Where Have We Been

Yes, yes, I know, I know.

Sometimes things just get so out of hand, and wacky, and loopy, and then you have to rely on humans to do your typing and who can depend on that???

We are all still here... no need to freak out.

Some of us are more creakier, ok, who am I fooling, we're all getting older and we're all creaky in our own special ways.

Sam has had more issues than Mutatoe and I... because he's the most expensive bionic hip/knee spineless and now nose bleedy husky in the history of huskies.  He has taken freaking out the humans to all new levels that I don't think any husky has ever accomplished.  But he's still hanging around and reaping the benefits of gimpyism to it's fullest.

More on that later.

Mutatoe and I are on drugs.  Yes, you heard that right.  After a particularly nasty string of thunderstorms and THEN the upcoming Independence Day tomfoolery, the Humans gave up and begged our vet for drugs.  Real drugs.  Good drugs.

In case you can't be bothered to go back and find out what happens when it storms or fireworks are set off...

I leap up (usually from a sound sleep) and pee on the nearest dog bed (whether its occupied or not)

Then I frantically pace, pant, and claw.

They tried the Thundershirt

Didn't work.

They tried:
Rescue Remedy
Calming caramel things
calming biscuit things (of many varieties)
Benedryl
Melatonin
D.A.P.
Desensitizing
Loud music
Safe spaces
Open spaces
lights
noises
distractions
letting me go nuts

This

I kept getting worse and worse, more frantic, more stompy, more clawy, and more freaking out... y.  On top of that, the Mutatoe started getting more and more freaking outy as well.  I've never seen a dog drool as much as he can.  I can only imagine he stores all of that drool in his ample ass.

A phone call that involved begging and weeping later, the Humans left and returned with a bottle of pills.

Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about!  I like how it's the same thing forwards and backwards.

Anyway, a big storm was approaching and the Humans gave us all a tasty gooey treat and about 20 minutes later I started feeling lovely.  Very relaxed, very I don't care.  I took a nap.

When the first big boom of thunder hit, I automatically jumped up and peed on the first available dog bed, but then I was like "dude... got any snacks?"  The Human Woman took me downstairs and I got comfy on a dog bed and she fed me the most amazing jerky treats!  I've had them before, but for some reason THESE were very tasty!

A little later I felt sleepy, so I napped.

Mutatoe had the same reaction (except he doesn't pee on dog beds), but was so zoned out that he just lay in his crate and watched some imaginary butterflies dance around his head or something... he's weird.

After our naps a few hours later, we both felt very refreshed and absolutely frisky!

A few days later we got some treats and a bit later the fireworks started and lasted for 4 hours, but you know what?

Nope, we don't care

Didn't care.  I lay downstairs watching tv, Loki threw himself on our own personal couch and took a nap.

When the fireworks were over, we all went back upstairs and went to bed.  The next morning we both felt FABULOUS and frisky.

Oh yeah, this is so much better than freaking out, pacing, panting, stressing, getting all bent out of shape.  I don't know what these pills are, but they're great!

So, that's the latest news around here.  I'll tell you all about Sam's issues later, I promise.

Don't worry, I'm keeping a close eye on him, so he'll be fine.

Oh, and just to prove that everything is normal around here... Mutatoe got his ample ass kicked by the raised water bowl.

The Thundershirt

As some of you may know, the Human Woman finally went and purchased 2 thundershirts lately.  She only "needed" one for me, but since the Mutatoe has to do everything like me, she had to buy him one so he wouldn't feel left out and cry like a girly dog when he didn't have a pretty dress to wear... he's so embarrassing.

So... in review:

• I don't like storms or fireworks.  
• I pee in the house when it thunders or loud fireworks goes off (my little way of saying "screw you loud noises", 
• and then I pant and pace and claw the Human Woman bloody.

Its fun.  She doesn't think so.  She has no sense of humor and really REALLY thin skin that bleeds a LOT.

Anyhoo, she heard all of these wonderful things about the Thundershirt™ and watched the videos all slack jawed and amazed, and immediately ordered 2 and had them shipped jiffy quick because we had a lot of storms and she was low of plasma.

Meanwhile we had some doozy storms and chaos, mayhem and lots of clawing.  When she wasn't being clawed, she was hitting the refresh button on the tracking number for the package.

FINALLY the Thundershirts arrived and... no storms.  Nothing.  Weeks went by, and no storms. 

Frankly, I was fine with that and was satisfied that the Thundershirt did its work by warding off all of the evil storms in the world.  Job well done... bravo.

Then last night...

