Stick Pile Update

So, you may be wondering why I'm lounging and pouting under an end table. I thought you'd never ask!

The human woman has been working hard to organize our stick pile, and doing a great job. She's got a pile of small, tasty, easy to chew and break sticks in one pile. There is the fun to climb on large limb pile, and she has uncovered my own personal throne, which is the stump of a tree. I love sitting on that stump. I would show you a picture, but I'm too busy pouting.

You see, its raining out. For those of you who don't know me (shame on you), I don't like the rain. The rain makes me less fluffy. Its wet. I don't like my delicate and tiny feet to get wet, and I don't like it when I'm not to my full fluffiness when I'm wet. Therefore, I'm pouting under the end table.

There has been some misunderstanding with my new tree stump throne, and that is that Loki thinks its HIS throne. He is sadly mistaken, and I've had to chase him off of it a few times with my skitter/screech approach. He just laughs and bounces away. That boy just doesn't know when to take things seriously. I had to chase him around the yard the other day because he barked, and barked, and barked at Sam until I couldn't stand it any longer and was forced to chase him. He made the mistake of getting cornered near the shed. You would think he would learn after that, but no. The moment I taught him a lesson, he just runs right back and attacks me. He's not very bright.

Word of warning to everyhusky (and dog) some moron by the name of Justin is posting comments with a link on a lot of blogs. He left one on mine, but the A04 warned me about him. Apparently if you click on the link it takes you to fur-less and clothes-less humans, and also downloads viruses to your computer. If you see a comment from some idiot named Justin, don't click on the link. Report his butt to blogger (I doubt they'd do anything, they're too busy keeping the old blogger up with duct tape) and maybe we can get him booted. I just wouldn't click on ANY comment links from now on, so don't bother leaving any, or clicking any of them.

Meeshka
(stop the rain so I can sit on my new throne!)

Look at Our Fun New Gift!

Today started out to be a very boring day. The human woman left for a while, came back smelling like a pet cemetery, the human man stayed home, but he was reading stupid books and didn't pay us much attention. That's fine, because normally sunday is sleep day, but still.

Human woman gets home, and then there's a knock on the door! OOH, was it the guy that brings the good smelling boxes that the humans don't share with us?
No
Was it the guy that brings the little white boxes of good smelling stuff that the humans don't share with us?
No
It was some guy, and for some reason because that guy was around, we couldn't go outside. Then there was a whole bunch of noise out back, and we wanted to go investigate the noise, but the humans wouldn't let us... but I snuck a peek in the kitchen window, and it was the guy in the tree!

After what seemed like forever, the guy in the tree finally left, and the human woman let us outside, and this is what we found:

Look at what the tree limb fairy left for us! There is an absolutely HUGE pile of limbs in our yard, just for us! We sniffed the limbs, and tried to climb into the limbs (the human woman yelled at us) and played keep away around the limbs, and generally tried to be helpful, but the human woman wasn't having any of that.

Apparently all of these limbs came from our trees, and apparently one of the trees is actually laying on the ground now. They got a good deal from the guy cutting down the limbs and trees, and part of that deal was that we have to clean up the limbs! We'll have limbs to chew on for a looooong time! Maybe some woodland creatures will move into the limbs and we can eat them. The human woman managed to cut up and bag some of the limbs, but she thinks it may take her a long time to do it, but we'll be out there to help her too, so it'll be no time before we have those pesky limbs all piled up neatly. We'll have so much fun with our new obstacle course!

Meeshka
(Just LOOK at those limbs!)

Wooo!

WOOO!
Wooo woooooooooo

Wooooo, sniff, woowooooooooooo

Woooo wowowow!

Woooo? WOOOOOO!

Dog Translation:
BARK!

Bark, bark, bark, yip

Bark, sniff, barkbarkbarkbarkbark

Bark yip!

Bark? bark bark!

Meeshka
(let the humans figure out that one!)

Who Ordered This Crappy Weather?

As most of you on the East Coast know, we had some really crappy weather today. Its November... it should be snowing, but what do we have? Torrential downpours, wind, and THUNDER. Oh yeah, so you know what that means, right...

