New Year? What's a Year?

 Out of the blue, Bleeder stayed home for a very long time, and I was very happy. I love having my personal assistant with me at all times, and frankly when she leaves to go off and do work for others, it makes me really mad.

I'm supposed to be your only client

Bleeder and Toast spent a lot of time cleaning their clutter out of a back room and hauling it away. During the times when the front door wasn't open and I was locked behind the stairway gate, I got to assist with this decluttering by:

• Standing in their way
• Standing directly under some precariously balanced boxes
• Sniffing places that I was told was dangerous
• Chewing things found on the floor and being chased and bribed
• Not "getting out of their way" when told
• Barging in and taking over supervisory duties when I felt a box needed to be placed on the floor for sniffing purposes

I've never seen the downstairs back room so clean before! Now I'm able to go back there and sniff new things (except that mitre saw, for some odd reason), and paw through the stack of papers that Toast is trying to scan and shred (I'm also not allowed near the shredder, for some odd reason), and generally help sort through the stuff and decide what stays and what goes. I have free leash to walk in the back room now... which means I don't want to walk in the back room now. What fun is going into a room I can go into freely.

During one of the days that they call "Christmas" I was given a wonderful gift!

It was called a "lambchop" for some reason. I had to check to make sure it was suitable.

Hey, how about a little privacy, I'm getting to know this lambchop

The first order of business was to rip out its tongue, which I served with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti. Can't have it screaming all the time.

Then I ripped its face off.

It did make a nice pillow when I was tired of gnawing on it

Or when I wanted to gnaw, but was just a bit worn out.

3 Days later...

I also got a chicken. I still have the chicken, but one leg and its squeaker is gone

I have to say, I really enjoyed that Christmas thing... the New Year thing though... not so much.

There were no gifts at all, and people were making very loud booming noises in the middle of the night. I was perturbed and woke up Toast and Bleeder to express my dissatisfaction was the noise. Wasn't there some kind of law about this?

I was out in the yard trying to take a peaceful pee and next thing I know I'm being bombarded with sparkly things in the sky and booming.

According to Bleeder, I'm not as affected by them as Meeshka and Loki were, and she told me that she is thankful that I don't immediately pee on the bed and claw her, I just demand treats and play time when I'm anxious.

I also don't know what a "new year" is. It's just another day and it is my opinion that every day should be spent by waking up and having fun without the use of loud munitions, so why do humans celebrate one particular day... there's a lot of days, celebrate them (quietly) by having fun, not waiting around for one particular day. 

Daylight is wasting, let's get in that muddy yard and play!

In case you need a way to block out the noise of life, I highly suggest wearing a stylish pink dinosaur on your head.

Happy New Day to you all... now get up and go play.

It's a Hard Life

 While I'm waiting for the weather outside to be frightful, and I don't mean buckets of rain, I spend the mild temperatures out on my deck or on the lawn because there are an awful lot of rude birds and squirrels around here. Somebody has to keep them off my lawn.

My latest hobby is paw modeling.

If you order now, you can get two bricks for the price of one, just pay shipping and handling

Here we have some very lovely bricks covering the holes I've dug...

When I'm not paw modeling, then I'm working toward the total destruction of all pink dinosaurs. I prefer to do that on my deck perch so I can watch out for trespassers.

Was that a squirrel?

Bleeder sits out on the deck with me, but she complains about how hard the boards are on her butt.

You have plenty of butt padding, Bleeder, I don't know what you're complaining about

Was that a squirrel?

All of this work is, of course, very exhausting, not to mention all the exercise I get from wanting in, wanting out, wanting in, wanting out, play with me, don't play with me, pet me, stop petting me, let me roll in this dead thing, and watch out, I just pooped in those leaves.

Naps are essential.

Not for the Faint of Heart

 Yeah, yeah, I'm not a regular husky, so don't be expecting regular posts, I'm too busy having fun and creating bruise artwork on Bleeder, or using her as a pillow:

I've said it before, but I'll say it again, so pay attention:

I have epilepsy.

