All Hail Queen Meeshka,
My name is Kane, nice huh? It is a most devious name for a most devious Husky. I am nine weeks old right now and live in Sunny Southern California....
I know huh? Wheres the snow..... I have not been in this world for very long but I can already tell that they humans feel they are far superior to us Huskies, what with all their opening of cans, driving cars and the like. You know, if we had opposeable thumbs, we could do the same things.
As I was saying, I live in Southern California where there is no snow. When I was born all I could think about was the snow, but upon opening my eyes I could not find it. Apparently the human woman they call a breeder kept it all to herself in the big white box where all the cold food is. I had to have it! I planned and plotted for hours before deciding to sleep on it and take a nap. When I woke up, I knew I had to get in there and get some snow of my own. When the human woman wasnt looking I pounced! But I guess its not really snow in there, but just really cold, hard water... This was the last straw. I'm outa here. So I went through the process and found myself a nice human man that I was willing to allow to bask in my regal presence and wait on me hand and foot. Plus he said they get snow! Well maybe 1 time a year, but its better than nothing. That is, until we find a way to rid ourselves of these humans.
When I got to the human mans house I found that they have several computers handy. Apparently they knew I would want to use one and they gave me my own, though I let the human man use it from time to time. When they go to sleep I jump on and start plotting their overthrow. Whats nice is that they supplied me with this keyboard that has nice buttons that light up at night. This way until I can learn to type without looking, I can see the letters. They
are already bending to my will.
The other night while googling how to make a nuclear bomb that would not harm huskies I came across your site. I was shocked and amazed to find that there is a group of people out there who are so much like myself in their mindset. While reading through I found that you were inducting new members periodically and expanding your ever powerful army.
I would like to join my services to yours.
Some things I have done in my short time here:
1. Demonstrate disruptive behaviour:
Since I am so small (and cute) it is known that you cannot expect me to hold it for anything longer than 20 minutes or so. However I have purposely forced myself to hold it as long as possible, then at the most in-opportune time whine so I dont have to go in the small cage they put me in. Usually I do this right after the human man lies down to sleep. I then procede every hour and a half for the remainder of the night. Once 5am comes I will not go back to sleep at
all and force the humans to play with me.
2. Cause the Humans to Freak Out for no reason:
There are a couple of little human puppies running around here. Well, one runs the other walks like me on all fours, however he is trying to be like the bigger bi-peds. When he stands up I quickly take a bow, woo, and then pounce. The pup lets out a wail so loud the humans come running, thinking he has been mortally wounded.
3. Destroy Things?:
Are you kidding me.... Seriously.... I have sharp teeth that can cut through just about anything and evil talons! Since I dont know what alot of things are, it is hard to ascertain the true value of an object so I cannot efficient destroy important and prescious things. So I take it one at a time. Trees, flowers, tables and even the human pups cower when I come in the room. This one time I found this really strange looking egg. It was brown, with a rope attached to it and
had the lettering NFL on it. It gave me a look that I did not appreciated so I did a quick karate chop, locked my jaws around it and shook it back and forth until it finally gave in with a pathetic squeak.
4. Human Behaviour Modification:
Since arriving at this new place the humans have done everything my way. They take me out when I woo, clean up after me when I am being devious and don't woo for them, feed me whenever I want and even started trying to work out so they are in better shape when I get older. Apparently the human man was told that Huskies like to run, DUH!, and he went out and bought a treadmill so he can get himself ready to make futile attempts to chase me down when I get out of the yard or when going for walks.
5. Love of Kleenex:
And the box it comes in. The human woman here apparently sneezes alot, so she keeps a fresh box of kleenex near her at all times. Well that was until I quietly took it all out and hid it about the house. Well not so much hidden, but out in the open. Who looks for things right in the open anyways right...
Well, all this typing is making me sleepy again. I guess its time to take another nap.
Your humble servant,
P.S - I have my own myspace page and found there are a few Husky groups on there. We should spread the word about HULA there and reach an even bigger audience.
Here is the link http://www.myspace.com/kanethehusky
Welcome to the HULA Hoop.