Must I Do Everything?

 I just discovered that for the past month Bleeder has been posting my stories on the wrong blog. Spent the past half hour moving them to the correct blog. This is why it is vital that humans have a Working Breed in their house, they are incapable of doing ANYTHING without direct supervision.

Speaking of supervision, there was a lot of that going on this long weekend because there was a lot of cooking of tasty foodables in the kitchen. At one point I was not allowed in the kitchen because Bleeder had to spatchcock a turkey breast, which involved a very sharp knife and a rubber mallet. I'm sure you are all shocked that she didn't end up hacking off a finger, because Bleeders gonna bleed.

Spatchcocking was invented in 1936 when Mrs. Henrietta Farberson of North Beluga, South Dakota ran over a squirrel, causing her husband to proclaim "You really spatchcocked that little rodent". Upon further inspection they decided that the flattened form would allow the meat to cook more evenly, and since times were hard.... It is also useful for deep frying, and squirrel on a stick can be found at any State Fair where anything not moving is deep fried and sold for twice its actual worth.

But I digress.

For the past few days I've had amazing meals with turkey bits sprinkled on top. Turkey is very tasty, and makes me sleepy for some reason.

I found that the easiest way to be notified when Bleeder gets up for more tasty food is to just hold her foot. She tries to sneak into the kitchen and snack without me.

The weather has been nice, so we've taken a few sniffy walks to help burn off the extra foodables we've eaten. Something about my gaining a few pounds. I have no idea what they're talking about, and I resent that remark. My cheese allotment has been cut in half as well, so I have to go to great lengths to find good trade up items to bring in.

Look Bleeder, that's a dangerous clump of grass, I may choke on it, but I'll trade it up for cheese!

Then they do this stuff... right in front of me! Ok, fine, I got popcorn, but in dribs and drabs. 

There's supposed to be a new "thing" coming in the mail that will give me tasty treats, but not all the calories... we'll see.

-Casey-

Pawdicure

 

My foamy back seat extender gives me WAY more room to stretch out, sprawl, and allows me to supervise Toast as he drives without having to stand up, or back legs on seat, front legs on floor. That's not comfortable!

 THIS is comfortable, and I may have napped a bit on the way home. Pawdicures are exhausting. 

I was also the most adorable pupper in the clinic... until that stupid bunny came in, but I wasn't allowed to look at the bunny, be near the bunny, or even think about the bunny. I did get a lot of love and attention from random people, and I didn't even jump up on them.

I didn't want to go into the back room this time, and honestly I just didn't feel like going into the building... something about the scale... I don't want to be weighed. I get judged a lot after it pings up its number. The scale lies.

Bleeder has been watching this guy on the Instagrams and highly recommends that you humans do too. I don't recommend you watch it, as it is nothing but training stuff for dogs. When I say training stuff for dogs, it's not: How to grab that bacon off the counter, or How to get the fridge open to reach the cheese sticks. It's all: How to stop your working breed from working and hauling you down the street on your face while you scream.

The one thing I do agree on is the large amount of treating involved in training. I need to be motivated, what is my motivation... treats. Bleeder does say that I'm behaving much better on leash and she doesn't require a heating pad and Tylenol after we go for walks any more.

Since I was such a good pupper yesterday, and because it is Sunday, it's Pancake Sunday!!

Then I spent the morning eviscerating my squeaky toy. It was a beaver, but I ripped the tail off already.

Don't even think about trying to take it away from me!

I Hurt Myself

 Hey... I hurt my right front leg. 

Apparently I got a little too exuberant during play this morning, and now I'm limping. Bleeder thinks it's the shoulder. Bleeder thinks I "tweaked" something. Bleeder is a horrible person for not rushing me to the Vet ER for immediate treatment and a McDonalds plain burger on the way home. Toast said "that's what happens when you race through the house like a crazed weasel when the Dyson vacuum comes out". Bleeder mentioned that I probably stepped in one of the millions of little holes I've dig-dugged. I live with monsters.

Sure, I can run down the deck stairs and chase a squirrel without a problem. I can also use it to claw Bleeder when she's not sharing her pop tart quick enough. My only bartering tool is that I'm very stoic about it... when huskies are stoic, it's usually catastrophic, and when it's nothing, we scream like banshees. This makes Bleeder and Toast "concerned", and taking a "wait and see" approach. 