Yep, the shirt. Unbelievable. The human woman has just sucked the life blood from me, taken away the very claw I live by, no more fun, no more making her run from me... she gets out the shirt at the first crack of thunder and renders me harmless. There is no joy in Meeshkaworld.

On top of that, I've been getting some pretty irate comments and even e-mails from dogs blaming me for their humans reading our innermost thoughts and secrets here on Meeshkaworld, and using it to their advantage. Um... hello? Did I not tell everyhusky (and dog) that this was PRIVATE for us only? Why are you allowing your humans to read our secret HULA plotting and planning? I tell you these things so that you can be aware of them, and plot tactics to get out of shirts, stop the non-stinky things, and get good food from them! I don't post them so they can read it and thwart our attempts to take over the world.

For instance, I get this e-mail from Sasha:

So, OK, I don't like rain. Big deal. It gets my nice coat wet and soggy, and it's noisy, and I don't like it. So the human woman apparently heard about some magic cure for not liking rain from Meeshka's human woman.
Why do we let them talk? So she comes down with a tee shirt. And then she put it on ME!! I don't wear tshirts.

Then, just in case things aren't bad enough, she takes my picture. Look how stupid I look.
Once I"m done pouting (and the rain's over) I'll think of some good way to get her back. If anyone has any suggestions, please post them to Meeshka's blog. I'll read it, even though I'm not talking to Meeshka. She's the one that got me into this mess in the first place.
Sasha, in a stupid shirt.

Can you believe that?? She's blaming ME for her wearing a shirt! Well Sasha, if you kept the blog hidden from your human (like all of you should be doing) then you wouldn't HAVE to wear a stupid t-shirt! So don't be blaming me when all of your humans buy stupid trash cans, non-stinky spray and put you in t-shirts!

Meeshka
(try to help huskies out and they turn on you... no good breed goes unpunished. harumpf!

It Doesn't Stink

Since there has been a lot of hoopla and concern over this new miracle liquid the human woman has purchased, I thought I’d clarify a few things.

It has NO smell! No smell at all! Its completely odorless! No frou-frou smell, no fake flower smell, no fake piney smell... nothing. Its as if nobody had been there at all!

Everyone must block the following website: zero odor

It is EVIL! EVIL I TELL YOU!

Some also wondered about the special guest post from Sasha. Sasha has posted before on my blog, and other have as well, when they have something important to say. Sasha, Ray, and Isis worked very hard at driving their human man insane last night while their human woman went out to some foul store to buy things. I only felt that their accomplishments showed what potential we all have to drive our humans insane. I plan on continuing “Drive your humans insane week” tonight with something annoying, just haven’t figure out what yet. I prefer to work spur of the moment, whereas the gimpy mutatoe plots and schemes and plans and then gleefully brags about his exploits. Yes, he’s fine after his award winning puke on the area rug and mole killing. He made a desperate attempt at attention when he stole something off the bedroom end table and then guarded it.

I’ll never understand him. He steals and hoards. Doesn’t chew it up, doesn’t destroy it, just hoards. When he first came here, he’d steal every towel, blanket, pillow, or dirty piece of clothing, pile it up and lay on it. Sam, at least, use to drag the sheets into his crate and suck on them back when we were crated in the bedroom. he also managed to shred a down comforter by dragging it into his crate and sucking on that. It looked like it snowed in the bedroom. Human woman was not pleased, as apparently its very difficult to sew a sucked on, ripped down comforter without spewing feathers all over.

Oh, another thing, the human woman raked some leaves into a pile for the mutatoe. He LOVES laying in leaf piles. Makes him feel very important or something. The odd thing is... he pees on the leaf pile, then lays in the leaves. Ok, euw.

One last note... Holly.... don’t eat the bowl, just carry it around wherever the humans go and throw it ON their bare feet. If that fails, push button phones don’t require opposable thumbs, so dial your local SPCA and report this “diet” crap to them. I’m sure they’ll pick you up and feed you.

Meeshka

Drive the Humans Insane Week Kicks Off!

Hey, it's Sasha.

Meeshka forgot to tell everyone about Drive the Humans Insane Week, so I guess it's up to me.

We had a great start to the week.

We howled through dinner (they had meatloaf, we wanted some) In between howls, we clawed and poked with ice cube noses.

