Today I happened to be checking the human woman's e-mail while she was out cleaning up some mess that Sam, Loki, or Nova made and what do I see??????
AN AD FROM PETSMART FOR THE FURMINATOR!!!!!
Can you belive that??? The whole world is conspiring to rob me of my fluffiness!!!!
The add says: Reduce pet shedding up to 90% it also says: "The stainless steel edge deShedding Tool does not cut hair, it just gently pulls out the fluffy undercoat, leaving the topcoat shiny and undamaged. Leaves coat shiny and shed-free."
Gently PULLS????? How about if I gently pull out your hair? Would you like that human woman???
AND WHAT IF I WANT TO KEEP MY FLUFFY UNDERCOAT?????
This is too much. I thought the Kong crack whiz treat that made every dog that tasted it into obediant robots that did whatever the humans told them to do was bad, but now they're designing comb things that rip out our fluffy undercoats! I NEED my fluffy undercoat to maintain maximum fluffability! How can I be cute and fluffy without my fluffy undercoat!!!!
I'll freeze to death in this crappy Maryland weather without my fluffy undercoat! Water will soak to my skin without my fluffy undercoat!
I will not be the cutest, fluffiest husky in the world without my fluffy undercoat!!!
I can only hope that all of the stupid humans that believe this slick marketing ploy will race out and buy them, so there's no more by the time the human woman hauls her lazy butt out of MY bed, gets dressed and goes out to get one!
Save me from the furminator! Sacrifice your own fluffy undercoat to save mine and tell your human to go buy one (then destroy it immediately).
Meeshka... who may not be fluffy for long
AN AD FROM PETSMART FOR THE FURMINATOR!!!!!
Can you belive that??? The whole world is conspiring to rob me of my fluffiness!!!!
The add says: Reduce pet shedding up to 90% it also says: "The stainless steel edge deShedding Tool does not cut hair, it just gently pulls out the fluffy undercoat, leaving the topcoat shiny and undamaged. Leaves coat shiny and shed-free."
Gently PULLS????? How about if I gently pull out your hair? Would you like that human woman???
AND WHAT IF I WANT TO KEEP MY FLUFFY UNDERCOAT?????
This is too much. I thought the Kong crack whiz treat that made every dog that tasted it into obediant robots that did whatever the humans told them to do was bad, but now they're designing comb things that rip out our fluffy undercoats! I NEED my fluffy undercoat to maintain maximum fluffability! How can I be cute and fluffy without my fluffy undercoat!!!!
I'll freeze to death in this crappy Maryland weather without my fluffy undercoat! Water will soak to my skin without my fluffy undercoat!
I will not be the cutest, fluffiest husky in the world without my fluffy undercoat!!!
I can only hope that all of the stupid humans that believe this slick marketing ploy will race out and buy them, so there's no more by the time the human woman hauls her lazy butt out of MY bed, gets dressed and goes out to get one!
Save me from the furminator! Sacrifice your own fluffy undercoat to save mine and tell your human to go buy one (then destroy it immediately).
Meeshka... who may not be fluffy for long
Oh no! Just the other day my human woman was reading about one of those things, too! Hopefully they are VERY expensive and she will decide it's not worth it. I want to keep my fluffyness too. This evil device could change all that! Meeshka, will you LIE about it (if it really is good) and tell everyone it's worthless, so if my human reads your next blog post, she'll give up on this idea?
ReplyDeleteWhile the human is asleep, try the Furminator on her head, and post her picture on the blog. It'll be funny to see her without her undercoat (of course, without you sitting on her head)
ReplyDelete