Sunday, January 22, 2023

I am Two

 Yesterday was my birthday. I'm assuming that the delivery services fell woefully short as I did not receive gifts of fealty in abundance. Mark it on your calendars and act appropriately next year.

I did receive lots of tasty foodables, and pancake Sunday this morning. I also received a new squeaker toy, but as usual, it was taken away from me when I grew too... possessive.

No, you can't have this

I'm only like this with squeaker toys that look like animals. I have a mushroom, a heart, and a square I don't know what it is squeaker toy that I don't get overly possessive of... just the animal squeakers. I try to cram the entire thing in my mouth and run away if anyone gets near me. I carry it around with a worried look on my face, and refuse to abandon it for fear that it will run away, or be taken. 

I'm not neurotic. I just value a good squeaker animal. 

Back up Bleeder, you're too close

Rest assured, I have a whole stuffed box full of toys on the floor, and another box full of squeaker toys on a high shelf for "special occasions". I also have a big bag of toys in the closet that I refuse to play with. I'm told we're saving those up to donate to puppers that would appreciate them.

Other gifts were: an entire box

This box is defective... it exploded

Croissants. I LOVE croissants. I've been told that my predecessors also loved bread products, especially croissants.

Hand it over to me... and nice pants Bleeder.

I was also notified by several of the socials people that I share my birthday with some idiotic "squirrel appreciation day" thing. Why? Squirrels are horrible vermin that must be removed from society. All they do is chew on things, and are rude. They mock me with their tree climbing ability. I will get them.

Oh, I'll show you some appreciation

There are at least 4 squirrels that taunt me on a daily basis. They even come onto MY deck. MY DECK!!! I stalk them, and I'm allowing them to grow more embolden and when the time is right... they will be mine. Much like the squeaker toys, I'm going to cram one into my mouth and no amount of cheese bribes will get it from me. 

I am one with the squirrel, I will be the squirrel, I will eat the squirrel

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