I’m sorry, but I’m much too busy playing in the small amount of snow to put any thought into blogging. I know that I probably won’t have much time before it all turns to mud, or freezing into an ice skating rink, so I have to go out and lay in it, eat it, play in it, smash the suckup mutatoe’s head in it while I can.
I’ll be back tomorrow when its all gone, but until then... I’m playing in the snow.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Saturday, February 16, 2008
7 Weird Things
Ok, Thor or Lita tagged me and I’m suppose to post 7 weird things about me.
Hmm, this is most difficult, as everything I do is well thought out, and with a purpose, but I suppose it may sound weird to all humans, and some dogs (huskies all know the ulterior motive behind our concepts, so there’s no reason to explain them).
Ok, lets see:
1.) Eating Kleenex - While some would think that eating kleenex was weird, especially used kleenex, it is actually part of the master plan to take over the world. First of all, without opposable thumbs it is impossible to wipe our delicate little po-pos after we poo. By eating kleenex we not only get the required fiber in our diets, but we also wipe ourselves from the inside out, making sure our intestinal tracts are squeeky clean. The eating of used kleenex stems from the alien invasion of 1938, which was broadcast on the radio. Although the humans cleverly covered up that attempted invasion by strange beings from outer space by saying it was just a radio program, it actually did happen, and the aliens were thwarted by the icky germs that the humans have and they had no immunity to. Well, by eating the used kleenex of the humans, we huskies are ensuring that the humans don’t try that stupid trick again where they contaminate our husky forces with human germs.
2.) Sitting on the human woman’s head - once again you may think that’s cute, charming, or endearing, but its all part of conditioning the human woman to get use to me sitting on her head and then one day... ok, I would never smother the human woman, but hey, look at the power I have. I could if I wanted to, but I know a good thing when I sit on it and frankly until we get dog manufacturers that stop putting tasty things in cans, we’ll need the humans and their thumbs to open or food.
Since I want to give the mutatoes some equal opportunity time (and since they are way more weird than I am) here are some weird things about the gimpies:
3.) Sam sits on everyone and everything. If its sitting on the floor, he’ll sit on it. If a human is sitting on the floor, he’ll sit on them. He also only poops on things like sticks or a leaf pile. He won’t poo unless there’s something to poo on.
4.) Loki loves to lay in leaf piles, but only after he pees on the leaf pile. He’s so disgusting.
5.) I refuse to have my back feet touched. Just don’t even try it, stop looking at them... stop it.
6.) Sam loves to rub against the shower curtain after the humans take their shower. Also, when the human man puts the gel stuff on his hair, Sam loves to rub himself on the human man’s head. I think he’s trying to get some of the gel so he can comb over that bald spot he has.
7.) The gimpy suck-up mutatoe gets all bent out of shape and cries when he can’t find the human woman, gets jealous if she pays attention to the rest of us, and throws tantrums if he can’t snuggle next to her. He’s such a weenie momma’s boy, I swear.
8.) (just because I couldn’t resist) Sam pees in mutatoe’s food bowl and laughs.
Now, in the spirit of tagging other people... if you are reading this, you’ve been tagged, because I’m lazy. I didn’t add that to my list because its not weird for me to be lazy. Being the queen of the world is tiring.
Meeshka
Hmm, this is most difficult, as everything I do is well thought out, and with a purpose, but I suppose it may sound weird to all humans, and some dogs (huskies all know the ulterior motive behind our concepts, so there’s no reason to explain them).
Ok, lets see:
1.) Eating Kleenex - While some would think that eating kleenex was weird, especially used kleenex, it is actually part of the master plan to take over the world. First of all, without opposable thumbs it is impossible to wipe our delicate little po-pos after we poo. By eating kleenex we not only get the required fiber in our diets, but we also wipe ourselves from the inside out, making sure our intestinal tracts are squeeky clean. The eating of used kleenex stems from the alien invasion of 1938, which was broadcast on the radio. Although the humans cleverly covered up that attempted invasion by strange beings from outer space by saying it was just a radio program, it actually did happen, and the aliens were thwarted by the icky germs that the humans have and they had no immunity to. Well, by eating the used kleenex of the humans, we huskies are ensuring that the humans don’t try that stupid trick again where they contaminate our husky forces with human germs.