The humans had just settled into bed early (because they're getting old and senile) and we pups had done our usual bed rearranging and space shifting and I was laying on my cold air vent when...

boooom

I knew it was thunder because the humans were whispering and turned the tv up.  They try to fool me into believing its a jet, or loud car, or that vroomy motorcycle thing, but

BOOOOOM

Yep, no doubt about it, it was thunder, so I jumped on the bed and began clawing and panting, as usual.

That's when the Human Woman pulled out the Thundershirt, and I made a dash for my life.  No way was I wearing that thing again.  She put it on me when it first arrived and I humored her, let her take a picture of me, post it on Facebook (where she CLAIMS she has friends) and bragged about how easy it was to put on.

She chased me with that thing into the kitchen, I ran around the kitchen table, she followed.  We ran around the kitchen table about 10 times with me in the lead, just out of her reach.  She tried the soothing screechy voice thing, but I wasn't fooled.  She grabbed a handful of those very tasty calming caramel things that she got from the pet store to bribe me with.  They are very tasty, but she can only give me 3 of them (per the label) and frankly I think I should get about... the whole bag... very tasty.  After the 15th circle around the table, she gave up all pretenses and just started cursing and using the "when I get ahold of you" voice, and I finally dashed into the living room and was going to hop into my crate (which is home free and they can't touch us), but the bitch had closed and locked the doors!  She's evil.

I dashed into the corner hoping to throw her off, but she followed and trapped me, and then there was no escaping it until she dropped the caramels by mistake and then it was GAME ON!

She's right... it does calm and soothe me during storms.  I had to lay down from exhaustion after all of that running and then clawing her while she was trapped.

-Meeshka

New HULA Member: Kane

WOO WoO,

All Hail Queen Meeshka,

My name is Kane, nice huh? It is a most devious name for a most devious Husky. I am nine weeks old right now and live in Sunny Southern California....

I know huh? Wheres the snow..... I have not been in this world for very long but I can already tell that they humans feel they are far superior to us Huskies, what with all their opening of cans, driving cars and the like. You know, if we had opposeable thumbs, we could do the same things.

As I was saying, I live in Southern California where there is no snow. When I was born all I could think about was the snow, but upon opening my eyes I could not find it. Apparently the human woman they call a breeder kept it all to herself in the big white box where all the cold food is. I had to have it! I planned and plotted for hours before deciding to sleep on it and take a nap. When I woke up, I knew I had to get in there and get some snow of my own. When the human woman wasnt looking I pounced! But I guess its not really snow in there, but just really cold, hard water... This was the last straw. I'm outa here. So I went through the process and found myself a nice human man that I was willing to allow to bask in my regal presence and wait on me hand and foot. Plus he said they get snow! Well maybe 1 time a year, but its better than nothing. That is, until we find a way to rid ourselves of these humans.

When I got to the human mans house I found that they have several computers handy. Apparently they knew I would want to use one and they gave me my own, though I let the human man use it from time to time. When they go to sleep I jump on and start plotting their overthrow. Whats nice is that they supplied me with this keyboard that has nice buttons that light up at night. This way until I can learn to type without looking, I can see the letters. They
are already bending to my will.

The other night while googling how to make a nuclear bomb that would not harm huskies I came across your site. I was shocked and amazed to find that there is a group of people out there who are so much like myself in their mindset. While reading through I found that you were inducting new members periodically and expanding your ever powerful army.

I would like to join my services to yours.

Some things I have done in my short time here:

1. Demonstrate disruptive behaviour:
Since I am so small (and cute) it is known that you cannot expect me to hold it for anything longer than 20 minutes or so. However I have purposely forced myself to hold it as long as possible, then at the most in-opportune time whine so I dont have to go in the small cage they put me in. Usually I do this right after the human man lies down to sleep. I then procede every hour and a half for the remainder of the night. Once 5am comes I will not go back to sleep at
all and force the humans to play with me.

2. Cause the Humans to Freak Out for no reason:
There are a couple of little human puppies running around here. Well, one runs the other walks like me on all fours, however he is trying to be like the bigger bi-peds. When he stands up I quickly take a bow, woo, and then pounce. The pup lets out a wail so loud the humans come running, thinking he has been mortally wounded.

3. Destroy Things?:
Are you kidding me.... Seriously.... I have sharp teeth that can cut through just about anything and evil talons! Since I dont know what alot of things are, it is hard to ascertain the true value of an object so I cannot efficient destroy important and prescious things. So I take it one at a time. Trees, flowers, tables and even the human pups cower when I come in the room. This one time I found this really strange looking egg. It was brown, with a rope attached to it and
had the lettering NFL on it. It gave me a look that I did not appreciated so I did a quick karate chop, locked my jaws around it and shook it back and forth until it finally gave in with a pathetic squeak.

