And Now We Wait

 Happy Sunday everyone,

There was no pancake Sunday today (although I did have some bites of hash browns) because the humans are on battle stations, all eyes on me, seizure count down.

In case you haven't read my other posts (shame... shame), it is the medical opinion of my humans and my neurosurgeon that heartworm medication triggers my seizures. That's why I'm on a seizure preventative medication (the Lee pill, or as the humans now call it: pew pew... my humans are ridiculous and actually sing a pew pew song when they gather up the pills and treats before pilling me... this is unnecessary because I'll literally do anything for a treat).

I digress... 

I'll be taking anti-seizure meds until it's cold enough to kill the vile mosquitos, at which time I'll be tapered off the pew pews, and won't take heartworm preventative until mosquito season again, at which point, back on the seizure meds. This is also why the humans are looking at relocating to Antarctica. 

I digress again.

Yesterday I had my heartworm pills. Since I am a svelte 64 pounds, I was prescribed a dose for dogs 50 to 100 lbs. In order to limit the amount of neurotoxins I'm receiving, we consulted with the makers of Heartgard, and my vet and changed my dose to 1 pill for up to 25lbs, and 1 pill for up to 50lbs, which means I'm getting A LOT LESS neurotoxins, but still covered on the heartworm front.

I know this is very complicated and requires maths, but the humans are doing everything possible to keep me from having another seizure and are totally freaked out about whether it will happen this time... which means that immediately after I took all of my pills... I got my head stuck in the deck railing, ate an unauthorized bug, fell up the stairs, got a tug rope string caught in my front teeth, and ran into a wall.

They claim I do all of this just for the attention and to drive them to early graves. Some of that may be true.

In the meantime, I assure you that I am as devious, playful, and annoying as ever, especially because I know they are worried and will give me just about anything I ask... go in, go out, go in, go out, play with me, I don't want to play, why did you leave I want to play, please allow me to put my full weight on your broken big toe, excuse me Bleeder, you aren't wearing band-aids, let me take care of that for you.

They took away my tug ropes (due to the tug string in tooth incident) but now I have no way to vent my frustrations and rip their arms out of their sockets. This means I have to destroy my hedgehog named Jeremy.

Fishy went to the great fish farm in the sky

Wally Gator still lives, Mr. Buttons the bear only has stuffing in his head, but I want to tug and pull on things. 

Gator goes better with paper packing

Unfortunately my Amazon order of new things to tug that don't require ropes won't arrive until tomorrow, so Bleeder pulled down the secondary goat for me to attack.

I've already dislodged a hoof so it's a matter of time before it goes to the farm.

Once I get my new tug toys I'll be sure to rate them all for you, and let you know how long they last. I'm not optimistic about liking them because there's nothing quite like the taste and feel of rope... or stuffed squeaker toy guts.

I'll let you know about the whole seizure crap. Typically 3-7 days after... I'm going to see if I can guilt the humans into getting me a pony.