I'm pretty sure, regardless, I'll be making a trip to the vet just to get checked out, but in the meantime I'm milking this for all I can get.

Why don't you go inside and get me a tasty treat since I can't walk

Leaves

 We seem to be back in summer again as Bleeder keeps turning the A/C on. It's over 70 degrees here and rainy. This isn't what I signed on for. I expect cold and snow.

The one fun thing about this "fall" weather are the leaves. LOTS and LOTS of leaves. There are so many leaves that Bleeder started raking them into these amazingly fun piles that allow me to race into them and spread them all over the place. Bleeder rakes, I frolic. Bleeder rakes, and I zoom, spin, and skitter... and then inhale a leaf and gack it out using the patented, alarming coughing and retching sound that sends Bleeder scurrying over to make sure I'm fine. 

It also doesn't make things any better when Bleeder kicks the leaves at me to attack, they go into my mouth, gack.

I do assist with raking by using my handy ring

Leaves are great places to rip a soccer ball into pieces. It's soft and comforting, and holds the ball in place for that perfect eviscerating action.

When leaves get wet... well, they aren't as fun, but they're still very comfy to lay on... until I come back inside the Bleeder has to towel me off because I'm sopping wet.

I also managed to freak them both out when Bleeder found some crusty gunk on my belly. They thought I had hurt myself, but it was just some dead thing dried gunk, but the funny part is that Bleeder actually smelled it when she picked some of it off. I got distracted with a squeaky toy so she could mop me off with a wet wash rag.

This weekend some work people came to the house and I got to supervise them from my crate. They pulled off my dog door, replaced all of the outside trim, squished stinky caulk around the outside and inside, and then reinstalled my dog door. The last people that did it clearly had no clue how to hang a door as it wouldn't shut right, but my door worked perfectly. Bleeder and Toast are getting used to not having to shove the door open with a big clang, then slam it shut with an even louder clang with half the door top sticking out of the frame for the past 4 months. Bleeder stands and watches the door close in amazement every time, she's crazy and easily amused.

As today was waffle Sunday, I'm a bit sleepy, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking a short nap before my pre-lunch skitter.

Get the Hint

 It has been gloriously cool here in the land of Merry, but no snow yet. Drat.

Since it is nice and cool, it is perfect outdoor play weather.

I attack the bouncing Collieball, then herd it straight at Toast and Bleeder. It's my version of bowling for humans. Toast feels that I would make an excellent soccer goalie.

Bleeder and I play ring chase and tug. She flings, I chase, I nab, I run back, I run into Bleeder, she tries to pull it out of my grippy jaws while I shake my head violently and try to knock her off her feet.

Since Bleeder is quite dense, and needs to be told when I want to play ring, I have to be pretty obvious about it

hint, hint!

Normally I'm allowed downstairs, especially when my services are needed for laundry day. I escort the laundry down the stairs, then I sniff the laundry room, then stick my head into the dryer while Bleeder puts the wet clothes in it, and for my efforts, I get a laundry cookie as payment.

Sometimes I'm not allowed down there, so I must supervise things from the couch.

You sure you can handle things down there ok?

I'm more than happy to eat that garbage so you don't have to take it to the curb.

Of course, it is also grub season, therefore it is time to aerate the yard.

Just the right size to break an ankle. My work here is done

Unlike my predecessors who felt that grubs were a tasty delicacy, I prefer to dig up the grub, then roll on it.

Just a little dab of grub goo behind the ear.

Every evening at 6pm SHARP is pink bone cheese time. I'm pleased to announce that Bleeder has finally mastered the art of cheese stick stuffing into the pink bone that she no longer needs direct supervision, so now I just impatiently wait for it to be delivered to me.

Did you remember to stuff all four sides? Took you long enough.

I need to go take my nap because today is sniffy walk day and I want to be good and rested so I can drag Bleeder down the street again.

- Casey -

My New Ball

  In their search to find the perfect play toy for me that doesn't require my lazy humans to exert themselves, a new ball showed up in a tiny little box. I was not immediately impressed until they pumped that sucker up, and BOOM!

Introducing my Collieball

It's HUGE! Almost bigger than me, but it's lightweight and bouncy.

