Ick, bland food.
The human woman ran to the vet (without taking a shower, I may add) because she was concerned about the Mutatoe's stomach issues and she brought back the bland food assortment for him. Of course, if HE'S on the bland food, then WE have to also be on the bland food. We only got a tiny meager portion of bland food too.
Um, excuse me? Cast iron stomach here, I can eat just about anything (except for those chicken jerky things, which gives me a case of the firehose diarrhea for some reason, go figure), and I certainly can't live on a tiny portion of bland food, I don't care if there was a tiny dollop of the bland canned food in there, it was barely enough to keep my stomach from growling.
I require a certain amount of calories and treats per day in order to maintain my fluffiness and this certainly isn't enough to maintain fluffiness, let alone cultivate new fluffiness since I shed massive amounts of fluffy in one day.
I'm guessing two things upset his stomach:
1.) Him making such a HUGE deal about me slamming his head into the carpet yesterday
2.) the human woman bribing him with bagel trying to trim his mutatoes with that horrible sounding sanding device.
So, clearly its the human woman's fault that I'm now starving to death and eating something that tastes like nothing.
Meeshka
(anyone got a sandwich?)
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Post 62
My sister Tashi sent me this beautiful shot of her and Polar from the Manhattan skyline.
Tashi sucks.
She's such a traveler and she gets to go neat places, and see cool things and she's very involved in politics and cool things since she moved up to New Jersey and went through rehab for her bad habits. She gave up her modeling career and took up the mantle of demonstrating for good causes and stuff. She does the neatest things, and what do I get? A human woman that sits in front of a computer after work and puts jigsaw puzzles together. They aren't even REAL jigsaw puzzles, they're the online ones and she cheats too.
Tashi was in New York to try to find some idiot by the name of Jonah Goldberg and claw some sense into him, which would take a lot of clawing and he would undoubtedly bleed to death well before sense entered into him, but hey, sometimes the cure has to be worse than the disease. I'm not even going to include a link to this guy, he's not worth looking into, just take it from Tashi and I, he's a moron.
(p.s. Tashi... the idiot lives in DC, so you'll have to come visit me and we'll both go find and claw him).
(p.s.s Tashi... why didn't your human woman pick up my human woman one of those cool bags that are up that way, now I have to sit here while she talks about the cool bags).
(p.s.s.s Tashi, watch this, I'm including a link to those cool bags... watch the humans go insane now)
Post 61
The Mutatoe doesn't feel very good today.
We got the human woman up as usual and went outside. When I wanted to come back in and get breakfast, he stayed out there eating grass and most likely did the horka out there. When he came back inside (finally because I was starving) he didn't eat his food, just stared at it and then gave the human woman that sad "my tummy hurts" look.
I tried to tell the human woman that I would eat his food so it wouldn't go to waste, but she threw it out anyway.... sigh.
He got a pink pepto pill shoved down his throat this morning because when the human man was petting the mopey mutatoe, his stomach growled REALLY loud and frightened us all because we though a large carnivore had somehow found its way into the house. Then he went back outside and I think he horka'd the pill back up. I'm wondering if he managed to get something tasty from the humans when we weren't looking and it doesn't agree with him. Of course, he could be all upset over having that peticure thing attacking him while we was trying to eat bagel. Who knows, he's such a sensitive mutatoe.
Meeshka
We got the human woman up as usual and went outside. When I wanted to come back in and get breakfast, he stayed out there eating grass and most likely did the horka out there. When he came back inside (finally because I was starving) he didn't eat his food, just stared at it and then gave the human woman that sad "my tummy hurts" look.
I tried to tell the human woman that I would eat his food so it wouldn't go to waste, but she threw it out anyway.... sigh.
He got a pink pepto pill shoved down his throat this morning because when the human man was petting the mopey mutatoe, his stomach growled REALLY loud and frightened us all because we though a large carnivore had somehow found its way into the house. Then he went back outside and I think he horka'd the pill back up. I'm wondering if he managed to get something tasty from the humans when we weren't looking and it doesn't agree with him. Of course, he could be all upset over having that peticure thing attacking him while we was trying to eat bagel. Who knows, he's such a sensitive mutatoe.
Meeshka
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Post 60
In my final post for the night before I go up and snack on some oyster crackers, sit on the human woman's head and watch a bit of tv, I just wanted to officially announce one more HULA member:
Khady!