Heartworm pills set off my seizures

Yes, ALL of the heartworm pills.

3-10 days after taking a heartworm pill, I'll have a seizure.

Heartworm pills are nothing but a neurotoxin in doses that kill the stupid little bugs that grow into large bugs that are injected by infected mosquitos. In me, it sets off my seizure trigger.

My choices are:

• Don't take any heartworm pills and risk dying of heartworm disease
• Take them while also taking anti-seizure medications and hope that staves off the seizure.

So, I take monthly heartworm pills while also taking anti-seizure medications (generic Keppra). I get my 2 Keppra pills three times a day, 8 hours apart with whipped cream cheese. Once a month I get the lowest dosage of heartworm pills for my weight.

Once a month, for 3-10 days, my humans are nervous wrecks. I am oblivious and go about my days like normal.

On Thursday (day 7) I had a recheck with my neurologist. He has three assistants and they sat on the floor, so I made sure to give them the full husky attention. My owners proudly talked about how I've been doing fantastic, no seizures for over 3 months, everything going well, optimistic, wonderful, very pleased. Keep doing what we're doing he said. Hope for the best he said. Seizures are stupid and nobody knows what the heckin to expect so do what works for each pupper (I'm paraphrasing that).

On Friday (day 8) I puked, fell over (that's how all of them start) then woke up in a puddle of drool and pee.

I don't feel them, I have no clue what the fluff even happens, so I'm confused when I wake up, and frankly this time I bit my tongue a little and that was annoying.

I'm clingy and restless for about an hour, and need to poop immediately, so I'm ushered outside where EVERYTHING SMELLS AMAZING. Then I poop. Then I pace, pace, pace while one of them tries to towel the drool and gunk off of me (I prefer to wipe my mouth on their clothes), and steam clean up my drool and pee.

The humans are always freaked out, according to them, it's horrible to watch, but they say they stay with me to make sure I'm safe and don't bonk my head or other things into hard objects and tell me I'm a good girl (because I am). They move away from me when I come out of it because they know I'll be confused and may be afraid and try to attack them if I feel vulnerable and threatened.

They are watchful because with seizures, you never know if that was the first and only... or if more are coming. During seizures they video me, and time them... anything over 5 minutes is very bad. According to them, even 1-2 minutes seems like an eternity.

I have an amazing amount of energy after a seizure. I want to play, play, play and they do play play play with me once I have my balance back... I'm a bit wobbly in the beginning, but I'm actually not that coordinated under normal circumstances.

When I do finally rest, I rest pretty hard.

It takes a day or two to recover fully, muscles a bit sore, stomach a bit upset, etc. But then it's back to normal... except for the humans, who watch me like a hawk and log my every movement, burp, hiccup, bowl movement, food intake, and pilling.

Seizures suck. I have epilepsy. Would I have them if I didn't take the heartworm pill? Don't know, but until my humans can find some state that doesn't have stupid mosquitos... we just do what we need to do to keep them at a minimum and hope for the best.

We thank all of our social media fans for their care and concern. Feel free to let us know if you live some place in the United States where your pup is not on heartworm because the risk is low to non-existent. It also has to be a place with good access to vet care (neurology included) and Emergency vet services.

Big shout out to Chewy.com for affordable and reliable Pharmacy services that keep my generic Keppra flowing without drama.

UPDATE - We have now switched Casey to oral Ivermectin compounded by the wonderful Chewy pharmacy instead of heartworm pills to minimize unnecessary neurotoxins). So far, so good.

This will probably be the last post about my epilepsy, as I don't want my fun blog to become a downer. I am a normal pup 99% of the time, it's just those bad days that ruin the mood. 

-Casey-

I Told Them So

For the past week there's been something smelly behind the fence.

I sniffed, snorfled, and paced back there and Toast and Bleeder were all "there's nothing back there, leave it".

