It's What You Wanted, So Why Are You Mad?

 Living with these humans is so confusing. So many contradictions. 

Chase and bring the ball back but don't run straight into their legs.

Snuggle in bed but don't take up the entire foot of the bed.

Wake them with gentle licks, but don't stand on their chest.

We've had a LOT of rain. LOTS of rain. LOTS and LOTS of cold, icy rain.

Of course they want me to stand on my kitchen rug and snorfle for treats while they towel me off. Is it my fault that Bleeder was in brushing her teeth with some kind of contraption and not chewing on the tasty veggiedents and was not available to wipe me off?

No, and since I've been told to shake off first before I'm gently toweled off, I thought I would be nice and just come to her in the bathroom.

She was rather upset about that for some reason... and was preoccupied with drying herself with the towel, so once again, I took it upon myself to towel off, leaving her alone to do whatever it was she was doing.

Apparently, this was also not acceptable, and I just give up with them.They are impossible.