Yes, that little pup has made some remarkable leaps and bounds in HULA qualifications lately and I just couldn't help but give her the recognition she's due. You have to nurture these young pups, cultivate them so that they grow up to become fine, outstanding HULA operatives.
Pictures are worth more than words, and so I give you the following links to prove her worth in the HULA Hoop:
Her "labor" day activities.
Her "I'm so cute, so you must let me get away with murder-ability" post
Yep, that pretty much says it all right there.
Congratulations!
Meeshka
Khady!
Yes, that little pup has made some remarkable leaps and bounds in HULA qualifications lately and I just couldn't help but give her the recognition she's due. You have to nurture these young pups, cultivate them so that they grow up to become fine, outstanding HULA operatives.
Pictures are worth more than words, and so I give you the following links to prove her worth in the HULA Hoop:
Her "labor" day activities.
Her "I'm so cute, so you must let me get away with murder-ability" post
Yep, that pretty much says it all right there.
Congratulations!
Meeshka
Post 59
Penn Jillette thinks that humans are stupid too. Finally a human that also thinks that humans are stupid, other than some humans that we know and love... ok, tolerate and allow them to wait on us hand and foot.
I happen to like Mr. Jillette because he named his kid "Moxie Crimefighter Jillette". He's got another kid with another stupid name too, and I like this because after all of those years of bad dog naming oppression, the stars are calling their kids names that are more stupid than dog names. Pretty soon we'll lapse into opposite-world, where kids named "Whoopie Silly Bumpkin Jones" will be president, and his dog will be called William. Mr. Jillette (I'd call him Penn, but I haven't sniffed his crotch yet to call him the familiar name), thinks that we don't need a smart President, we need a stupid president that will leave us all alone. I totally agree!
Well, I'm here to tell all of you that Turbo and Khyra will do just that! Unless you are doing something stupid, the Turbo/Khyra ticket will probably just yell at you and call you stupid, but they won't tap your phone lines, take your money and spend it on a bridge that doesn't go anywhere, or go to war with Guam... even though Guam is one of the states in the "united" states, but they don't pay taxes, well, they do, but it goes to the Guam government, which is akin to state taxes, so they don't actually pay federal taxes, what gives with that crap? I think Puerto Rico has the same thing, so what I want to know is... how do they get off not paying taxes and still reaping the benefits of our taxes? eh? That's stupid, and as President, Turbo has promised that taxes will be outlawed and the IRS workers will have to mandatorily participate in the bi-weekly running of the bulls held in Omaha, Nebraska (Holly will preside as hostess with the mostest mally gal).
So, I'm taking Mr. Jillette's war on stupid as his endorsement of the Turbo/Khyra ticket and we hope to see him at the polls, pulling the lever... or clicking the screen thingy, or whatever they do in those tiny little school gymnasiums that smell like old milk when it comes time to vote.
Meeshka
I happen to like Mr. Jillette because he named his kid "Moxie Crimefighter Jillette". He's got another kid with another stupid name too, and I like this because after all of those years of bad dog naming oppression, the stars are calling their kids names that are more stupid than dog names. Pretty soon we'll lapse into opposite-world, where kids named "Whoopie Silly Bumpkin Jones" will be president, and his dog will be called William. Mr. Jillette (I'd call him Penn, but I haven't sniffed his crotch yet to call him the familiar name), thinks that we don't need a smart President, we need a stupid president that will leave us all alone. I totally agree!
Well, I'm here to tell all of you that Turbo and Khyra will do just that! Unless you are doing something stupid, the Turbo/Khyra ticket will probably just yell at you and call you stupid, but they won't tap your phone lines, take your money and spend it on a bridge that doesn't go anywhere, or go to war with Guam... even though Guam is one of the states in the "united" states, but they don't pay taxes, well, they do, but it goes to the Guam government, which is akin to state taxes, so they don't actually pay federal taxes, what gives with that crap? I think Puerto Rico has the same thing, so what I want to know is... how do they get off not paying taxes and still reaping the benefits of our taxes? eh? That's stupid, and as President, Turbo has promised that taxes will be outlawed and the IRS workers will have to mandatorily participate in the bi-weekly running of the bulls held in Omaha, Nebraska (Holly will preside as hostess with the mostest mally gal).
So, I'm taking Mr. Jillette's war on stupid as his endorsement of the Turbo/Khyra ticket and we hope to see him at the polls, pulling the lever... or clicking the screen thingy, or whatever they do in those tiny little school gymnasiums that smell like old milk when it comes time to vote.
Meeshka
Post 58
I think we need to have an intervention really soon.
