Wanted: Someone to pay attention to me

Here we are... just waiting for our turn at having some attention. Below us, gated away from us, is the suck up bionic hip spineless puppy Sam, who gets massages, tasty foods, treats whenever he wants them, and the undivided attention of the human man and woman.

It really is maniacal how he's deviously twisted them around his little paw. I do have to give him credit for acting all needy and pathetic. He now lays on a cushy pillow and watches tv, he gets massages, treats, and attention whenever he wants. Sure he's locked in a big spacious crate a lot, but he isn't required to do anything other than sleep, eat, and poo. They let him get away with peeing in the house (although that has stopped when they cut his medication), he doesn't have to "sit" or "look fluffy" or do anything else. He whines, they come running. Just today I whined. Loki had sprawled himself out all over the hallway and I couldn't pass him. I asked nicely for the human woman to remove this obstacle from my path. She just looked at me and told me to step over him. Step over him? Is she insane? She didn't immediately run over and remove this impediment from my path, she just laughed at my predicament! Had it been Sammy asking her to move the big lump of Loki out of his way and I'm sure she would have leapt to her feet, scooped the growly little mutatoe out of the way and then carried Sam into the room for a treat. Me... I get "step over him".

Sammy is doing his best to get the best treatment he can get, and while I can't blame him for asking for, and getting all this special treatment... its not fair that he can show the humans that shaved back and surgery scar and just name his price. Hmmm, not that I would actually go out and hurt myself or anything, but maybe if I limped I would get some extra attention.

Meeshka (which foot should I limp on?)

New HULA Member: Kelsey

Dear Meeshka,

I would like to apply to HULA. I have been doing some fun things around the house lately, and I feel that they will help me be inducted as a proud HULA member.

1. I ate mom's new purse. It was chocolate colored leather. You know, the thick expensive DELICIOUS kind. She was sleeping. She woke up and came down the stairs to find that her new purse was missing. Hmmm, I wonder where it could have gone?! Well, as you can see, it and all of it's contents went out the doggie door. I buried her wallet in a hole (which she later found) and I chewed up that purse until I felt satisfied that I had done a good enough job, which means to me that it is not repairable.





2. I made mom freak out by bringing in a little mouse (dead of course) and dropping it on the floor beside her. She screamed and yelled! It was hilarious. Then, I ATE IT! Yup, she tried to get it away from me, but when she reached for it, I gobbled it up. Happy Birthday mom!




3. I knocked over the trash can, I spilled water, I tracked in mud, and I slept on her foot that she just had surgery on. How's that for disruptive?

I hope to become an honorary HULA member. I hope that I've provided enough proof of my worthiness.

Hugs and Drool,

Kelsey

(nice work on the purse, that really drives them nuts - Meeshka)

Sometimes, you just gotta claw

I’ve been good, very good. I’ve been cute, fluffy, and very understanding that Sammy needs more attention and better food, and more attention, and really good food, and a nice tasty chewy, and more attention, but I couldn’t stand it any longer last night.

I admit, I had a bit of a temper tantrum. We had been ignored long enough and I wanted attention!

The humans came home from work and it was all about Sammy. Sammy, Sammy, Sammy! They gave him really good tasty food, and the human woman was hand feeding him all of the yummy treats that we don’t get anymore, all of this in front of us! At lunch I sat there and watched the human woman share her macaroni and cheese with him!

That’s just too much! I have to draw the line somewhere!

So... I clawed them both. Oh yeah, they deserved it. They tried to sit in their computer room and ignore us even more, but we wouldn’t let them. Even the suck up mutatoe was mad at being ignored and yapped and yapped and yapped while I clawed and clawed. I stomped and woo’d, I clawed, I stomped, I demanded things, and they FINALLY paid us some attention. Oh sure, they tried throwing us outside, but we would go out there, turn around and claw at the door to be let in. We will NOT be thrown out like that we demanded our well deserved attention.

Whatever it was, it must have worked, because the human woman left Sammy in his crate most of the day and spent a lot of time with us. She even took a nap with us, and gave me a large part of the bed. I thought that was very nice of her, but she’s got a lot of sucking up to do before I’m going to forgive her.

Just when I thought we had turned her around and made her realize that we aren’t just here to be cute and fluffy... down she went to spend time with Sam. Sigh. I even heard that they plan on taking Sam out on a car trip, and he’s going to get to swim. I swear, there better be some big payback when he gets better.

Its About Freakin Time!

