Monday, June 26, 2006

Human Training Update

I throw my paws up at training these humans. I swear, they do NOT listen, they don't retain information, and its as though they do the opposite of what you tell them to do. They just can't be trusted.

I very simply explained the whole fear of thunder/fireworks things, and how simply that fear can be overcome with a simple stay at a nice hotel and being fed human goodies, but do they listen... NO.

In case your humans haven't been letting you watch the news, the east coast has been nothing but storm central. With the heat and humidity and non-stop rain, rain, rain, its like living in an armpit around here. Human woman throws us outside, we beg to come back inside and lay on the air vent, and she tortures us. "stay out there for a little bit, all you do is lay around in the air conditioning". Um, hello, yeah, we're covered in fur you dolt!

So last night was the topper. First of all, the human woman knows that when it thunders, she has to sit there and allow me to claw her leg. That's just the way it goes, but does she do that? No. She has to get up and run around the kitchen table. I'm actually chasing her around the kitchen table in order to sufficiently claw her leg. I mean, how ridiculous is it to be chasing your human around the kitchen table during a storm? So frustrating. At one point I just stood and stared at her, stomping my little delicate feet with frustration.

Then bed time rolls around. Does she take me into the quiet sanctuary of the room we are not allowed in? Oh no, she just goes straight into bed and gets under the covers, and expects me to just curl up on her head and sleep like normal, when its thundering. I'm sorry, that's where I draw the line.

So I clawed her.
I woo'd
I clawed and woo'd
I jumped off the bed, jumped on the bed, clawed and woo'd
jumped off the bed, ran down the hall wooing, jumped on the bed, clawed and woo'd
jumped off the bed, jumped on the bed, jumped on the human woman and woo'd.
jump, jump, jump on the human woman, claw and woo

The jumping and clawing on the human was very effective, but I was exhausted after all of that. I mean does it take me jumping on her with all 4 feet before she gets the hint that she has to get up? How many times does this have to happen before she finally gets it?

So, off to the quiet room we're not allowed in for some safety. In the middle of the night the storm went away for a bit, so I woke the human woman so she could take me out and I could go to the bathroom safely. She had the gall to try to sneak back into the bedroom afterwards, and this time it only took one time of my jumping on her to get her back into the safety of the room we aren't allowed in.

I've hear some huskies claim that positive human training works the best, but when it comes to my humans... I'm at my wits end.

Meeshka
When I jump on you, that means get up!

1 comment:

Woofwoof said...

Look at the positive side. If the woman does the opposite of what she's told, maybe she wants to be a husky. Of course, she has zero chance, but it's the thought that counts.