But there was something back there, and on Saturday I almost caught it.

There we were, out in the yard at O'Dark Thirty... an intruder had breached my perimeter and I was having none of that, so I chased it up the tree.

Bleary eyed Bleeder didn't see what it was because she had her nose so deep in her phone and didn't look up until the intruder had scampered up the tree. I tried to follow, but climbing trees isn't within my skill set, so I just glared up in the tree.

My glaring should have been a clear signal to Bleeder to climb up that tree and throw the intruder down to me so I could take care of it... instead she ignored me and told me to go inside... for a treat.

A treat? While an intruder is trespassing in my tree?  What kind of treat?

I went inside, because there was a treat, but I wasn't happy about it.

They wouldn't let me go out again until daylight, and only after Bleeder searched the yard and inspected the trees to make sure nothing was out there. Like I can't handle myself or something. eeesh.

So, the day goes by, it's getting cooler, which means I can play in the yard without overheating, so we played a lot in the yard, and we had fun... but I had a feeling.

Later in the afternoon when we had finished playing and I was testing the firmness of a lovely stick I had found, Bleeder and Toast were chatting about something stupid and Bleeder looks up and sees this high up in the tree.

 TRASH PANDA! 

The trespasser I tried to evict from the yard!

It was just staring at us... like we were the problem. The gall of that trash panda!

I was immediately escorted back inside, like it would fling itself down onto us or something. I'D LIKE TO SEE IT TRY THAT! But I was not allowed to see if it would try that.

There were phone calls made, and no calls returned, because it's hard to find good help these days (or other words used by Toast), so the plan was to leash me up whenever I had to pee or that other thing, and keep me within the confines of the area of new grass that I shall not be allowed into until the grass has grown and then I'll be able to dig it all up with giant holes (I added that last part).

So, that's what we did until it got dark. Then Bleeder spied on the trash panda as it slowly made its way down the tree, and then tip-toed over to another tree, and climbed that, used some overhanging branches to get over the fence and make its escape.

After Bleeder was sure it had vamoosed, they took me out on the leash again, but I REALLY had to poop, and I only poop in one spot (near the tree in question), so they finally took me out of the little fenced area on the leash and allowed me to do my unfinished business in my official poop spot, and then we went to bed (after my medicinal cream cheese).

The next morning I had to wait with legs crossed while Bleeder went out with a flashlight (probably freaking out all of the neighbors) to search the trees and entire yard before announcing it was safe, and I went out for my morning constitutional. There were no enticing sniffs of it left, but I will remember you trash panda... don't come back here, I'm waiting for you.

Betrayed

 I will be totally straight forward and honest because I am an honorable puppy:

I have water issues.

I don't like to drink filtered fridge water, I prefer lukewarm tap water.

I will stick my head in the shower when someone is in there, I will lick the bath tub after they shower, but I will NOT get in the tub if there is water in it, nor will I get all the way in if the shower is left running.

I don't mind rain. I like rain. I like mud. I will lay in mud... 

BUT I HATE THE SPRINKLERS!

The sprinklers are supposed to go off at certain times when I'm not outside.

The sprinklers are supposed to ONLY go off when I'm not out there.

The humans are supposed to tell me if the sprinklers are about to go on, and I will absolutely NOT leave the deck if they are on.

So yesterday when I go out to do my afternoon constitutional at my usual time, and I search and finally find my perfect poo spot, then I get into position...

THE SPRINKLER TURNED ON!!!!

I'm already in position over the perfect poo spot, it's not like I can abandon the mission, things are in motion, and there's no stopping that.

I had to stand there and take it.

There were glares and words.

I may have even rubbed my wet fluff on Toast, but there will be a reckoning... 

My Work is Never Done

Now that the weather is FINALLY turning cooler, I have high hopes for snow this year. I know the humans are also hoping for snow, as they are utterly disgusted (as am I) with all the tasty, tasty bugs, and the heat, the humidity, the ghastly hotness of the summer, and my lack of proper exercise because it is so hot outside that I am forced to ricochet off the bed while they are still in it for my daily step count. Hey, I gotta keep in shape somehow.