Sure, it's intended for herding dogs, and there's nothing wrong with herding dogs other than they really like to herd things, are bossy, and want you to go where they want you to go. I could see where it could be mistaken for a sheep (I'm just making that up so I don't get hate comments from herding dogs... those Border Collies DON'T have a sense of humor).

While I'm not much into herding, I do like attacking, and this is a formidable foe because of its size. I also prefer my balls to bounce, as if it is a smarmy squirrel falling from a tree... a giant, obese squirrel falling from a tree.

BOING

BOING ATTACK

So, I've spent a lot of time doing this

And I've also discovered a new game called: Bowling for Toast

I do think that it needs a squeaky appendage for me to grab so I can fling it around the yard, perhaps a fluffy tail to grab onto and shake really hard. The best part of husky play is the capture and shake, and this ball is so huge, and has a chew proof cover that I'm not able to sufficiently stalk, chase, attack, and kill it... but I'll eventually figure it out.

-Casey-

Must I?

 Bleeder is all... you need to post more, your adoring fans want to see more of your adorableness.. ok, those are my words, she said something different, but I don't pay any attention to what she says.

Well, I'm busy today, I have a jam packed schedule for today:

Now leave me alone, I must nap.

When Does It Snow?

 I'm currently curled up in my little bed, my squeaky mushroom for a pillow, waiting for snow.

Thanks to some annoying person named "Ian" it's been nothing but cloudy, rainy, and gross outside. Well, honestly, it's gloriously muddy, tons of new sticks to chew on, and fun to shake all of the rain off my coat onto Toast and Bleeder, but they claim it's nasty, therefore they won't go outside with me to sniff the new sniffs and stomp in the mud. Because I'm left to my own devices, I've collected a wide variety of sticks and branches to chew on just outside the door. I've learned that some sticks just won't fit in my door, but I'll figure that out in my own time.

Even when Bleeder comes outside all bundled up against the rain to search the Poorimeter with her magical bag of poo-be-gone, she complains and grumbles about rain falling on her head and down her neck. Humans truly need to grow more fur. It saves time having to get dressed, and it keeps the water from permeating onto the skin, like mine.

We took a ride yesterday to the vet clinic for my nail trim. Once again I prance to the back and let them clip my nails, but I'm not letting Bleeder or Toast near my feet. While we waited, I sniffed things, pulled on my leash to play with all of the other puppers that came out (they had cones of shame on and were in no mood to play so I was kept well into the distance so I couldn't disturb them), and by the time my appointment was over, I was a bit tired.

I did get a very large "Spoiled Dog" cookie in the shape of a bone, but Toast is only allowing me to have small bits of it at a time, as it was very large and he's concerned about my weight ... I am svelte and athletic, I have no idea what he's talking about.

Last week I received some new toys. The Rabbit was great fun... until it exploded this morning. It went into the silver storage bin. My shroom is still unscathed, and as I mentioned above, it doubles as a handy pillow.

Recently deceased rabbit is in the background

I am enjoying the cooler days and nights though! It's way more fun to run around the yard and chase things when it's not sweltering. My furs are getting thicker as well, which means at any time, we'll have oodles of snow and I can play caribou take down with Bleeder. She loves that game, I can tell by her screams.

Catching Up

 It's FINALLY getting cooler outside, so I've been spending a lot of time in the yard eating forbidden things, doing forbidden things, and gathering rocks to trade for pieces of cheese.

Bleeder has, for some reason, deemed Pink Bone Cheese Time at 6pm sharp. That's a whole 2 hours after I eat and can be considered a form of torture. I impatiently wait and at 6pm sharp I fling my pink bone at her to gently remind her that it is now official Pink Bone Cheese Time.

Sometimes she packs the cheese in too tight and I can't get to it easily, so I'll pout and give her the big eyes until she feels sorry for me and helps push the cheese within easier reach. She's such a sucker for that. I'll also deposit Pink Bone on her lap to announce that it needs to be refilled when there's actually still cheese in the center, but it's not fresh cheese, it's gooey cheese and I like my cheese firm.

Last week Bleeder ate some food that was poisoned (or so she says) and she spent all day in bed being all pathetic and not tending to my needs. Something about an upset stomach and nausea, blah, blah, and I don't know why she didn't appreciate my gentle nursing techniques.

