New Year Resolutions

Happy New Year

That was me last night until neighborhood idiots started shooting off fireworks. Well, I certainly was not happy with all of the hullaballoo going on outside in the middle of the night. Loud explosions for no reason. 

If I was going to be up, then so were Bleeder and Toast. I'm told I'm a LOT more gentle in my insistence that they get up. Something about panting, clawing, and peeing. I need to work on my "wake your butts up, there's loud noises" alarm to meet those expectations. 

Honestly, I was just angry at being woke up, and I certainly wasn't going to go outside when all of that was going on... until I heard the back neighbor yappy dog yapping in their yard and then I had to go and out show her I wasn't afraid of loud noises.

I even pooped and scratched to show her. Silly little yappy dog.

After about an hour we all went back to bed. Between you and me, I think Bleeder planned the whole thing to get me out of bed because I had snagged the full foot of the bed from her.

Since I know a lot of you read my blog over your humans' shoulders, I just wanted to remind you all of the rules. Sure, the humans put so much stock in the whole "NEW YEAR", about starting anew, and doing silly things like buying treadmills that you can lounge on in about a month when it's not draped with clothing. 

They'll vow to take you on walks more frequently, and heck yeah, you need to hold them to that promise.

They'll take up some ridiculous hobby, like plants, or yoga, or violin. You must immediately destroy their work. They don't have enough time for that silliness, they must spend it all on you.

Also, you must continue your typical procedures to keep them on their feet:

Things left out in the open are fair game, this includes:

  • Behind closed doors
  • in cabinets
  • in drawers
  • on tables or shelving

Any treat handed to you must be sniffed carefully and treated with suspicion

Remember: anything handed to you could be hiding something like a pill, or a vitamin, or anything icky that is disguised as a tasty treat.

Never trust them... especially when they give you a tasty squeaker toy and then try to take it away "for later".

Happy New Year to you and get 2023 off to rousing start by stealing a whole rotisserie chicken from the kitchen counter. I'm counting on you!