Friday, June 11, 2021

The Saga of My Toys

 Some people say I have too many toys.

I have no idea what they're talking about. I have just the right amount of toys, because apparently they just don't make toys like they used to.

For instance... this is my sticky bunny

Sticky Bunny is one of my favorites. When I get angry, I take it out on Sticky Bunny. I'm embarrassed to admit that I actually hump Sticky Bunny to show him who is boss. 

Mr. Toast calls him Sticky Bunny even though he's not a bunny, but he is pretty sticky, for some reason. 

I love my sticky bunny.

Unfortunately, Sticky Bunny suffered a fatal blow to the head that caused his stuffing to come out and some of it landed in my mouth (I have an airtight alibi, I was nowhere near him at the time).

R.I.P. Sticky Bunny

Here is my lamy

I love you so much Lamy, I won't let anything happen to you

Lamy was my best friend

For some odd reason, Lamy caught a wasting disease after suffering from a hole in the neck. It was a spontaneous thing, I was napping at the time. I didn't care, I still loved desiccated Lamy.

At one point Desiccated Lamy also started shedding long strings, and was also turning a bit crunchy... then disappeared. I like to think he's just on vacation.

My Wubba

My Wubba lasted 1 day, then exploded. I'm pretty sure I was out in the yard taking a tinkle at the time, so I had nothing to do with it, but did you know that the ball part of a Wubba is actually a regular tennis ball with an itty bitty tennis ball at the top?

Squeaky Ball

I don't even want to go into the mindset of whoever developed these things. Sure they are squeeky, and boy can they fly, and they are so much fun to chase and chomp on, but the fluff on them is like a floofy coating that comes apart with normal wear and savaging... I mean play. I can unfluff one of these things in a heartbeat, and then I get all sorts of fingers in my mouth sweeping the green fluff out before I can swallow it. It's like cotton candy, right? What's the big deal?

Wally Gator

Wally Gator was billed as "indestructable". AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA

WOW, seriously? Great fun, although Wally didn't squeak, which was a bummer, but he did make some sort of crackly noise when you chewed on him, so that was fun. He was great for "fetching", and flinging around though.

Wally suffered a devastating contusion of the right jaw, which set about a cascade effect of lots of tasty strings that aren't good for puppies to swallow. He succumbed to his injuries and was buried in the world's most expensive trash can. We held a service for him, it was touching.

Mr. Moose

Clearly Mr. Moose was defective right out of the box. I suspect an aneurism.  I was visiting the shower room when this happened. Witnesses say he clutched his head and fell over.

Mr. Moose was interned in a lovely black bag along with coffee grounds and that head of lettuce the humans forgot about in the fridge.

My Teddy

I've had My Teddy since I got to this place. For some odd reason he's disappeared... I don't know why. Hopefully he'll show up again soon.

Sticky Bunny II

The humans felt bad when Sticky Bunny passed, so I got a new Sticky Bunny.

I'm pretty sure that Sticky Bunny II will last a long time....

1 comment:

  1. Yep...

    A GoFUNdme is needed!

    And since Willow is a NONtoying heeler, you are welcome to come to PAWSylvanina for the two boxes of loot!