Apparently this month is the season of giving. I have no idea what that means, I give year round: fur, scratch marks, bruises, my butt in their face, sticks.
Why, this morning I bequeathed Bleeder with this remarkable branch that I found in the yard. I had to chisel it just right and all I got for my troubles was "the look".
I know, I know, it's not a dead bird, or squirrel (still trying), but it was the best I could do with the materials I'm allowed to have. I have to assume that sucking it up with the Dyson handheld was just her way of saving all of the bits of my special gift. I don't appreciate being chased outdoors with the handheld, and I curse the magic of cordless loud things as she actually chased me into the yard with it... something about getting some exercise. Well, she needs it. She spent all day yesterday complaining about a spike in her head because of the weather. Since she seemed so concerned about the weather, I made sure I went out in the rain and brought as much of it in as possible for her. Once again... no appreciation.
Anyway, I've received two very special gifts lately. The first one is nothing but trickery and deceit. It is called "the Diggerdog Nail file" (also available on Amazon). It comes from Australia (where everything tries to kill you, or so I'm told), and this is no exception. It wants to steal your sharp claws.
You see, although I'll happily prance into the vet clinic and go to the back room for attention and treats and delicately offer my paws up for clipping... that ain't happening at home. NOPE. I don't trust them with anything. I've seen them try to put together furniture with tools.
Right now I'm in the "introduction phase" where the treats go in, I lick the file and that's not fun, so I stomp on Bleeder, jump onto the crate and snag the bag of treats. Seems easier that way. Cuts out the middleman. I'll let you know how the rest of the training goes. It's just for front feets (by the way).
The second gift is MUCH better as it requires no feets action and is just stuffed full of nommy goodness and it's called a Pupsicle.
I really don't like Kongs except for the bone kongs. According to Bleeder, I'm lazy and give up too quickly. When I can't reach anything in a Kong I pick it up and fling it at the nearest human to signal that I need assistance. They bounce it back to me, so then I fling it at them harder. They aren't too fond of this game.
The Pupsicle can be filled with treats and nommy things, or your humans can fill the little ice cube tray with treats and nommy things and freeze it (same concept as freezing a Kong, but you make little balls that fit inside.
Screw it up and tah dah, instant nommy fun. Dishwasher safe too, and made from really sturdy rubbery stuff that's also fun to chew. A lot less messy than a Kong (since I fling mine all over). Plus there isn't a bottom hole for things to melt and leak all over. Don't worry, the top has plenty of holes so there is no chance of creating suction and getting your tongue stuck. Bleeder says to remind me to tell you that all toys need supervision anyway, and remember to keep the bottom hole of a kong open when you freeze stuff in it as well.
It takes me about a half hour to finish up a frozen Woof Pupsicle, whereas it takes me about 10 minutes to get mad at my Kong and start flinging it, so Bleeder is quite happy about that. She fills it was canned food, some training treats and tiny dollop of low fat cream cheese.
Well, that's about it, sure this sounds like an infomercial, but I need to tell you all about these things so you know what to ask your humans for during this most wonderful time of the season of giving year.
Honestly, all I really want is some snow.