I just read on Opy’s blog that HER humans are gearing up for that new 90210 show that’s coming on. I know they are hopelessly addicted to the old show and force poor Opy and Charlie to watch episodes over and over and over again. Opy even told me in private that HER humans actually dress up as the characters, call each other by character name and do stylish poses outside while dressed as the characters. Its very embarrassing to the both of them.
There was even some talk about changing their names officially and also dressing Opy and Charlie up as the characters as well.
Hmm, now that I think of it... Charlie does look a little bit like Tori Spelling.
(sorry for calling you a 'he" again Opy... its not that you are manly looking or anything, really... I blame the lack of livergreat)
I just read on Opy’s blog that HER humans are gearing up for that new 90210 show that’s coming on. I know they are hopelessly addicted to the old show and force poor Opy and Charlie to watch episodes over and over and over again. Opy even told me in private that HER humans actually dress up as the characters, call each other by character name and do stylish poses outside while dressed as the characters. Its very embarrassing to the both of them.
There was even some talk about changing their names officially and also dressing Opy and Charlie up as the characters as well.
Hmm, now that I think of it... Charlie does look a little bit like Tori Spelling.
(sorry for calling you a 'he" again Opy... its not that you are manly looking or anything, really... I blame the lack of livergreat)
Post 57
I think we all need to band together and stop the abusive Tasering going on.
First that “Don’t Taz me bro” guy, and now a poor Emu
I also feel that the police are responsible for this poor Emu’s death and not because it “ran around for two hours and died of a heart attack”. I’m thinking that someone shooting it with a gazillion volts of electricity MAY have had something to do with it moreso than a lot of aerobic exercise on the freeway.
Poor Emu. Just out playing keep away on the highway, bunch of cops with no sense of humor come along and lose the game, so they cheat and kill the poor bird.
I’d like to have a moment of silence for the poor emu... now pass the coleslaw and hand me a wing.
Meeshka
First that “Don’t Taz me bro” guy, and now a poor Emu
I also feel that the police are responsible for this poor Emu’s death and not because it “ran around for two hours and died of a heart attack”. I’m thinking that someone shooting it with a gazillion volts of electricity MAY have had something to do with it moreso than a lot of aerobic exercise on the freeway.
Poor Emu. Just out playing keep away on the highway, bunch of cops with no sense of humor come along and lose the game, so they cheat and kill the poor bird.
I’d like to have a moment of silence for the poor emu... now pass the coleslaw and hand me a wing.
Meeshka
Post 56
I just wanted to share a picture of some of my biggest admirers. Now, I'm not saying they're fat, or big boned, but they just LOVE my blog and adore me and... ok, I'm all embarrassed now.This is Sky and and Bandit, and other than the humans putting them in some silly beach pose and forcing Sky to wear a silly inner tube around the neck, aren't they beautiful pups?
We also have some pups that want to be included in the huzzy poses, and I couldn't think of a better place to showcase them than my mutual admiration blog post right here.
Nitro and Bandit submitted this muffin pose for the blog of Bandit. Hmm, there are a lot of Bandits out there, but I can tell who this Bandit it by the ... er, never mind! Thank you for showing your naughty bits in the name of raising money to save other potential HULA members, we really appreciate it!
Post 55
Ok, I’m at a loss as to what contest to have next. Hmmm, its been a really rough day, what with shooting Sammy through the fence, and then getting yelled at for slamming the Mutatoe on the carpet. The humans are all outside with their computers and the human woman is doing some sort of stupid jigsaw puzzle thing online, which doesn’t give me a whole lot of opportunity to blog... selfish.... I won’t use that kind of language here.
Hmmm, lets see... something fun, something easy but not TOO easy.
Ok, this isn’t the olympics or anything difficult, so here we go...
Name annoying things that my human woman does that your humans do too, and what don’t they do that you want them to do.
Ok, that’s lame, I know it, but that’s about all I can think of at the moment, so everypup has until 5pm tomorrow to think of things that the humans have in common. E-mail me at meeshkaworld@gmail.com
I think I need to go pee, or something.
Meeshka
Hmmm, lets see... something fun, something easy but not TOO easy.
Ok, this isn’t the olympics or anything difficult, so here we go...
Name annoying things that my human woman does that your humans do too, and what don’t they do that you want them to do.
Ok, that’s lame, I know it, but that’s about all I can think of at the moment, so everypup has until 5pm tomorrow to think of things that the humans have in common. E-mail me at meeshkaworld@gmail.com
I think I need to go pee, or something.