2.) Sitting on the human woman’s head - once again you may think that’s cute, charming, or endearing, but its all part of conditioning the human woman to get use to me sitting on her head and then one day... ok, I would never smother the human woman, but hey, look at the power I have. I could if I wanted to, but I know a good thing when I sit on it and frankly until we get dog manufacturers that stop putting tasty things in cans, we’ll need the humans and their thumbs to open or food.
Since I want to give the mutatoes some equal opportunity time (and since they are way more weird than I am) here are some weird things about the gimpies:
3.) Sam sits on everyone and everything. If its sitting on the floor, he’ll sit on it. If a human is sitting on the floor, he’ll sit on them. He also only poops on things like sticks or a leaf pile. He won’t poo unless there’s something to poo on.
4.) Loki loves to lay in leaf piles, but only after he pees on the leaf pile. He’s so disgusting.
5.) I refuse to have my back feet touched. Just don’t even try it, stop looking at them... stop it.
6.) Sam loves to rub against the shower curtain after the humans take their shower. Also, when the human man puts the gel stuff on his hair, Sam loves to rub himself on the human man’s head. I think he’s trying to get some of the gel so he can comb over that bald spot he has.
7.) The gimpy suck-up mutatoe gets all bent out of shape and cries when he can’t find the human woman, gets jealous if she pays attention to the rest of us, and throws tantrums if he can’t snuggle next to her. He’s such a weenie momma’s boy, I swear.
8.) (just because I couldn’t resist) Sam pees in mutatoe’s food bowl and laughs.
Now, in the spirit of tagging other people... if you are reading this, you’ve been tagged, because I’m lazy. I didn’t add that to my list because its not weird for me to be lazy. Being the queen of the world is tiring.
Meeshka
Friday, February 15, 2008
Sickly Human Man
The human man is sickly. Last night they came home and he went straight to bed and he moaned a lot, and coughed and mumbled and called out for the human woman to bring him things.
Today has been a lot of the same, lots of sleeping, pathetic moaning, complaining, coughing and the like. According to the human woman, human men get WAAAAY more sicker than human woman do. Apparently there is some kind of gene in the human men that when they get sick, they actually revert to 3 year old little boys incapable of fending for themselves and requiring someone (typically human women) to wait on them hand and foot and prepare them soups and give them pills.
This is a very strange phenomena, as I’ve seen the human woman pretty sick, I know she’s very sick because she barely makes any noise when I jump on her, and yet she still seems to get out of the bed and feed us and feed the human man and do stuff to clean around the house.
There are two obvious conclusions to this:
1.) Human men are wimps
2.) Human women never really get sick
I’m not quite sure what the truth is behind this, so I’ll have to do more studying. I may actually get some good data tonight, because after spending a whole lot of time cooking lasagna, the human man actually looked into the bowl and complained that the noodles might scratch his sore throat. I’m going to see if the human man will actually get out of the bed (in which case he’s not as sick as he says he is) or will he just lay there as the human woman is smothering him with a pillow (in which case he truly is sick and the lasagna will be very tasty when it falls from his dead hands onto the floor where we can enjoy it).
Meeshka
Today has been a lot of the same, lots of sleeping, pathetic moaning, complaining, coughing and the like. According to the human woman, human men get WAAAAY more sicker than human woman do. Apparently there is some kind of gene in the human men that when they get sick, they actually revert to 3 year old little boys incapable of fending for themselves and requiring someone (typically human women) to wait on them hand and foot and prepare them soups and give them pills.
