Bedtime Routine

Every night we have a VERY strict bedtime routine.

The Humans demand that we all go to bed at 8:30pm every night, 365 days a year... frankly, that's around the time when we are well rested from sleeping all day and are ready to play, but hey, they pay the mortgage, so we have to make some compromises I suppose.

First, they Humans put on Spineless, Bionic Hip/Knee Sam's purse and take him downstairs.

Loki Mutatoe always has to pee, he has the bladder of a pea, so he runs ahead to go out.  I skitter around the house and throw myself up on the bed and sit there regally and refuse to go outside.

The Humans stand around waiting for Sam to find the perfect poo spot, which usually involves shoving Mutatoe back into the house and pretending not to watch Sam, because he is a shy pooper and has to have complete and utter silence and nobody within 5 miles looking at him poop.

After the poo ritual, they help him back up the stairs, and then we all get 2 cookies.  If I'm laying on the bed, I simply stay there to be fed my cookies on the bed... if I'm not, then I must supervise the Human Woman to ensure she counts out the correct amount of cookies.

Then we all run into the bedroom to get out cookies.  The Human Woman then does her normal "get ready for bed" things, and at the very end, she'll get into her "go to bed" outfit, and the moment she's just about ready to go to bed...  I need to go out.

So... that means she has to throw on her robe and slippers and take me out.

I must also sniff while I'm out... because something may have changed between the time I last went out, so depending on how cold it is, I must sniff... if it's REALLY cold, then I must sniff more because that seems to excite the Human Woman.  I also may... or may not poo.  Pooing depends on whether I feel like getting the Humans up at 2am to poo, or just get them up at 2 am for no reason what so ever.  I always go out at 2am... they seem to enjoy the break in their sleep.

After my private escort outside, I am then very thirsty, so I must stop at the water bowl to drink, even though the water bowl is always there and is always filled with fresh water.  I will only drink out of the left water bowl.  If the left water bowl is empty, but the right one is full, I scream until they fill the left water bowl.  I also scream if there's Mutatoe drool in the left water bowl, or if the temperature of the left water bowl is not of my liking.

Sometimes at this point, the Mutatoe decides that he has to pee again and runs out.  The Human Woman always sends him back to bed, and not very nicely, there is yelling... something about "bladderless wonder", and "You've got to be kidding"... he usually isn't kidding, he truly is a bladderless wonder.

Then we go to bed... at 9:30pm... right on schedule!

My Trip to the Vet

I knew this was coming because I overheard the Human Woman tell the Human Man that she had to take me to the vet for my rabies vaccine and (gasp) nail clipping.

Thankfully the weather was horrendous.  Torrential downpour of rain at the very moment we had to leave for the vet.  I set about my diabolical plan of refusing to get into the truck.  No amount of bribing, cajoling, or threatening would get me into the truck... until I was sufficiently wet.

It is well known in the Siberian Husky world that we huskies have amazing double coats.  The scotch-guarded top coat that allows us to wallow in mud and yet just shake it off, and the downy soft undercoat that comes out in clumps during our shedding season (which lasts approximately 364 days a year).

If we stay out in the rain long enough, all of that water soaks into our downy undercoat and stays there like a giant sponge.  If we loaded up with enough water, we could slowly trot across the largest desert and still be damp and hydrated when we got to the other side.

Once I was sufficiently loaded up with water, I then jumped into the back of the truck... and waited.

Yes, you have to choose your moments wisely.  Too early and the water distribution is not sufficient enough for a reaction.  Too late and the torrent of water is wasted... you must wait until the Human Woman is buckled into the driver's seat, and preferably when she's on a busy highway and concentrating really hard... and then you shake.

The containment of the truck, the closed windows all make for the perfect environment for the spray of cold hairy shake water.  It's best if you can position yourself in the middle of the front seats for the best effect.

Then you laugh and laugh

This also means that once you arrive at your destination, you are dry and pretty, while the Human Woman...

... not so much.

I made sure to make my disdain for the place known with a very well placed poo, which was immediately gathered in a green plastic bag and given to the person at the front desk.  I can only assume that my poo is so precious that it is used as a form of payment and explains why the Human Woman gathers it daily.

