Where Have We Been

Yes, yes, I know, I know.

Sometimes things just get so out of hand, and wacky, and loopy, and then you have to rely on humans to do your typing and who can depend on that???

We are all still here... no need to freak out.

Some of us are more creakier, ok, who am I fooling, we're all getting older and we're all creaky in our own special ways.

Sam has had more issues than Mutatoe and I... because he's the most expensive bionic hip/knee spineless and now nose bleedy husky in the history of huskies.  He has taken freaking out the humans to all new levels that I don't think any husky has ever accomplished.  But he's still hanging around and reaping the benefits of gimpyism to it's fullest.

More on that later.

Mutatoe and I are on drugs.  Yes, you heard that right.  After a particularly nasty string of thunderstorms and THEN the upcoming Independence Day tomfoolery, the Humans gave up and begged our vet for drugs.  Real drugs.  Good drugs.

In case you can't be bothered to go back and find out what happens when it storms or fireworks are set off...

I leap up (usually from a sound sleep) and pee on the nearest dog bed (whether its occupied or not)

Then I frantically pace, pant, and claw.

They tried the Thundershirt

Didn't work.

They tried:
Rescue Remedy
Calming caramel things
calming biscuit things (of many varieties)
Benedryl
Melatonin
D.A.P.
Desensitizing
Loud music
Safe spaces
Open spaces
lights
noises
distractions
letting me go nuts

This

I kept getting worse and worse, more frantic, more stompy, more clawy, and more freaking out... y.  On top of that, the Mutatoe started getting more and more freaking outy as well.  I've never seen a dog drool as much as he can.  I can only imagine he stores all of that drool in his ample ass.

A phone call that involved begging and weeping later, the Humans left and returned with a bottle of pills.

Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about!  I like how it's the same thing forwards and backwards.

Anyway, a big storm was approaching and the Humans gave us all a tasty gooey treat and about 20 minutes later I started feeling lovely.  Very relaxed, very I don't care.  I took a nap.

When the first big boom of thunder hit, I automatically jumped up and peed on the first available dog bed, but then I was like "dude... got any snacks?"  The Human Woman took me downstairs and I got comfy on a dog bed and she fed me the most amazing jerky treats!  I've had them before, but for some reason THESE were very tasty!

A little later I felt sleepy, so I napped.

Mutatoe had the same reaction (except he doesn't pee on dog beds), but was so zoned out that he just lay in his crate and watched some imaginary butterflies dance around his head or something... he's weird.

After our naps a few hours later, we both felt very refreshed and absolutely frisky!

A few days later we got some treats and a bit later the fireworks started and lasted for 4 hours, but you know what?

Nope, we don't care

Didn't care.  I lay downstairs watching tv, Loki threw himself on our own personal couch and took a nap.

When the fireworks were over, we all went back upstairs and went to bed.  The next morning we both felt FABULOUS and frisky.

Oh yeah, this is so much better than freaking out, pacing, panting, stressing, getting all bent out of shape.  I don't know what these pills are, but they're great!

So, that's the latest news around here.  I'll tell you all about Sam's issues later, I promise.

Don't worry, I'm keeping a close eye on him, so he'll be fine.

Oh, and just to prove that everything is normal around here... Mutatoe got his ample ass kicked by the raised water bowl.

Happy New Year Now Shut Up and Go To Bed

My name is Meeshka, and I'm afraid of thunder and fireworks.

I didn't always have this phobia.  There's nothing that scared me, hurt me, or affected me in any way.  One day I was fine during thunderstorms, and the next time I wasn't.  I hate fireworks too.  I sleep through explosions on tv, even fireworks on tv, but not in real life.  I don't even flinch if there's a loud noise somewhere close, but fireworks and thunder, that's another story.

I pee.  Usually I try to pee on the Human's bed.  I think it's the fastest way to get their attention.  I also claw them.  I feel that they need to run around and do something, and clawing makes them run around.

I'll pee on my bed, I'll pee on the carpet, I don't care, thunder and fireworks makes me pee, but I refuse to go outside.

If I'm outside and fireworks or thunder goes off, I'll run inside and pee, just on principle.

Loki Mutatoe is afraid of fireworks and thunder too, but he just cowers under something.

They dress us up in garments called "Thundershirts" which they spray with DAP and they give us Melatonine (3mg) to "take the edge off" and then we go downstairs where the sounds are more muffled and they turn up the volume on the tv and play music.

We still pace and pant and pee and claw, but not as frantic.

We hate fireworks and thunder.

There's nothing we can do about the weather, but there is something we can do about people who shoot off fireworks (illegally in the state of Merryland I may add) and that's this:  KNOCK IT OFF!

Nobody enjoys fireworks... seriously, nobody!  Nobody enjoys fireworks when you randomly set it off on a non-holiday workday at random hours... or when you and your drunk buddies stay up until the wee hours of the morning and set it off... nobody enjoys that.  You are obnoxious and annoying and we all hate you, so stop it.

If you must set it off on New Years.... wait until freakin midnight and get it over with.  Don't be randomly setting it off at 8pm until midnight... you suck.  Oh, and may I add, it's ILLEGAL!

This has been your Husky Service Announcement for the end of 2014.  Let's make 2015 enjoyable for everyone by not setting off fireworks.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Peemageddon

It's the end of June, and we all know what that means...

Summer Thunderclaw storms and...

Idiot neighbors with illegal fireworks.

