Thursday, February 15, 2007

HULA Operatives Create Dangerous Peanut Butter

Ok everyhusky, dog, and Fu-Fu, the HULA operatives are trying a new way for us to rule the world. Unfortunately the humans found out and are trying to put a stop to it.

I just received word from HULA operatives that the dog treat called peanut butter has been recalled. The HULA operatives have contaminated the Peter Pan brand and the brand called Great Value (which apparently isn’t) with a fish called Salmonella.

The plan was that since us dogs sorta have a tolerance to this evil Salmonella fish thing, that we would contaminate the humans through our poo and saliva, they would spend all of their time on the toilet with diarrhea and we would take over the world. Sure, some of us would get sick from it (fever, diarrhea and abdominal pain), but that’s the price we have to pay in order to take over the world. Its treatable, there wouldn’t be any mass casualties on the dog side of it, but think of the possibilities!

Since the humans have found out our plan, they are taking those brands off the shelf and warning other humans about it. We’ve had reports that jars of the Salmonella fish peanut butter had actually made their way to some of our HULA HOOP, so we were VERY close to taking over at least part of the world!

I have to admit that the plan was foiled here because the human woman is a choosy mother and she chose JIF for us. It doesn’t matter, since we rule this house anyway, and she has enough gastro intestinal issues to deal with without the fish contamination. We’ve actually made her take us out through the downstairs now because the steps of the deck were treacherous. We get to sniff Sammy through a baby gate, although he was yelling at the suck up Mutatoe about that whole spine thing. Apparently Sam thinks his spine injury was actually a plot by the suck up gimpy mutatoe to get rid of him. Its going to be ugly in here when he finally gets well enough and starts pile driving the mutatoe’s head into the carpet. Don’t worry, I’ll get pictures of that.

(If you believe in peanut butter, crap your pants)


JustMeCopper said...

I always knew I had a choosy Mom. We have JIF too.

Khady Lynn said...

We have the not-so-great-value peanut butter at our house too. Luckily, only the human man eats it, so we are all safe. Unfortunately, he hasn't gotten sick. We'll try and figure something else out for HULA.


Jack & Moo said...

The humans here eat the all-natural stuff, only canines get the cheap brand (hrumpff), but I don't think we get the fish pb kind. We do get the other fish salmon in a can sometimes, that's pretty good stuff!

Deanna said...

We use Skippy, not the fishy kind. Good move, though. I can't wait to see the Sammy attack!