Besides, their idea of "enrichment" is pathetic. For example: escape the dirty sheets.

Seriously?

I did enjoy: destroy the box.

Even better is that Toast no longer has "core hours". The stupid, yet very tasty, work laptop is gone, and now he has nothing but Casey time during the day.

I didn't realize that no core hours meant that I would be assisting him with the chores though, I just thought that I could bounce off of him, pull the rope with him, and stick my nose in his face while he napped all the time now instead of after the laptop got put up.

Enrichment doesn't mean helping with laundry, wiping my muddy feet before coming into the house, and being expected not to rip up vulnerable bits of apparently important paperwork as he sorts through them.

I'm also expected NOT to dig in the carefully cultivated new tasty dirt with tender shoots of tasty grass area. Clearly the removal of the fencing means it is fair game, and like all huskies through time, I totally ignored the lack of fencing for an entire day (come on, that's like a record) fooling them into thinking that I felt this "new" playground was off limits.

Oh no, I was just waiting for the prime audience viewing moment when both of them were present before going bat poop crazy on it.

As expected, the fence went back up, my work here is done.

Anyhoooo, yep, we're all happy with the cooler temperatures, and I've resumed my soccer goalie practice, my zooming around the yard, body checking Bleeder, and yard tug. 

By the way, I do approve of my new viewing windows. I get a much clearer view of the neighborhood and I do not approve of the new planters the people across the street put in, I think they are too gaudy and clashes with their brick facade.

Seriously? That's hideous, did Bleeder design those?

Just Another Day

 Doo doo doo doot doot doo, it's just another day

Give me that cookie

GIVE ME THAT COOKIE

you gonna eat all that?

While you're up, get me a cookie

Hey, it's rude to stare at people when they're eating

Nap time

Drastic Measures

 Bleeder was ignoring me.

She ignored me when I tossed my Woof ball at her so she could refill it.

She ignored my claw

The only thing left to do... steal her chair.

Sometimes you just have to take drastic measures to train your humans to do your bidding

Everything's Fine

 Don't freak out over the lack of blogging. I rely on Bleeder to transcribe for me, and she's just a miserable, lazy person... for instance, I want a cookie, and she has yet to get up and fetch me one.

In my last post I mentioned that I was given my heartworm pill and Bleeder and Toast were on seizure watch... well, exactly 7 days (144 hours) after I took it, sure enough in the morning I was all punky and then vomited a lovely technicolor bile/water mixture, and normally I would puke 2 more times and then have a seizure, but this time (thanks to the anti-seizure medicine), I was only a little wonky and pukey for a bit and then went back to semi-normal. Semi-normal because nobody likes to horka, and I was a bit freaked out by things, like bright lights, and loud noises.

Fortunately for me my non-seizure day was the day my humans had workmen in to install new windows in the house including my Gladys Kravitz window.

I was shoved downstairs with Bleeder watching closely while the workmen banged and clanged and walked in and out, in and out, more banging, clanging and frankly I pretty much semi-supervised...

HEY! Be careful with that window, it's MINE!

and I also hide under the chair and the treadmill because the light was too bright, and the workmen were loud and I'm very sensitive after these "episodes".

It was very nice and cold downstairs though. Bleeder actually turned a bit blue. I don't understand why she just didn't go upstairs and get a coat, it's not like she doesn't have a coat, she has way too many coats. Afterwards she remarked "why didn't I get a coat or shut the air vents?" and I responded: "because you're a moron.", and she agreed. She muttered something about hating split level houses and moving. 

Since the "episode" I'm normal again, still getting my 3 times a day pills, but now I just get them with tasty peanut butter, or with cream cheese. My new window is AMAZING! It's very clear to see EVERYTHING going on in the neighborhood, and it doesn't fog up like the other window. I'm slightly disappointed that the rim is made of metal and not chewable... I tried, it tasted horrible and they yelled at me.