This is a very strange phenomena, as I’ve seen the human woman pretty sick, I know she’s very sick because she barely makes any noise when I jump on her, and yet she still seems to get out of the bed and feed us and feed the human man and do stuff to clean around the house.
There are two obvious conclusions to this:
1.) Human men are wimps
2.) Human women never really get sick
I’m not quite sure what the truth is behind this, so I’ll have to do more studying. I may actually get some good data tonight, because after spending a whole lot of time cooking lasagna, the human man actually looked into the bowl and complained that the noodles might scratch his sore throat. I’m going to see if the human man will actually get out of the bed (in which case he’s not as sick as he says he is) or will he just lay there as the human woman is smothering him with a pillow (in which case he truly is sick and the lasagna will be very tasty when it falls from his dead hands onto the floor where we can enjoy it).
Meeshka
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Another Award
Charlie graciously awarded me the Thinking Blogger Award because I make him think. 
I'm glad that I make all dogs think, because I know that a lot of dogs just care about napping, playing, eating, and pooping.
Ok, I admit that these are very important things in life, napping and eating being right on the top of that pile, but we also need to realize that the humans are here on this earth to do our bidding. We control the humans, not the other way around.
The humans want us to think that they own and control us, but who goes out to work every day
while we lay at home and nap? I don't see any dogs driving to the store to buy their food, oh no, we're at home licking ourselves while the humans waste their precious free time carting around bags of tastiness to the house.
Want a demonstration of your mighty power? Simply refuse to eat one day (yes I know its hard, but well worth it), lay around and refuse to play or wag your tail and watch your human totally freak out and try to entice you to play or eat tasty human foods. Oh yeah, we are mighty, we hold the power.
Ok, so there are some rules that go with this award (sigh)
The rules for the Thinking Award are...
1. You must write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Acknowledge this post.
3. Optional: Proudly display the Thinking Blogger Award with a link to the post that you wrote.
4. Go tell your humans to fork over the treats!
You should especially note item #4. Forking over treats is not optional.
Ok, blogs that make me think, hmmm.
Casper, Copper, Echo, Holly, and Team Husky
Now, being that I'm lazy, I'm not going to tell any of them of their award, as they should be reading my words of wisdom each and every day with rapt attention and will read that I have given them this award.
I am Meeshka, I am lazy.
I'm glad that I make all dogs think, because I know that a lot of dogs just care about napping, playing, eating, and pooping.
Ok, I admit that these are very important things in life, napping and eating being right on the top of that pile, but we also need to realize that the humans are here on this earth to do our bidding. We control the humans, not the other way around.
The humans want us to think that they own and control us, but who goes out to work every day
while we lay at home and nap? I don't see any dogs driving to the store to buy their food, oh no, we're at home licking ourselves while the humans waste their precious free time carting around bags of tastiness to the house.Want a demonstration of your mighty power? Simply refuse to eat one day (yes I know its hard, but well worth it), lay around and refuse to play or wag your tail and watch your human totally freak out and try to entice you to play or eat tasty human foods. Oh yeah, we are mighty, we hold the power.
Ok, so there are some rules that go with this award (sigh)
The rules for the Thinking Award are...
1. You must write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Acknowledge this post.
3. Optional: Proudly display the Thinking Blogger Award with a link to the post that you wrote.
4. Go tell your humans to fork over the treats!
You should especially note item #4. Forking over treats is not optional.
Ok, blogs that make me think, hmmm.
Casper, Copper, Echo, Holly, and Team Husky
Now, being that I'm lazy, I'm not going to tell any of them of their award, as they should be reading my words of wisdom each and every day with rapt attention and will read that I have given them this award.
I am Meeshka, I am lazy.
Friday, February 08, 2008
My Head Poof
The gimpy suck-up mutatoe tooth bonked me a few days ago right on the top of my head. That hurt, so I slammed his head into the ground, chased him around the yard, slammed him into the ground again for good measure.
For the past few days, the human woman has been petting my head, finding the tooth bonk spot and picking at it. Good lord, can't she just let things heal on their own, she's always gotta pick at things.
