Woo is Me

I guess you must be wondering why I haven't made the call for everyone's "Uncle Jack Armageddon/Celebrity Death Ghoul Pool" guesses... sigh.

For reasons yet to be explained to us, Uncle Jack will not be visiting us this year.

I know.

Seriously, I know.

I'll wait until you're done howling with abject sadness.

Uncle Jack has visited us every year since I was a wee little fluffy puppy, and frankly I have no idea what we're going to do with ourselves this year.  Oh sure, the humans are still taking the time off and all, but still, there won't be any of this:

No waiting for Uncle Jack to wake up (or for the door to mysteriously open that allows us to jump and stomp on Uncle Jack)

And yes... no Celebrity Ghoul Pool! 

For those of you who aren't a regular reader (shame on you) every time Uncle Jack visits, a famous celebrity dies.  I'm still not sure my friends in Australia (Huffle, Opy) have ever forgiven him for killing off Steve Irwin.

Uncle Jack also brings along some sort of horrific natural catastrophe (Katrina is one fine example), and something in the human house usually breaks (attic fan, telephones).

I'm not sure if the earth has been notified that Uncle Jack won't be visiting (there's two hurricanes approaching the East Coast)... hmmm.  Perhaps we should hold the ghoul pool and the natural catastrophe pool, and the what will break at the human's house pool.  Maybe all these years it really wasn't Uncle Jack... maybe the HUMANS are the cause!

Regardless, we'll miss you Uncle Jack.  Wish you could visit this year, but we understand.  We'll just save up the claw for next year.

Meeshka

P.S.  We haven't told Spineless Bionic hip/knee puppy Sam that Uncle Jack isn't visiting.  We're seeing how long he stares out the window.  For all we know, he's staring at a bug.

Wordless Wednesday

The human woman's reaction that Bear-Bear's shooter only got 2 misdemeanors... well, better than nothing.

More thoughts on this on trenchant thursday.

Meeshka

Ode to Justice

I want a raise

Its food time, and I want food.  What do I get?  I get this crap:

I mean, good GAH!  How much do I have to put up with before I get out the claw!

Meeshka

Sharing

Its time to revisit the concept of "sharing" again.  I'm pretty sure that in past posts I've made it very clear that:

1. What's mine is mine
2. What yours is also mine
3. If you refuse to give me what it is yours, I will take it
4. Taking things typically involves shedding your blood, so its just easier to hand it to me and don't make me ask for it.

Case in point, the other day, the Mutatoe caught a small woodland creature.  Normally he'll catch it, I'll ask for it, he'll give it (because he knows what happens if he doesn't) and I'm happy... but not this time.

Before I could officially ask him for it, the human woman came outside, saw us in conference, yelled at us, grabbed a plastic bag, and started her run out to us.  Typically this ends with the Mutatoe spewing the tasty, dead thing out for the human woman (because he's such a suck up mamby pamby momma's boy), and the tasty dead thing gets tossed over the fence.

I didn't know whether to be proud or angry when he chewed and swallowed it.  On one hand, there's the defiance of not kowtowing to the human woman and relinquishing the delicacy... but then there's this whole "I didn't get mine" thing.  It looked pretty tasty too.  Just to be on the safe side, I threw him to the ground and stomped on him, just so he's clear that the procedure should have been: ptooey dead thing toward me so that I can snatch it up and swallow it.

He's useless.

Meeshka

Shameless Plug

Ok, I had such a large response to my non-trip the other day, that I bring to you:

Get yours here, while the supplies last!

Meeshka

Pupdate

I will refrain from complaining about this horrendous heat here in Merryland... ITS HOT!!! The human woman says that its payback from all of the lovely floofy snow we had this winter when I had my very own Mt. Queen Meeshka snow pile. PFFFT I tell her, then I claw her.

On top of the heat, we've had HORRIBLY LOUD thunderstorms, mainly at night. I've had to claw the human woman out of bed a few nights in the row. She's been curling up downstairs on the couch, but no matter how much I claw, the human man refuses to come downstairs with us. I did manage to claw him down last night, but he just put the gate up and went back to bed. I need to revise my strategy for next time.

So... after putting the stinky cooling bed in MY spot of the bedroom right next to MY air conditioner vent, the human woman FINALLY got the hint that I wasn't going to lay on it and FINALLY moved the stupid thing. She put it out of the way somewhere so they wouldn't step on it... and... well...