One dastardly thing is that I'm on a diet. The humans have determine that I'm getting too close to outweighing the minimum heartworm dose they've put me on to give me less neurotoxins and therefore less of a "reaction".

They even have a detailed spreadsheet and mark down EVERYTHING I eat! Did you know that june bugs are 201 calories? SERIOUSLY! I barely get enough to eat in a day. My unlimited supply of after dinner treats have been severely curtailed, no more frivolous amounts of french fries. It's indogmane. 

Every few days they make me sit pretty on the scale for half a slice of provolone cheese (40 calories) but to me, that's worth a whole slice. I am losing weight though, so I guess that's a good thing.

On the bright side, Bleeder cooks up a tasty batch of boiled ground turkey to sprinkle in my foods every feedings with warm water gravy and kibble to help fill me up... and my poops are AMAZING.

They run me ragged with my dinosaur toys (which I have yet to destroy...GODOG), and I even get to take them outside for a bit of squirrel watching with me.

Keep a close eye out T-rex, the squirrels are wily

Speaking of squirrels, they seem to have disappeared now that their escape tree is went on vacation. Bleeder was out hacking back some more shrubbery along the fence that they used to sneak into the yard... so they don't come here no more. Very disappointing.

I've also discovered a very comfy place where I can lay on Toast's feet (Bleeder needs to dust) 

but I prefer napping on the couch on my personal pillow with him and leave no room for Bleeder.

She's horrible anyway, what with holding out on the treats.

And Now We Wait

 Happy Sunday everyone,

There was no pancake Sunday today (although I did have some bites of hash browns) because the humans are on battle stations, all eyes on me, seizure count down.

In case you haven't read my other posts (shame... shame), it is the medical opinion of my humans and my neurosurgeon that heartworm medication triggers my seizures. That's why I'm on a seizure preventative medication (the Lee pill, or as the humans now call it: pew pew... my humans are ridiculous and actually sing a pew pew song when they gather up the pills and treats before pilling me... this is unnecessary because I'll literally do anything for a treat).

I digress... 

I'll be taking anti-seizure meds until it's cold enough to kill the vile mosquitos, at which time I'll be tapered off the pew pews, and won't take heartworm preventative until mosquito season again, at which point, back on the seizure meds. This is also why the humans are looking at relocating to Antarctica. 

I digress again.

Yesterday I had my heartworm pills. Since I am a svelte 64 pounds, I was prescribed a dose for dogs 50 to 100 lbs. In order to limit the amount of neurotoxins I'm receiving, we consulted with the makers of Heartgard, and my vet and changed my dose to 1 pill for up to 25lbs, and 1 pill for up to 50lbs, which means I'm getting A LOT LESS neurotoxins, but still covered on the heartworm front.

I know this is very complicated and requires maths, but the humans are doing everything possible to keep me from having another seizure and are totally freaked out about whether it will happen this time... which means that immediately after I took all of my pills... I got my head stuck in the deck railing, ate an unauthorized bug, fell up the stairs, got a tug rope string caught in my front teeth, and ran into a wall.

They claim I do all of this just for the attention and to drive them to early graves. Some of that may be true.

In the meantime, I assure you that I am as devious, playful, and annoying as ever, especially because I know they are worried and will give me just about anything I ask... go in, go out, go in, go out, play with me, I don't want to play, why did you leave I want to play, please allow me to put my full weight on your broken big toe, excuse me Bleeder, you aren't wearing band-aids, let me take care of that for you.

They took away my tug ropes (due to the tug string in tooth incident) but now I have no way to vent my frustrations and rip their arms out of their sockets. This means I have to destroy my hedgehog named Jeremy.

Fishy went to the great fish farm in the sky

Wally Gator still lives, Mr. Buttons the bear only has stuffing in his head, but I want to tug and pull on things. 