As usual, I was forced into a horrible little room that smelled of other dogs who had undergone horrendous procedures, like temperature taking, and teeth looking, and even ... finger in the po-po.

I asked politely if I could leave... and was denied.

I was dragged, screaming, to the back room of torture.  You must scream before they do the procedures, because it keeps them off-guard and they feel bad for making you scream... and it also warns other dogs from miles around that this is the place where bad things happen.

With my precious and well sharpened claws clipped, I was escorted back to the little room where they listened to me breath, poked me in the po-po, then jabbed me with a sharp needle.

I was then taken to the shop of many good smells and encouraged to pick out something special.  I can only surmise that this offer was out of pure guilt, and that by refusing everything offered to me caused the Human Woman even more guilt.  It is worth not having a new chewbone to cause her more anguish.

She finally took me home where I was questioned and sniffed by the Mutatoe and Bionic Hip, Knee, Spineless Underwater Treadmill dog Sam.  I told them of the horrors of my trip and warned them against going anywhere with the Human Woman.  Sam scoffed and said that all of his trips out were relaxing and fun... he is clearly delusional.

Thankfully I am strong enough to overcome such attempts to diminish my dignity.

You will have to try harder Human Woman and I shall defeat you every time!

- Meeshka

The Nose Knows

The Human Woman is selfish and greedy.

She knows how much I love bananas, and yet the other day she tried to sneak a banana without sharing it with me.

She must have masked the noise of peeling the banana somehow, probably by running the water from the faucet, otherwise I would have heard it, but I detected the distinct odor of banana on her breath the moment she leaned down to pet me, no doubt out of guilt for eating a banana without sharing it with me.

When will she learn that our keen senses will betray her guilt to us each and every time.  Sometimes I think that humans are just beyond training, they just can't seem to learn anything.

The next thing you know she'll be hiding somewhere in the house to satisfy her selfishness... but we will find her

Yes... we will always find her.

- Meeshka

New From MeeshCO

A friend of the Human Woman, we'll call her "Feather", sent this link to my Human Woman and suggested that since these panties were embedded with caffeine, that they would be perfect for traffic jams, because you could just suck on your panties. 


 I'll pause a moment while you all throw up.

Done? 

As disgusting as that sounds, it is the impetus for the next revolutionary idea straight from MeeshCO!

Yes, its LIVERGREAT PANTS!!!!!!

Why wait for the humans to give you treats when you can just walk right up to them and take a bite.  No more doing stupid tricks for treats, the Livergreat Pants© will free you to go about your business and snack when you want.  Made from only the finest Livergreat, the MeeshCO livergreat pants are guaranteed for freshness and tastiness no matter how long they are worn... and the stinkier the better!

Get your livergreat pants exclusively from MeeshCO, where dogs rule!

New Product from MeeshCO

As we pups get older, there are life's little emergencies that we may not be able to handle like we did when we were younger.  Older and wiser, we know that help may not be close by when these situations occur, so we need to make sure that we have the support we need, when we need it, and at a moment's notice.

MeeshCO cares about its customers, and wants to provide them with the confidence they need to live a worry free life and remain independent as long as possible, which is why we've developed the Treat Alert©.

How many times have you found yourself in a comfy position, only to realize that you could use a cookie or other snack?  Seniors shouldn't have to get up and claw their humans for a cookie, therefore we've made it easier for seniors to get what they need, when they want it with Treat Alert©

Simply press the button on the handy bracelet and your Treat Alert© will not only send out an audible alarm, but will also send an electric shock to the matching Treat Alert© Human Pairing Bracelet, notifying your human of your want of a cookie.

No more getting up and hunting down your human, or that exhausting clawing, Treat Alert© gives its wearer a safe and easy way to get the assistance they need... quickly.

Treat Alert©
Available online exclusively from MeeshCO... where dogs rule.

Need I say more?

Honorary HULA award to Max

Yep, Max did his best to steal his master's truck, but those pesky gears and pedals and stuff thwarted his attempt.

Max was on a HULA mission to rob the local Petsmart of all tasty dog treats. We picked him because he had access to a pickup truck and his master is a bit too trusting with the keys.

We're sorry to say that the helicopter that Molly the squirrel promised to steal for us to deliver all of the goodies has crashed on take off. Molly is fine, but hanger and 14 airplanes didn't fare very well.