So they fed us.

Isis, in a daring display of Drive the Humans Insaneness, jumped up on the bench at the kitchen table and started helping herself to leftovers.

However, she didn't share any with me, so I'm not so happy about that.

Then we had to go out, but it was RAINING. So I peed right outside the door, so the human man couldn't close it and leave us out there for hours and hours in the pouring rain.

Then Ray peed ON the open door, so he REALLY couldn't close it.

So we ran back in.

Ray must've forgot he had to poop, so he decided to do it right in the dining room! And a LOT, and smelly. Way to go, Ray. Cause, really, who's gonna hollar at a creaky blind dog?

SO that's how we started Drive The Humans Insane Week. We're still plotting out the rest of the week's festivities.

Claws and Regards

Sasha

This is Human Woman War

So after Loki's amazing horka in the kitchen (just to clarify, he managed a 10 point horka on the hard to wash throw rug, mere inches from the easy to clean linoleum), a box arrived at the house today. We don't know who leaves these boxes, but if we find them, we shall claw them.

Did the box have tasty husky cookies or treats in there?
No

Did the box have squeeky toys in there?
No

The human woman literally giggled with glee when she opened it... some stupid containers of liquid. The label says (yes, we can read) Zero Odor.

My first guess was that with all the crap the humans bathe in, wash their fur in, clean their clothes with, and rub under their arms (I will never figure that out), that even they were nauseated by the smell of all of these things, and she had bought something to neutralize their smells. Perhaps something in a doggy fragrance.

Oh no. She didn't buy it for them, even though they really need it. She bought it "for" us. Why? I don't know, its not like we asked for it.

So, she tried it out. Typically when she buys things she sees on tv (which is rare, I have to admit, she doesn't fall for too much), she tries it, mutters in disgust, and throws it out.

She read directions, she sprayed, she sniffed, she seemed happy. Hmmm, ok, so I had to go sniff too. OUR SMELLS ARE GONE! Once again we've spent an inordinate amount of time making sure our smells permeate the entire house... and now they're gone! She sprayed the part of the sofa we like to "mark" because its OURS, and its gone, our smells are gone!

ALL GONE!!!!

She had the gall to read the label to me, where it said that you can spray it right on kitty litter (hmmm, maybe its like a salad dressing of sorts) and it removes the odor! She said that they even claim it'll totally kill skunk odor. Well, I tell you what, I'm going out to look for one right now, and I'll show her that it doesn't work so she'll throw that crap right out.

She's been spritzing all night. It claims to remove stains (yeah, right, I'll leave a nice stain and see what it can do).

So everyhusky, and dog... the human woman will soon be bragging about the joys of Zero Odor to all of her human friends (Army of Four, watch out, I'm sure your human woman whose brain is connected to my human woman, will get a box soon), and pretty soon our houses will smell like NOTHING. How boring is that?

Meeshka
(she comes at me with the spray bottle, she's losing an appendage)

Let's Get Ready To Rumble!

Ok, so when I gave the call to arms to everydog to drive their humans insane, I sat down and had a long, slow talk with Sam and Loki (I have to talk slow, they're a bit dense), explaining that we have to kick up our natural tendencies to be annoying to teach the human woman who is boss.

Well, apparently Loki either didn't understand, or has taken it upon himself to best me in annoying. We've all done our fair share of begging, looking cute and fluffy and hungry while they eat. I've clawed and pranced and woo'd. I've even managed to get the human woman to share her tasty, buttery Costco croissant with me... even the human man shared. Our bothering them has been a great success.

Today, since its raining, I went out and dug in the mud, we all got wet, and that should have been sufficient annoying for one day... oh no.

Gimpy suckup mutatoe goes outside in the rain to get all muddy, while we're inside napping, getting the jump on annoying. Then he has the gall to carry in a dead mole and plop it in his cage! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? He's showing off now! I even heard the human woman say that he is the most evil. THE MOST!!! I'm suppose to be the MOST evil! This is MY house, and I say that I'm the MOST evil husky here!

I can't believe that. I don't know whether to show him up, or throw him to the floor and chew on him.

harumph!