Meeshka
Post 54
Gnome in my pants game.
A few of you have asked about this odd sounding game that the human man and Uncle Jack play online all the time. Yes, Gone in my pants is the game... ok, officially not its real name, but we call it that because of the weird things they yell out while playing it, which oddly sounds as though they have gnomes in their pants. They gather sticky spider legs (or something like that)
and they battle ogres and crocodile thingies that aren't crocodiles, and they need enough rage and cast spells and currently they are actually out on the deck playing this game while chicken legs cook on the grill (a waste of perfectly good raw chicken legs).
I will now translate the talking of this game for the next minute:
What is your mace-ability? Well, that's not bad, look there's a creeper coming into the village. I'll stun it with my sheeping ability, you sneak up from behind and sic your pet on it. Ok, I'll increase your mace power. There was one armament behind the tent but I took that. Hit it with the big hammer! Why isn't it dying... GNOMES IN MY PANTS!!!
Ok, they didn't say the last thing, but frankly, they could have, and they won't think it sounds weird like normal people would.
The human woman has not become addicted to this game because we won't allow her to. If your human (like Indy's human man) become addicted to this game, you will never be petted, fed, let out, or even looked at... which is ok pretty much because that means you can pee where you want and sleep where you want, but there's that tricky can opener thing and getting fed... so beware of this game.
Meeshka
A few of you have asked about this odd sounding game that the human man and Uncle Jack play online all the time. Yes, Gone in my pants is the game... ok, officially not its real name, but we call it that because of the weird things they yell out while playing it, which oddly sounds as though they have gnomes in their pants. They gather sticky spider legs (or something like that)
and they battle ogres and crocodile thingies that aren't crocodiles, and they need enough rage and cast spells and currently they are actually out on the deck playing this game while chicken legs cook on the grill (a waste of perfectly good raw chicken legs).I will now translate the talking of this game for the next minute:
What is your mace-ability? Well, that's not bad, look there's a creeper coming into the village. I'll stun it with my sheeping ability, you sneak up from behind and sic your pet on it. Ok, I'll increase your mace power. There was one armament behind the tent but I took that. Hit it with the big hammer! Why isn't it dying... GNOMES IN MY PANTS!!!
Ok, they didn't say the last thing, but frankly, they could have, and they won't think it sounds weird like normal people would.
The human woman has not become addicted to this game because we won't allow her to. If your human (like Indy's human man) become addicted to this game, you will never be petted, fed, let out, or even looked at... which is ok pretty much because that means you can pee where you want and sleep where you want, but there's that tricky can opener thing and getting fed... so beware of this game.
Meeshka
Post 53
I found this bit of evidence the other day and wanted to share it with you. Do you recall when Mutatoe got his butt kicked by a vicious Lab dog at the vet? I would look for the post, but the human woman is out on the deck and doesn't have a mouse, just that touch pad thing and my claws are marking it up and she's freaking out.
Anyhoo, I had to go to the vet after the Mutatoe and I approached this resident lab fellow to let him know that it wasn't funny (even for a stuffed dog) to beat up on a helpless mutatoe like he did and embarrass him in front of a bunch of people. I mean really, that looks bad on me as well, since he's suppose to know better.
Well, as you can plainly see that things were even worse than I expected. Not only did a toy stuffed lab beat up the Mutatoe, but the Lab can't even move on its own, he was propelled by the human man. So that makes the whole thing even more embarrassing than before.
You can plainly see that I'm not fooled by this at all, as a matter of fact, I'm contemplating on clawing the human man just to let him know that I know that he knows that I know that... ok, I just made myself dizzy.
You get the point, Mutatoe is a weenie.
Meeshka
Anyhoo, I had to go to the vet after the Mutatoe and I approached this resident lab fellow to let him know that it wasn't funny (even for a stuffed dog) to beat up on a helpless mutatoe like he did and embarrass him in front of a bunch of people. I mean really, that looks bad on me as well, since he's suppose to know better.
Well, as you can plainly see that things were even worse than I expected. Not only did a toy stuffed lab beat up the Mutatoe, but the Lab can't even move on its own, he was propelled by the human man. So that makes the whole thing even more embarrassing than before.
You can plainly see that I'm not fooled by this at all, as a matter of fact, I'm contemplating on clawing the human man just to let him know that I know that he knows that I know that... ok, I just made myself dizzy.
You get the point, Mutatoe is a weenie.
Meeshka
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