The humans are very good at making sure we are well secluded in the house on holidays where fireworks are likely... 4th of July, New Years, Groundhog's day, Saturday... ok, so apparently the stupid neighbors are indeed morons and shoot off fireworks at the drop of a hat, which makes it difficult to be ensconced downstairs with the tv blaring, music blaring, and tasty treats to keep our minds off of the mini-scale world war going on outside.

Even the weather idiots have been horrible with their prognostications of storms.  The other night there was a 0% chance (that's ZERO) of thunderclaw, and yet in the middle of the night, there came such a storm that rocked the very house from under us.

Before you go suggesting ideas for the Human Woman that will help us through these times, let's run through the gamut of failures, this way you won't waste your time (or mine, been there, done that, nothing short of electrocuting the neighbors or ... heaven forbid... one of their rocket mortars exploding in their hands... pleeeeeeze... pleeeeeze... will solve this issue).

 Thundershirt - There's a reason why they call me the "Gingerbread Shmoo"... ain't no way, no how, not ever will you put that silly thing on me.  Catch me if you can... nuh uh.

Rescue Remedy - HA!  That stuff is worthless to me.  Doesn't even put a dent in my anxiety... I could drink the whole bottle and skitter around the house for hours.

Melatonin - Takes the edge off, but only if the Human Woman gives it to me at the right time... and she hasn't figured out when the actual right time is... especially when out of the blue the neighbors light off enough missiles to take over a small third world country.

Benedryl - The Human Woman gave it to me once as a puppy and it had the opposite affect on me.  Since then, she is leery about trying that experiment again... since her scars are still visible and she's still in therapy with PTMD (Post Traumatic Meeshka Disorder).

So... the only real solution has been to herd us downstairs because it's a bit more sound proof down there, turn on everything that makes a noise, and wait it out... except for one thing... we must pee.

Yes, when scared, the bladder goes into protective mode... if my frantic clawing at the Human legs won't move them fast enough to put us downstairs, the only way to get across the severity of the matter is to pee... on the bed.  This typically gets them moving VERY fast.

Last night when the bombardment began, the Mutatoe took to his crate and cowered

I attempted to breach the bedroom to signal to the humans that we mustn't dilly or dally, we needed to evacuate downstairs immediately, but they blocked the bedroom and continued to tell me that it was ok.  It's not OK, someone is trying to bomb us, we need to move downstairs.

While I distracted the Human Woman by peeing in the living room, the Mutatoe scurried and managed to make it into the bedroom and onto the bed... at which point the Human Man tried to get him off the bed, freaking him out even more and causing a fountain of pee.

It was at this time that the dimwitted humans decided that we needed to immediately proceed to the emergency downstairs shelter... ok, so maybe it was after I peed in the bathroom...

Hey, I don't know what they're so freaked out about, they pee in there all the time.

I hate fireworks.

- Meeshka

The Thundershirt

As some of you may know, the Human Woman finally went and purchased 2 thundershirts lately.  She only "needed" one for me, but since the Mutatoe has to do everything like me, she had to buy him one so he wouldn't feel left out and cry like a girly dog when he didn't have a pretty dress to wear... he's so embarrassing.

So... in review:

• I don't like storms or fireworks.  
• I pee in the house when it thunders or loud fireworks goes off (my little way of saying "screw you loud noises", 
• and then I pant and pace and claw the Human Woman bloody.

Its fun.  She doesn't think so.  She has no sense of humor and really REALLY thin skin that bleeds a LOT.

Anyhoo, she heard all of these wonderful things about the Thundershirt™ and watched the videos all slack jawed and amazed, and immediately ordered 2 and had them shipped jiffy quick because we had a lot of storms and she was low of plasma.

Meanwhile we had some doozy storms and chaos, mayhem and lots of clawing.  When she wasn't being clawed, she was hitting the refresh button on the tracking number for the package.

FINALLY the Thundershirts arrived and... no storms.  Nothing.  Weeks went by, and no storms. 

Frankly, I was fine with that and was satisfied that the Thundershirt did its work by warding off all of the evil storms in the world.  Job well done... bravo.

Then last night...

The humans had just settled into bed early (because they're getting old and senile) and we pups had done our usual bed rearranging and space shifting and I was laying on my cold air vent when...

boooom

I knew it was thunder because the humans were whispering and turned the tv up.  They try to fool me into believing its a jet, or loud car, or that vroomy motorcycle thing, but

BOOOOOM

Yep, no doubt about it, it was thunder, so I jumped on the bed and began clawing and panting, as usual.

That's when the Human Woman pulled out the Thundershirt, and I made a dash for my life.  No way was I wearing that thing again.  She put it on me when it first arrived and I humored her, let her take a picture of me, post it on Facebook (where she CLAIMS she has friends) and bragged about how easy it was to put on.

She chased me with that thing into the kitchen, I ran around the kitchen table, she followed.  We ran around the kitchen table about 10 times with me in the lead, just out of her reach.  She tried the soothing screechy voice thing, but I wasn't fooled.  She grabbed a handful of those very tasty calming caramel things that she got from the pet store to bribe me with.  They are very tasty, but she can only give me 3 of them (per the label) and frankly I think I should get about... the whole bag... very tasty.  After the 15th circle around the table, she gave up all pretenses and just started cursing and using the "when I get ahold of you" voice, and I finally dashed into the living room and was going to hop into my crate (which is home free and they can't touch us), but the bitch had closed and locked the doors!  She's evil.

I dashed into the corner hoping to throw her off, but she followed and trapped me, and then there was no escaping it until she dropped the caramels by mistake and then it was GAME ON!

She's right... it does calm and soothe me during storms.  I had to lay down from exhaustion after all of that running and then clawing her while she was trapped.

-Meeshka