Rules? There's Rules?

 First of all, I didn't think I had to do this weekly, but apparently there's that and some other rules living with these people.

Had I known they were so high maintenance I might have altered my devious plan.

I'm not allowed to chew on things.

Hang on, let that sink in for a moment: I CAN'T CHEW ON THINGS?

Oh sure, they bought me bones and toys and things to chew on, but why would I do that when there's a really tasty wooden coffee table at the exact height for chewing?

This coffee table is pre-chewed so I don't want to hear it

Walls aren't made for chewing? Excuse me? Did I hear that right... walls are NOT made for chewing? I'm pretty sure that's not correct.

Once again, I'm clearly NOT the first puppy to sample this wall

Did I mention the tasty carpet...

So, clearly there is precedent for chewing and I'm a puppy, so I can chew.

The people think otherwise and The Bleeder bought a bottle of "Bitter Orange" to deter me from chewing. Every time I'd gnaw on something, she'd whisk me aside and spritz that concoction on whatever tasty thing I sunk my sharp teeth into.

I think the whole purpose was to stop me from chewing, but I find the taste and aroma a bit cloying. It's a medium bodied and saucy mixture with decedent elements coalesced. It pairs well with drywall and old rug.

Since this didn't work, they brought out the big guns with the scary can of "NO".

It's loud, annoying, and apparently means "no"

Not everything is a "no"

I get to sleep on the couch when I want, but I need a hand getting up and down, because I'm tiny

I have a bread bowl bed, which is comfy, but also chewy... but I haven't ripped it up yet. I'm waiting to gain the people's confidence and then rip it to shreds.

I will, of course, blame the Toast Man for this because he keeps trying to convince me that something is under it, and that I must attack that thing

Speaking of Toast Man, he's actually very comfortable.

Back to the rules:

I'm not allowed to snorfle at the kitchen shelf items

I'm not allowed to stick my head under the very expensive dish cleaning machine and rip out its guts.

They also don't want me to hang off the couch... for some reason

But this is how ALL huskies sleep.

There are more rules, but I've forgotten all of them, but The Bleeder and Toast Man constantly remind me about them.

Next blog post I'll show you all of my cool electronic gadgetry.

Later

Casey