4. Human Behaviour Modification:
Since arriving at this new place the humans have done everything my way. They take me out when I woo, clean up after me when I am being devious and don't woo for them, feed me whenever I want and even started trying to work out so they are in better shape when I get older. Apparently the human man was told that Huskies like to run, DUH!, and he went out and bought a treadmill so he can get himself ready to make futile attempts to chase me down when I get out of the yard or when going for walks.

5. Love of Kleenex:
And the box it comes in. The human woman here apparently sneezes alot, so she keeps a fresh box of kleenex near her at all times. Well that was until I quietly took it all out and hid it about the house. Well not so much hidden, but out in the open. Who looks for things right in the open anyways right...

Well, all this typing is making me sleepy again. I guess its time to take another nap.

Your humble servant,

Kane

P.S - I have my own myspace page and found there are a few Husky groups on there. We should spread the word about HULA there and reach an even bigger audience.

Here is the link http://www.myspace.com/kanethehusky

--------------------------------

Kane,
Welcome to the HULA Hoop.

Meeshka

My not so excellent adventure

Ok, so yesterday morning it was business as usual, EXCEPT the human woman forgot to feed us!!! Can you believe that? She went about her usual business of getting ready for work and didn't even feed us. I couldn't believe it and I clawed her a few times to kick start that slow morning brain of hers, but no amount of clawing or coffee would get her to remember to put food in our bowls. This whole slavery to the opposable thumbs has to stop! I held out hope that the meager portion of goodies in my morning kong bone would sustain me until lunch.

Around the time that the humans normally give us kong bones, they herded the gimpies outdoors and got my harness and leash! Oh goody, we're going out for breakfast and the gimpies will just starve, I'm all for that. So I pranced and woo'd all cute and got my harness on while the Mutatoe was outside screaming like a banshee and beating on the back door. Hehe, starve Mutatoe, I'm going out for breakfast!

We got in the truck and off we went. I was thinking in my head all of the goodies that I would order. I've heard so much about scrambled eggs and bacon that I thought I'd try that as an appetizer and move on to the more substantial stuff.

We passed every food place there was, and no amount of woo'ing or stomping of my delicate little feet (or clawing) would get them to turn around. Instead, we turned into... THE VET PLACE! Ok, maybe they were serving breakfast there.

I went inside and got introduced to that stupid black lab stuffed dog that kicked the Mutatoe's ample ass. I didn't fool me at all (I have pictures to prove it if the human woman would get off her ample ass and download them). They put me on the scale and I'm still a svelte 70 lbs.

Another human came around and put something stupid around my neck that had my name written on it. Um, this collar is NOT bling at all, please remove it. But instead, the humans let this other human put another collar around my neck, took off my harness and then I was dragged, kicking and screaming (ok, they told me I'd get treats in the back room so I went willingly) into the back room. The humans left me. What is going on here?

I spent most of the day in a horrible little crate room thing, and there was no room service at all, even though I asked everyone that walked by to send me up some nice eggs and bacon. Finally they came to get me and I expected a lovely brunch, as it was getting late, but no, they stuck me in the leg with something and I fell asleep. I have no idea how long I was out, but when I woke up my mouth hurt and MY CLAWS WERE GONE!!!!

Oh, this is simply ridiculous! Sure my teeth needed cleaning but did they have to thwart my super-dog claw power?

No lunch, and finally the humans came to get me, I literally dragged the vet woman to the front room and begged the humans to take me home and feed me. I overheard them say something about waiting an hour after I got home before feeding me, and I just scoffed at that idea. I'd claw the human woman immediately upon entering the house and demand my food.

We got home and the gimpies sniffed me all over, annoyingly so, I ran out into the yard and took a poo because I really had to go, seriously, all day, nobody asked if I needed to go out. On top of not eating I had to hold it.

The human woman was walking around doing house stuff so I gave her a claw to remind her that hello, I'm hungry, give me food... nothing. Clawed again. Its like I'm a declawed cat or something, my claws have no power anymore! Didn't even leave a mark on her bare skin. This is horrible! She laughed at me!

An hour after I got home I got my meager portion of food, nothing special to welcome me home, or sympathy food. I got a pill shoved down my throat, no livergreat or nothing. After I ate, I was just too exhausted to argue any more, so I stalked off and went to bed. Stupid humans.

This morning I did get my pill in livergreat, so I forgive the human woman for that, but still, no claws. How will I rule the world without my claw of fear? Hmm, my teeth are nice and clean. So I dragged the human woman off her chair by the arm. Yeah, that will do until I can cultivate another set of razor sharp talons.

Thanks to Turbo for keeping the world under control while I was out of it, I'll take back the mantle of power again now. Of course until I get my weapons back, I'll lead by the power of very bright teeth.

Meeshka
(clawless, but still fluffy)

MAKE IT SNOW!

Weather People Suck

Decisions, Decisions