Meeshka
(I will not be bested by a gimpy)

OOOH, that little gimpy! He just hurled up all of his food in the kitchen. He's just sucking the attention right away from me! I'm sure his hurling had something to do with drinking muddy rain water and getting the mole. He's so annoying.

Tip # 584 On How To Drive The Humans Insane

Apparently the best thing to do, is do nothing.

We're just laying around after a rough day in the yard, and suddenly both humans come bolting out of their chairs and racing for the stairs. The human man peels off and runs for the bedroom.

We woke up and were like "WHAT?"

Apparently they heard one of the yippy neighbor dogs whining and thought one of us was in pain or something. They were running around because they couldn't remember if we were outside or not (gee... that's nice, guess I need to claw more).

They were so relieved that we were fine, they hugged and petted us. For nothing. All we were doing was napping.

The humans get stranger and stranger every day.

Meeshka
(Hey, I didn't do anything, how about a cookie?)

Tip #583 On How To Drive The Human Woman Insane

We behaved for one day... sorta. Sometimes you have to take a day or two off to throw them for a loop. If you behave badly every day, they expect something weird. You have to surprise them.

Sam managed to hurt his front leg. In case you didn't know, on top of having one bionic hip, one bad hip, Sam also has one front leg shorter than the other. He's a mess, and that's why he cops a tude all that time. He's cute, he's lopsided, he runs funny, he's a gimpy. Not quite sure what he did to it, for all I know he may be limping for attention. of course its really hard to tell that he's limping, since he's lopsided to begin with, but the human woman is sure he's limping, so he's getting ALL sorts of attention.

Which is what brings me to the title of this blog post... here's another fine example of making the human woman scream and get you all sorts of attention:

Yes, its the ol chew on a really sharp knife trick!
Hey, I didn't get it out of the sink where someone left it right close to the edge where Loki could easily reach it. I just happened to take it away from him and chew most of the handle off. I didn't swallow it, I'm not stupid, but it was good for removing some of that pesky tartar from my back molars.

You should have seen the look on the human woman's face when she saw me chewing on that! She was so concerned that I had cut my legs while holding it to chew on, that she didn't even yell at me! She just checked my legs (the fluffiness keeps me safe), and then gave me a hug of relief that I wasn't bleeding all over the place.

So, lesson learned: chew on a steak knife... get praised and hugged. Gosh I love humans, they make no sense at all.

Meeshka
(the plastic was very tasty)

Gotta Hand It To The Mutatoe

DSC01753.JPG
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.

Although he is annoying, sometimes I have to hand it to the Mutatoe for coming up with unique ways to drive the human woman insane.

Take today for instance. Our morning routine pretty much goes like this:
We claw the human woman awake and demand to go outside. We do our business, and then demand to come inside and be served our breakfast.

After the human woman wastes water in the shower thing, Mutatoe demands to be let outside again (he hoardes water and has the bladder of a flea). Bionic hip Sammy usually goes out with him. I like to stay inside for some early morning clawing and annoying.

After the kong bone treats are prepared (I supervise to make sure she isn’t skimping on the treats), she will let the gimpy boys back inside. Normally they’re in a hurry to get inside so they can get their kong, but this morning, Loki noticed that the human woman was wearing a white shirt. I’m sure you know where this is going.

Yes, Loki decided that he saw a horrible predator in the back of the yard, so he ran back there to attack it. Despite the calls from the human woman, he refused to come inside, and actually yapped at her to come look at the predator. She couldn’t refuse his bouncing and pointing, and actually walked outside to see what he was looking at. When she was half-way in the yard (the point of no escape), he tore after her and leapt onto her, making sure to smack her with his well dirtied mutatoe sponge-like paw, then ran to the back door looking cute and ready to go inside.

Oh yeah, we all laughed and laughed when she walked in, muttering about the dirt on her sleeve, but what she didn’t realize was that she had two very large mutatoe foot prints on her back. Apparently a co-worker pointed that out to her, AFTER she walked through the busy halls at work, no doubt being laughed at behind her back. What made it even funnier was that she tried to use a brown paper towel to wipe the mud off, and it just made things even worse.

So, what have you done today to make your human foolish?

Meeshka
(plotting for tomorrow)