All The Tasty Things

 I'm a snacker. I love snacks and the yard is bountiful with snacks!

• Sticks
• Leaves
• Bugs
• Snails
• Purple Flowers
• Mulberries
• That robin that keeps harassing me
• Vines
• Roots
• Dirt
• Grass
• Sticks (I listed them twice because they are very tasty)

I love snacks so much that I won't eat my kibble because I have so much to taste in the yard.

I dig for roots.  I love roots, especially vine roots. The Bleeder keeps ripping out all of the stupid English Ivy that has grown on the fence for years and it keeps creeping back into the yard overnight (much to my delight, but not hers). Then there's the JEEZUS *$&#*%&# ivy that makes her itch. 

When I dig for roots, Bleeder puts a little piece of my poo in the hole to stop me from digging. This is barbaric. Especially when Toast throws my squeaky tennis ball into one of these mine-field holes. Nah, I'll pass on the whole "fetch" thing, thanks.

There's one thing that isn't tasty, but I can't help myself... lightning bugs. These bugs are fun to play with, but they taste SOOO HORRIBLE, and yet, I can't help myself. Leaping and snapping, spewing out, there's another! LEAPING and SNAPPING... oh, just as bad. Toast says I'm a slow learner.

So, I've got a myriad of fun toys to play with, but I require the humans to throw them at me so I can chase them, growl at them, then sit and wait for the next toy to be thrown. When all of the toys have been thrown, we switch sides, and start over again. It's great fun. Bleeder complains that she's averaging 10,000 steps a day just playing this game, but frankly she's old and frail and could use some exercise.... just sayin.

We started off with just a soccer ball... but I ate it.

Squeaky duck... ate it

Gigantic ball seems a bit more sturdier and it's fun to growl at when it rolls past me.

On the inside I have pickle pockets and Goughnuts to chew on

Om NOM tasty

Of course, my go to chew toy is the Bleeder, but she pulled a fast one on me lately and purchased these sleeve things.

They've made it NO FUN to gnaw on her, so I stopped. Oh sure, there are random tooth incidents, but since I now have most of my adult teeth, she isn't bleeding AS MUCH as before, but she still bleeds... I make sure of that at least once a week.

I've learned of a new tasty treat called "popcorn". This appears mainly when there's a good movie on. I feel it should be included in my daily diet (along with snails, they're tasty too).

Every night I play: Got Your Side of the Bed with Toast.

This vantage point is also handy for harshly judging the Bleeder's wardrobe... seriously... Dockers and long t-shirts?  What's with all the black and gray, can you not add a pop of color to the mix, and when I say color, I don't mean green or brown.

There have been discussions about "going back to work". These discussions also include Toast putting on real pants and leaving for short periods of time. I do not like this. He was gone for a long time the other day and I had a panic attack. Sure Bleeder was right there with me, but Toast NEVER goes anywhere except out front, and typically when he goes out front he's getting into my fancy car and I'm going with him.... 

Sure I've been in my crate during the day for a while, snacking on tasty kongs and chewing on my chewy bones, but I KNOW he's in the other room... so when he got home, I had to make sure he didn't go anywhere.

Bleeder and Toast say that I have a lot of work to do in a few weeks, but I've seen how they act about work, so I'm pretty sure this is not a good development.

Casey