Gator goes better with paper packing

Unfortunately my Amazon order of new things to tug that don't require ropes won't arrive until tomorrow, so Bleeder pulled down the secondary goat for me to attack.

I've already dislodged a hoof so it's a matter of time before it goes to the farm.

Once I get my new tug toys I'll be sure to rate them all for you, and let you know how long they last. I'm not optimistic about liking them because there's nothing quite like the taste and feel of rope... or stuffed squeaker toy guts.

I'll let you know about the whole seizure crap. Typically 3-7 days after... I'm going to see if I can guilt the humans into getting me a pony.

-Casey-

I'm Worn Out

So, my pills make me sleepy, which is fine. On average a dog will sleep about 23 hours a day without medication and it is quite possible that the number I've stated is lower.

Now that I'm on a 3-times a day schedule, I have to wait a full 8 hours between meals. This is barbarous. How can something be expected to thrive when they have to wait that long between meals?

I'm not allowed snacks in the morning because I receive my 1pm pills in tiny sandwiches. Morning and night they are jammed down my throat, but the 1pm is a delicious little picnic of various tiny sandwiches, and then I get my lunch. Something about Toast needing me to be very hungry so I don't chew my pills. It works. I'll gulp those tiny sandwiches down to get to the next tiny sandwich, and then to my lunch because I'm wasting away.

Needless to say, I've been a big fan of my kibble (with just a touch of boiled chicken, a warm water broth and a tiny sprinkly of cheese on top) since this new routine. Bleeder devised a spreadsheet to determine the amount of calories I'm allowed including treats, which isn't nearly the amount of treats I'm used to, but I'm usually pretty full from the soup to care.

Just before my night pills, I get a snack of crunchy plain kibble

This is a good batch of kibbles with a decent shreds ratio

Anywhoooo, since I sleep a lot, Toast and Bleeder have devised new ways to exercise me. Normally they would take me outside and I would play "goalie" by blocking the soccer ball and flinging it back at them, with the occasional skitter jump at them. I like to Parkour off of humans. But currently it is about 350 degrees with 200% humidity, perfect weather to roast a small turkey with stuffing. I'm not going out in that, unless I have to pee and poo, then I'll go out, do that, run back inside.

So, inside games consist of tug of rope and rip an arm off a human. I'm very serious about this game and I will rip an arm off eventually, I am sure of it.

The other game is toss the stuffed toy. I have quite an array of stuffed toys:

I play with Mr. Buttons the bear (who also makes a wonderful pillow... until I ripped all of the stuffing out of him except for his head.

They got me a giant octopus, who lasted about 3 days and then I lobotomized it.

Then I destroyed and gutted a fainting goat.

Then I eviscerated the aligator

Pay no attention to Bleeder's hideous "house" shoes

So far, only blue gator, hedgehog and fishy have survived the crucible.

Hedgie is fun to gnaw on

So, the lessons learned in this are:

• Don't waste your money on the "tough" toys. The overly stuffed, overly sewn on edges are just invitations to chew, rip, and tear out the fluff.
• The GoDog brand of soft squeaker toys last the longest. I'm not saying forever, I'm just saying there's nothing like blowing 20 bucks on an "indestructible" toy only to have it last 5 minutes.
• Always supervise with these stuffed things. Even though I no longer eat the fluff, your pup might and that is NOT a good thing.
• Buy a slightly bigger toy, never a smaller toy. You don't want a choke hazard. I used to take the unstuffed toys and try to cram them into my mouth so Bleeder couldn't take them away from me... I know, I know I shouldn't do that, but I know they go in the trash, I'm just trying to save them.

So, there you have it, now go tell your humans to buy you decent squeaker toys and stop believing the "tough and indestructible" promises. They aren't, you will, and the only difference is the amount of time, so get the GoDog toys and you can get a few weeks of good fun before you break into a violent rage and shred it... as it always happens.

-Casey-