Driving Miss Crazy to the Vet

 It's been a very exciting week with lots of fun things.

I'm pretty sure you all know my mission to catch a squirrel. These foes are wily, and sneaky... and pompous. They flout their ability to run fast and climb trees, going just high enough where I can't leap up and catch them, and they laugh at me.

Well, one of them wasn't laughing the other day.

They get on MY deck, and every once in a while, they get under MY deck, and I know this. This is why sometimes I sneak out very slowly, and other times I rush out very quickly, dash down the stairs and run to guard the tree.

Sure enough, one of the fuzzy tailed rats was under the deck and when I turned around, I saw it... trapped, no tree within reach, so I began my patented sneaky sneaky stalk. Bleeder was totally caught unawares (her normal state of being) and thought I was stalking her (seriously? you are are so slow, there's no need to stalk, I can literally race up and fling my body at you, like normal). Then she turned around and saw the squirrel and yep, GAME ON!.

Squirrel tried to leap on the recycle bins that block the gate, but slid off, bounced off the bin as I was streaking toward it. It tried to leap again, and parkour'd off the side of the house with me in hot pursuit. 

It dashed toward the deck stairs (the high pitched keening noise I later discovered was Bleeder wondering how 1.) she was going to "trade up" for a squirrel, and 2.) what she was going to do with it once she got it.)

The squirrel bounced off the deck stair railing and began its desperate sprint toward the back tree with me right on its tail. There was more Bleeder shrieking and I'd like to believe she was rooting for me and not the fluffy rat.

It barely flung itself into the tree and I thought it had learned its lesson, but no, it scrambled just high enough, screamed some fluffy rat obscenities at me and sauntered back up the tree. I hate the fluffy rats.

Yesterday they finally took me for a pawdicure. I had been gnawing at my nails for a few days, so I got all dressed up in my finery.

Leashed up and out the door we went... except this time they opened up the back door of the creaky old RAV. Um... excuse me, this is not my ride. This is an embarrassment. This is so... not... cool. Something about getting used to different vehicles. Um, that's stupid, and embarrassing to be seen riding around in this. Not only am I strapped into the back, sure I have a cushy bed and plush toy, but this? This is stupid.

I immediately jumped out, but didn't calculate that they had clipped my leash to the tether, so I hung around a bit until they could lift me into the back again. This never happens in my cushy back seat Tesla X ride!

I like to navigate. Sure they already know where we're going, and usually have a mechanical navigation device on, but I'm a working breed, and if I'm going to be shoved into the back of an ancient machine, I will do some work. 

Bleeder miscalculated the length of the leash and tether, which allowed me to ooze myself into the middle of the seats with a bit of reach.

Toast was not happy with me, or Bleeder, for some odd reason, but we got there just fine. 

I was not keen on going into the vet clinic, or on the scale, or when they came to take me, but as usual, I was the perfect little princess and now my nails are perfect.

When we drove home, Bleeder adjusted the tether and I was unable to reach the seats and I'm still very angry about that. I spent the whole drive pouting.


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