Tonight I was just sitting there, minding my own business, looking very fluffy and regal and she attacked me because the tooth bonk had scabbed and there was a tuft of loose hair. She HAD to the pluck the hair, just HAD to... except it was still attached to my skin! The more she picked at it, the more fluff came out and pretty soon I was worried that I'd have this big bald spot on the top of my head and I'd look like Sammy and I'd have to go into business with him developing the Hair Club for Huskies or something stupid.
She finally picked it off, then she had to show it to the human man, who wasn't that impressed (he apparently has SOME sense). I figured she was going to frame it or put it in an album or something, but she actually did throw it away. I did get to sniff it though.
Meeshka
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Why Aren't There Any Oysters In These Crackers
The human man purchased these tasty treats called “Oyster Crackers”, except there are no oysters in them. I guess you could say that they look sorta like oysters, but he says that they are called that because they are made specifically to put into oyster soup. Humans are very strange.
Regardless of what they are called, those crackers are very tasty, much more tastier than regular crackers because they come in a round, bite sized treat shape. I really like those crackers and I am incredibly peeved that the human man ISN’T SHARING ANY WITH ME! I sit there, first looking very cute, but nothing. I fluff up a bit and put a paw lightly on the arm of his chair. Look at me, I’m so adorable. Nothing. I make the “I want noise” (as soon as the human woman figures out the proper format to use to upload to youtube, which should take her all of a million years, I will show you the “I want noise”) and yet, no crackers. I give up and go claw the human woman, who tells me to go claw the human man, as she is not keeping of the tasty crackers and has no control over them. If she truly loved me, she’d get me some crackers.
Meeshka
Regardless of what they are called, those crackers are very tasty, much more tastier than regular crackers because they come in a round, bite sized treat shape. I really like those crackers and I am incredibly peeved that the human man ISN’T SHARING ANY WITH ME! I sit there, first looking very cute, but nothing. I fluff up a bit and put a paw lightly on the arm of his chair. Look at me, I’m so adorable. Nothing. I make the “I want noise” (as soon as the human woman figures out the proper format to use to upload to youtube, which should take her all of a million years, I will show you the “I want noise”) and yet, no crackers. I give up and go claw the human woman, who tells me to go claw the human man, as she is not keeping of the tasty crackers and has no control over them. If she truly loved me, she’d get me some crackers.
Meeshka
Thursday, January 31, 2008
The Comforts of Home
I prefer that the human woman wear white socks when I use her foot as a pillow. The white socks are much softer than the gray socks or the black socks, and I don’t like the anklet socks that she wears on occasion.
I like to lick the dirt outside, its tasty. This also explains how mud gets into the water bowl, although I blame it on the suck-up gimpy mutatoe.
I have no idea why the human got upset when I brought a mouthful of food into bed to snack on this morning, she brings food into bed and eats it, why can’t I?
I don’t expect to bang on the door and shriek more than once before being let inside, the human woman should be standing right there waiting for me to decide to come in and promptly open the door.
I would prefer that the human woman eat something right before bed as the sounds her stomach makes when its empty and when I use her for a pillow is very disturbing.
We know exactly where the human man’s sensitive spots are and yes, we do stomp on them on purpose even though we look all innocent and apologetic, we’re actually laughing on the inside at the funny noises he makes.
The reason we lay in a circle around the human woman when she’s on the computer is so we know when she’s getting up for a snack so we can try to steal it from her... its not because we like her company, we like her crumbs.
I like to lick the dirt outside, its tasty. This also explains how mud gets into the water bowl, although I blame it on the suck-up gimpy mutatoe.
I have no idea why the human got upset when I brought a mouthful of food into bed to snack on this morning, she brings food into bed and eats it, why can’t I?
I don’t expect to bang on the door and shriek more than once before being let inside, the human woman should be standing right there waiting for me to decide to come in and promptly open the door.
