Showing posts with label frankie woo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frankie woo. Show all posts

Friday, July 25, 2008

The puppyhood of the traveling spineless bionic hip pupp

As you may recall, Spineless Bionic Hip Puppy Sam has met someone online. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking: how do you know this isn't somedog POSING as a stunning all white husky with deep blue eyes and is really a cat or worse... a squirrel looking for revenge?

Here is the hussy in question: Frankie Look at her shamelessly exposing her fluffy underbelly with that "come hither" look. She sent Sammy a nearly pornographic picture of herself lounging on the couch. She's shacked up with another guy at the moment, and yet all I hear is how much he wants to go see her and frolic on the West Coast with her. Go out for puppacino and walk along the beach. Ick.

To shut him up, I tried convincing him that a nice white truck would come pick him up if he was inside a box on the curb, but I miscalculated the stupid human calendar and put him on the curb on the one day that they don't pick up the recycling stuff. He was a bit mad about laying in the sun in a box all day, and I thought for sure he'd give up his quest to make it to the West Coast (he thinks its only a mile down the road, as Sam is geographically challenged and thinks that California and Arizona are near Washington... D.C.)

So, we're going to try this now. If you only knew how much of a hassle it is to get a cannon delivered to a back yard without the Secret Service and Homeland Security snooping in your business. The lengths I go to!

By the way, if you haven't stopped by the Kapp Pack and Steve, Kat, and Wilbur's blog to pledge money for their blogathon that starts tomorrow, you best get your fluffiness over there and do it now. You may even see a special guest blog entry from yours truly, but I'm not gonna do it for free, you have to pledge some human money!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thwarted!

I'm just a bit angry right now and you won't like it when I get angry because I'll... I'll do something.

That stupid Meeshka, she said she would help me go see my new girlfriend Frankie woo!

Frankie says she has peaches and other fun things for me to share with her, and since that selfish fluffy Meeshka never shares anything with me, I wanted to go where my charm and good looks would be appreciated. I was very surprised when Meeshka offered to help me get to see my sweet cloud puppy, but I thought it was because she just wanted to get rid of me so she would get more oyster crackers.

How was I to know that when she said that delivery people stop by twice a week to pick up boxes that she actually meant the trash people! I sat in that box all morning, then afternoon, then the "delivery people" came and picked up the box I woo'd and even peed a bit with excitement, and they threw the box back on the ground (which hurt) and said they can't take me because recycling isn't picked up on Thursday. Stupid human schedule! I thought for sure I was going to go see my Frankie woo, but now I'm stuck here.

Stupid Meeshka!

Sam
(and I DO HAVE A BIONIC HIP!!!!)