She's such a wimp. My stomach hurts, I'm nauseous, now I'm bleeding from your talons.

Last week there was also something very scary in the yard, up in the air, I can't describe it, but I refused to go out in the yard. It was just too scary. I forgot about it the next day, but let's just say it was scary and I didn't appreciate being leashed and dragged out into scary yard when I didn't want to do my "duty" in the scary yard... there was bandaids involved there. Since bandaids are becoming involved, that means it is time for my pawdicure next week. That means a lovely ride in my car, and lots of fragrant sniffs in the vet clinic parking lot.

I won't allow Bleeder or Toast to clip my nails. Nope, not happening. According to the vet staff, I saunter into the back room, offer up a paw and let them do it without screaming or flailing. They give me really good treats. Then I prance back to Bleeder and Toast in the waiting room like "what's so hard about that?". They roll their eyes.

On weekends I've been going on "sniff walks". They used to take me for "walks" which meant I had to walk and not spend any time sniffing the scenery and enjoying the smells. That meant that I needed to pull them really hard to get to the next available sniff spot and get my sniffs in before they caught up and dragged me away from the sniff spot.

Bleeder got tired of being dragged all over, and the walks weren't that enjoyable, so now we go on leisurely sniff walks. They let me go where I wanna go, sniff what I wanna sniff (except the sticky rose bush on the corner), and we go at my pace, not caring about steps or exercise. They've attached a leash to the back of my harness, and one to the front of my harness and we do spend a lot of time circling around when I start pulling, but I found that if I don't pull a lot, we don't circle around a lot, and then I have more opportunity to sniff. I also know that I can take my time and enjoy my sniffs, Bleeder and Toast enjoy the walk, I enjoy the walk, and we all enjoy the walk, which means more walks.

For those of you keeping count; half ball, then quarter ball became no ball recently, so I'm down to one ball.

My favorite ring became a noodle, and while I still enjoy playing tug with it, it also makes a lovely pillow.

Since ball went away, and noodle isn't as fun as a ring, I've dragged a new ball and new ring inside the house.

Last night I noticed that Bleeder was watching the Instagrams and laughing, then got on her computer and ordered something. I waited for her to go get some coffee and checked her browser history and found that she ordered me one of these to play with. I'm very excited and can't wait for it to arrive. If you have the Instagrams, you can see more pups playing with one here.

Now if you'll excuse me...

It was pancake Sunday this morning and I'm very tired from my feast.

The Art of Eating

 I like routine.

My handlers are hell bent on not being routine because they say that routines make you complacent and then when something different happens and the routine is ruined, then you feel stressed.

There is an entire month of difference and it is named UGHust.

Nothing has been routine since this month started, and all of this change in routine, different people coming in, the handlers are stressing about things, coming and going, people coming and going, one leaves, the other stays, they both leave, they both come back, the new loud alarm thing. I'm actually the ONLY one dealing well with all of this difference in routine.

Let me know when you're done freaking out, I'll be out here

I had JUST trained Bleeder to stuff my pink bone with cheeses and goodies and tasties (oh my) so I would be preoccupied for 5 minutes and give her some peace and quiet and all of that just POOF went away just because I would forego my dinner to make room for all of the treats. 

I know that I need to watch my figure, and stalking only takes up so many calories and steps, so I thought it was only fair that I trade out my kibble portion for the cheese bone treats. My handlers did not see it the same way. They seem to think that I NEEDED to eat my kibble BEFORE I got my cheese treats. OH COME ON, I've seen Bleeder eat cheesecake for breakfast (and not share), so don't give me that whole you. have to eat your dinner before dessert spiel.

My kibble strike went on for 2 days. To make up for not eating, I was grazing in the yard and I may have eaten too much grass and when my poo got a bit... grassy, the Handlers gave me tasty canned salmon food mixed with rice and warm water. That was nice. What wasn't nice was no treats. None. My tasty crate kong was full of... KIBBLE.

Wasting away... in my crate

I found another supplement that came from a box in the bedroom called "nose candy". These pillowy little sheets in snack sizes are easily dispensed, shredded, and consumed. I feel that it's just a fiber supplement. The Handlers think that it's not for eating, but for blowing their nose in and disposing.