It is pretty comfy and cool, and situated nicely right by my spare air conditioner vent so a can stretch out my feety feet to keep them nice and cool. The human woman caught me, then started making a high pitched keening noise. I'm never sure what that's suppose to mean but if she keeps pulling her hair out in clumps, she's going to look sillier than she already does.

So, this week I kept hearing the humans mentioning something about "going" somewhere. I knew that they were planning on taking me to the Dogs With Blogs trip in New York City (where they make salsa) where I could finally meet Brooke and Greg and get to sniff all of the good pee mail that Benson and Opy had sent me. I also had a message from the Mutatoe and the Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam for the humans on the loss of their sweet Charlie.

So, on Friday, when the humans started spelling things like LEASH, and CAR, I knew it was time to go. I got myself all floofy and sharpened my dainty little feety feet claws for my formal greeting, and pranced around all happy.

Like clockwork, the harness came out, the leash came out, I got to go out and HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL ITS HOT OUT THERE!!! The front yard seems waaaay much hotter than the back yard, and of all things, my private chauffeur didn't even cool the interior of the personal Queenly RAV vehicle for me! I really need to find better help.

Off we went to New York... except we started heading in a more sourthernly and westernly direction than where New York is located and ....

SONOFA....

I was at the VET! I was FURIOUS! No cavier, no 4-star hotel, no room service? No massage, no champagne, and certainly no fun with the Dogs with Blogs gang.

On top of getting pulled and poked and prodded and jabbed with needles... THEY TRIMMED MY SHARP TALONS!!!! There was nothing I could do, I was simply overwhelmed and they even put a muzzle on me... ON ME!!!!

Oh the woomanity!

Once I was done, I had to poo from all of the trauma AND THEY STOLE THAT FROM ME TOO!!!

Back in the hot Queenly RAV again and THIS time I was sure we were off to New York, the lights, the sounds, the broadway shows... I just needed all of my shots and stuff for travel across state lines, I was sure of it.

Until we pulled up at the house again. Seriously? That's it?

So, to all of the wonderful Dogs with Blogs humans and pups that made it to New York... sorry I couldn't be there. My humans are so lame.

Meeshka
(Cultivating more sharp nails)

Odds and Ends that aren't really odd, nor the end

Woo everypup, Its me.

Yes, yes, I know, long time no woo again, but seriously, the heat has kept me on the air vent, so I just oozed off to let everypup know of the fantastic article on Turbo!

Go here and get the links, its very cool... but not as cool as my air vent, which I'm running back to now.

Meeshka

Another Product you won't see from Meeshko

I'm sure you've all seen that annoying commercial where humans buy some stupid product called "Bark Off".  (hint for humans: how many times will you get screwed over buying something from the tv when you can wait and get it at most drugstores only to find its a piece of doo doo?... just asking).

The premise is that a human gets a dog, but doesn't like its barking.  This is sorta like a human having a baby and not liking its non-stop screaming... don't see any ads for "Baby Off" do you?  Nooooo.

My human woman muttered something about getting one for the constant Mutatoe yapping.  Despite being a husky (the jury is really still out on that actually) he's got the MOST ANNOYING girly scream yap when he:
1.) wants something
2.) wants to be taken out
3.) can't find the human woman
4.) just because

Frankly, I'd dig into my savings account to make that racket stop, especially when he's doing it, and pawing at me with the spongy mutatoe claw to get me to chase him.  Oh yeah, there's gonna be chasing, but I can guarantee you it won't be fun.

Anyhoo, the problem with the human woman getting one of these is that, well, they're stupid and a waste of money that should be used to buy me more cookies.

I think I did convince her not to get the stupid thing, except she said that she had an even better invention that should would be.  Something called the Meeshk-off.

I have no idea what she means by this.

Meeshka

The Proper Way to Wake the Human Woman

The Human Woman is getting lazier and lazier lately.  She hasn't been getting out of bed promptly at 5am to feed us breakfast.  No amount of wooing or clawing seems to work any more.

The Mutatoe came up with a sure-fire way though:

You should have seen her move.

Meeshka

The Leash

This morning the Mutatoe got the 2nd of the 3 fledglings in the deck nest.  The human woman has decided that at least one of the tasty snacks has to make it out of the nest, so she's getting the collar and leash out and only taking us out hooked up to her.  This is ridiculous. 

First of all, she has no idea where my favorite pee spots are, and she keeps trying to lead me over to where the Mutatoe pee spots are... euw, not going there.

Secondly, if the leash comes out, that means going someplace fun, and the back yard is not fun, especially on a leash where we can't chase little fragile squeeky birds that can't fly.

I am NOT amused.