that.
Play bows,

ThePainterPack said...

Woo is the Sibe!! I would have loved to see woo throwing the hoomans off woo!!! Glad woo went all Sibe on 'em!! Take it easy on your hooman woman...if woo irritate her broke footy foot, woo might not get any food at all!!!


Khady Lynn said...

Don't feel too bad Meeshka, my human woman has me back on the stupid green bean diet. Dad says I look fat.

Stupid humans.


Teddy Westlife said...

Have you tried getting the Mutatoe with his ample ass to sit on the human woman's foot?

You look very nice in your photo, even if you are at the v-e-t.

Huffle Mawson

Maverick the Pirate said...

Harrrrr Meeshka
way to make the vet trip harrrrrd Harrr.
Cap'n Maverick the Pirate

Indy said...

Oh Meeshka, congratulations on your svelte-ness. My mom and dad did say a few weekends ago that you looked really good. You weigh the same as me now!

Good for you for throwing everyone off of you at the vet. I also hate when they put things in the out-hole...only humans would think of something so gross!

Louka said...

You're only 65lbs? Wooo, you're such a skinny, little husky! Very petite and pretty indeed (besides, you know, being that glorious red colour mommy gushes about). I'm 80lbs and mommy says I'm skinny, so you must be STARVED! Claw your human woman to give you more food!