Anyway, I may have snacked on a few too many, and my poo was a bit thick. Bleeder called it Pooper Mache and threatened to display it as a sculpture. From then on, they've hidden those treat dispensers. Unfortunately this was also an issue with my predecessors, so my Handlers know all of the tricks already. So unfair. I need to up my game.

Since I was on a strict dog food only diet for the next few days, I felt it only fair that I help them to lose a few pounds. If I can't share with them, they can't have anything. So I blockaded the kitchen and fridge.

Gotta pay the snax tax before you can enter

Finally I got so hungry that I ate the plain kibble with cheese sprinkle and an amazing thing happened... I got dessert cheese bone! 

Then I ate my breakfast bowl clean and I got bread from Toast

I LOVE bread. I love bread more than cheese. I KNOW, RIGHT?!?!?! Especially the bread called baguette. It's chewy and crunchy and tasty!

So, what have I learned this month so far?

1.) I have to eat my kibble in order to get tasty treats. This sucks.

2.) Baguette is tasty, so I'll choke down my kibble if I get more of that.

3.) Bleeder can't match clothes for instance, she mainly wears gray and black outfits, but when she tries other colors she looks like a parade float has exploded. for instance:

She bought these protective sleeve things for yard work and times when I'm a bit rambunctious and in the clawing mood because I can just look at her and make her bleed or bruise. I pointed out something quite obvious... there is nothing in her closet that matches these horrific things. She'll wear them anyway. 

They say dogs are color blind...

What a Wacky Two Weeks

 Hey, yes, I'm still here, but my computer hasn't been so I couldn't blog.

This has been a wacky two weeks here in my house. Lightning struck something near us (it blowed up our neighbor's tree bark), and we had a pretty sparkly blue light show on the computer hub under the tv.

From there on, it's been nothing but non-stop fixing everything that got blowed up in the house and that required strangers coming in to fix or replace various and sundry things, and more scheduled for later.

My computer went to the shop and got picked up yesterday. Bleeder had to reinstall things and update things, and tweak things, and then spent time on the socials and I glared at her and reminded her it was blog time, so she's sitting on the couch pouting now.

One of the things that blowed up was the security system, so that got replaced and new and improved things. One of the new and improved things was the way that it announced that it was being armed. 

The old one just beeped a lot and then beeped faster and then stopped. That was fine.

The new one SCREECHES AND BEEPS AND FLASHES AND SCREAMS, WHOOPS, HOLLERS and that REALLY scared the crap out of me and I sang the song of my people. Thankfully Bleeder and Toast can monitor me, saw what happened and stopped the horrible cacophony and then I heard Bleeder calling to me from the ceiling that it was ok, and I was fine. I calmed down quickly and ate my kong goodie, but couldn't help thinking "why is Bleeder on the roof?" When only Toast came home, I made sure to stick real close to him in case that racket started again.

They have come and gone a few times since then and it hasn't made that noise again, so I'm getting more relaxed about the whole thing. I'm still miffed that I can't snoopervise the repair people though.

Bleeder's truck was in the shop since forever, and she was in a snit of epic proportions about that. When she finally got it back she was so happy and I wanted to celebrate its return with her, and I may have gotten a bit carried away and accidentally clawed her arm.

 I swear, she's got skin like wet toilet paper, I barely touched her. That may or may not have had anything to do with them taking me to go get my nails trimmed. They claim they made the appointment a week ago, but it's a bit too coincidental. Of course, as we came out of the house, Bleeder got her right index finger caught on the leash and it sawed off a big chunk of skin near the nail. Normally she carries a bag of bandaids, but since we were just running to the vet, she had to use her jeans. She's so embarrassing when we go out. Not only can't she match clothes, but there's usually blood, stains, and food on them.

Naturally I was adorable and well behaved at the vet, and they easily clipped my nails without a struggle or blood letting and then pranced back into the waiting room. I asked them to leave one dew claw with a sharp bit... just for special occasions, like when the existing 6 bandaids get healed and removed.

Right now I'm on day 2 of "I refuse to eat my kibble, please give me cheese or just canned food instead" strike. I can tell by the breakfast kibble still in my bowl and no treats that my kibble strike will be coming to an end quickly. 

That's about it for now. I continue to love the wonky dog door. Oh right, that's another thing that needs fixed because it was installed wrong and we're waiting for that to get fixed, but my part works perfectly... and I can easily bring in live cicadas!