I would prefer that the human woman eat something right before bed as the sounds her stomach makes when its empty and when I use her for a pillow is very disturbing.
We know exactly where the human man’s sensitive spots are and yes, we do stomp on them on purpose even though we look all innocent and apologetic, we’re actually laughing on the inside at the funny noises he makes.
The reason we lay in a circle around the human woman when she’s on the computer is so we know when she’s getting up for a snack so we can try to steal it from her... its not because we like her company, we like her crumbs.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Claws Action Lawsuit
Just to get a general feel, how many of you pups out there were told that you would get very specific weather by a weather person, but then that weather never showed up? How many times must we be lied to over and over again that there will be snow, or rain, or a lot of snow, or even a flake and then NOTHING???
I mean seriously, these people go on the tv and they just lie and lie and lie again, they smile and lie, they do funny things and lie, they show you a map with cartoon snow on it and lie and yet they get to keep their jobs.
As soon as I’m queen of the earth, I will be rounding up every weather person that ever showed up on tv (yes, that also means Willard Scott) and I’m going to put them into the room of torture. We’ll tell them “oh yes, we’ll feed you today” and then we won’t. We’ll then tell them that there is a 30% chance that we’ll feed them that day, and then we won’t. We’ll sent out bulletins that warn them that food is coming... and then we won’t feed them. Lets see if they think this is funny.
In the meantime, I say we start a Claws Action Lawsuit to make weather people accountable for the weather. If they say its going to rain and it doesn’t, they should not only be fired, but thrown onto the street and run over by angry people that wanted rain, or something like that. They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this shoddy work.
Meeshka
(snowless in Merryland still)
I mean seriously, these people go on the tv and they just lie and lie and lie again, they smile and lie, they do funny things and lie, they show you a map with cartoon snow on it and lie and yet they get to keep their jobs.
As soon as I’m queen of the earth, I will be rounding up every weather person that ever showed up on tv (yes, that also means Willard Scott) and I’m going to put them into the room of torture. We’ll tell them “oh yes, we’ll feed you today” and then we won’t. We’ll then tell them that there is a 30% chance that we’ll feed them that day, and then we won’t. We’ll sent out bulletins that warn them that food is coming... and then we won’t feed them. Lets see if they think this is funny.
In the meantime, I say we start a Claws Action Lawsuit to make weather people accountable for the weather. If they say its going to rain and it doesn’t, they should not only be fired, but thrown onto the street and run over by angry people that wanted rain, or something like that. They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this shoddy work.
Meeshka
(snowless in Merryland still)
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Awards
I’m still trying to catch up on all the wonderful awards that have been given to me this past week or so. I’m so honored to be given these awards, and its very important to me to pass them on to deserving pups. What with the human woman recuperating from her spay, its been difficult for me to get on the computer, so I beg your forgiveness for not reciprocating quickly. Its not that I don’t appreciate the award, I most certainly do, its just that I’m burdened with a whiney human woman at the moment.
Without further ado, I just wanted to thank the A04 for their “Best Friends” award. The A04 and I had been passing intelligence reports back and forth a long time prior to our blogging relationship. My human woman and their human woman share a scary, almost psychopathic bond of purchasing the same items. We feel that somehow they live a dual life and this would also explain their half brain mentality and klutziness.
Anyhoo, it took a lot of thinking for who I should pass this wonderful award on to, and here is my list:
Indy, Dusty Doodles, Holly, and Opy
Thank you for being my friends all this time, and to those that didn’t make the list, it was purely out of laziness on my part. Linking does take a lot of thought and then there’s that whole gotta notify you thing, so you are all my best friends.
Meeshka
Without further ado, I just wanted to thank the A04 for their “Best Friends” award. The A04 and I had been passing intelligence reports back and forth a long time prior to our blogging relationship. My human woman and their human woman share a scary, almost psychopathic bond of purchasing the same items. We feel that somehow they live a dual life and this would also explain their half brain mentality and klutziness.
Anyhoo, it took a lot of thinking for who I should pass this wonderful award on to, and here is my list:
Indy, Dusty Doodles, Holly, and Opy
Thank you for being my friends all this time, and to those that didn’t make the list, it was purely out of laziness on my part. Linking does take a lot of thought and then there’s that whole gotta notify you thing, so you are all my best friends.
Meeshka
Saturday, January 26, 2008
101 Uses for the Human Woman
Now that she’s just pet quality (and I truly think its a bit pathetic that she still claims to be show quality and breed standard), it seems like I need to find her something to do in life other than sit around and wait on me hand and foot.
I mean, you hear it all the time, how they get bored and destructive, you have to give them things to do to make them feel like they are useful. I certainly don’t need her destroying the comfy carpet and putting in hardwood flooring or something insane like that. She may even try her hand at painting again, and I’m not going to sit around and listen to the human man complain about the gawd-awful colors she picks out (sand? Who paints a room the color of sand?)
At one point she tried crocheting and that was a nightmare. First it was a sweater, then she said it was a table cover, then it was a couch cover, then she said it would be a nice truck cover, soon it was taking up most of the room downstairs and she wouldn’t stop, and we thought for sure she would be using it to cover the entire outside of the house, perhaps even use it for a football field cover.
I certainly don’t need her taking up any hobbies that involve me, say for instance dragging me to go meet some stinky old people in some home or something. Its really no fun clawing the old and frankly I’m a husky, I’m not there to amuse old people or sick kids or any of that. Hook me up to a wheelchair and let me drag them down some stairs, yeah, that’s a hoot, but be nice and give them a paw without drawing blood, I don’t think so.
Speaking of hooking me up, I’m really NOT into dragging a sled or cart around. I’m not a tow truck, I’m a fluffy husky that should be admired and petted and given tasty things to eat. I don’t know where the world got the impression that pulling stuff was in my genes because I can assure you these genes don’t do that.
So, I need a hobby for the human woman. Something that doesn’t take up too much time because she still has to work and make money, then come home and wait on me hand and foot. Something that takes up very little of her time and keeps her at home but not doing things that disrupt my comfortable world here. If you have any suggestions, let me know.
Meeshka
(Try not to suggest anything that has to do with sharp objects, remember, she’s inept)
I mean, you hear it all the time, how they get bored and destructive, you have to give them things to do to make them feel like they are useful. I certainly don’t need her destroying the comfy carpet and putting in hardwood flooring or something insane like that. She may even try her hand at painting again, and I’m not going to sit around and listen to the human man complain about the gawd-awful colors she picks out (sand? Who paints a room the color of sand?)
At one point she tried crocheting and that was a nightmare. First it was a sweater, then she said it was a table cover, then it was a couch cover, then she said it would be a nice truck cover, soon it was taking up most of the room downstairs and she wouldn’t stop, and we thought for sure she would be using it to cover the entire outside of the house, perhaps even use it for a football field cover.
I certainly don’t need her taking up any hobbies that involve me, say for instance dragging me to go meet some stinky old people in some home or something. Its really no fun clawing the old and frankly I’m a husky, I’m not there to amuse old people or sick kids or any of that. Hook me up to a wheelchair and let me drag them down some stairs, yeah, that’s a hoot, but be nice and give them a paw without drawing blood, I don’t think so.
Speaking of hooking me up, I’m really NOT into dragging a sled or cart around. I’m not a tow truck, I’m a fluffy husky that should be admired and petted and given tasty things to eat. I don’t know where the world got the impression that pulling stuff was in my genes because I can assure you these genes don’t do that.
So, I need a hobby for the human woman. Something that doesn’t take up too much time because she still has to work and make money, then come home and wait on me hand and foot. Something that takes up very little of her time and keeps her at home but not doing things that disrupt my comfortable world here. If you have any suggestions, let me know.
Meeshka
(Try not to suggest anything that has to do with sharp objects, remember, she’s inept)
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