FINALLY we're getting snow!

The humans let us out through the downstairs door because they're afraid we'll slip and fall down the deck stairs (they're so silly), and we got to check out Sam's palatial new crate. It use to be MY crate back when I was a puppy, but then the other interlopers came and there wasn't room in the bedroom for my big estate, so I got a small crate... harumpf.

When Sammy had his bionic hip put in, they used MY big crate for his recovery crate. Today the human woman put it together again for him. They think that he was so miserable because he was cooped up in such a small crate, so now he gets the big crate. They even put a nice cover on the top and a cardboard box on the side so its like his own little den. Because the medication he's getting makes him drink and pee a lot, they didn't want him to have an accident in the crate (like he's had for the past few days) and then he'd be forced to lay in his pee. Gee, that's nice of them. With the big crate, if he does have an accident, there's still room for him to lay down and not roll around in pee.

Anyway, back to me... the human woman let us out in the snow and tried to get us to play in it. The suck up gimpy mutatoe was more than happy to dance and run around like an idiot, but all I wanted to do was lay in the comfy coolness of the snow, and eat some of it. Its very tasty. She snapped some pics of us in the snow and then let us inside again. We got to see Sam this time, and now he's very angry and wants out to play in the snow with us.

I have no idea why the human woman let us in, because I was perfectly happy sitting out there and getting a dusting of snow in my fluffiness. I clawed some sense into her, and she let us out on the deck to lay in the snow, but she blocked the stairs so we couldn't fall down them (like we're idiots or something).

So, its snowing, and might turn into ice later. We'd better not lose power or anything, the humans get all bent out of shape when that happens and they they try to use me to suck all the warmth from my fluff.

Meeshka
(better keep snowing, I'm a husky for crying out loud)

New HULA Members: Steve and Kat

Dear HULA Queen Meeshka,

We are very young huskies, only 10 weeks old, but already the comments on our blog have told us that we are perfect for HULA membership. So here is our formal membership request. We are also requesting membership for our older brother, Wilbur, because he’s the most dog-like cat to ever live and had began plots of world domination way before we joined the family. We are sure that he will only help you in your world domination mastermind plots, even though he is a cat and cats are generally mortal enemies. So here are our qualifications.

1. Demonstrating disruptive behavior - To be honest, so far we haven't been that disruptive except for our resistance to housebreaking and the fact that we are barking at each other or biting each other or wrestling each other constantly. Mom and Dad think this is quite disruptive. We think this is normal. We're sending a picture of us in mid-wrestle.

2. Cause your human to freak out for no real reason - Kat did this well when she fell while we were wrestling. She hit her head and acted all dazed which caused Mom to carry her around for like 30 minutes until Dad got there. At that point she just snapped out of it because she was ready to play again. Read all about it here.

3. Cause human guilt for no reason, other than to get attention or treats - This is an easy one. When you're as cute and fluffy as we are, all you have to do is sit and stare at any human and they will shower you with attention or treats. Like if they are yelling "no" too much, then just sit and stare at them and the loving will start. Automatically. It's amazing how easy it is.

4. Destroy something - We've already got some good holes started in the back yard and we've ripped up one of the bushes as well as eaten the label off the propane tank for the grill and chewed the starter for the grill off.

5. Human behavior modification - Does it count that now Mom and Dad don't ever get to sleep a full night because we have to be taken out to go to the bathroom? How about that we always wake up at 5:45 AM wanting food? What about the fact that when they get back from work their real work begins because they never know when we will decide to go to the bathroom in the house? So they never get to watch TV anymore. Dad has a new Xbox 360 that he has barely played due to the fact that we have to be monitored constantly. This is significant behavior modification from what we've heard about their previous existence.

6. Being dressed up as something for the humor of the humans - Mom put these silly Santa things around our necks. They had jingle bells on the ends. We thought they were chew toys, but she didn't think so. Attached is a picture of Steve showing his hatred of the Santa collar.

7. Love of kleenex - We just discovered what kleenex was last week when our mom was sick. They were all over the place and Steve especially thought they were tasty. Unfortunately Mom saw him eating it and pried his jaws open to get it out. The downside of being a puppy is that Mom is still strong enough to pry our jaws open.

Your humble Husky soldiers,
Steve and Kat
Steve and Kat’s blog

P.S. Please wish your brother a big "GET WELL SOON!" from us.

(Welcome to the HULA Hoop... sorry, no cats, unless you have pictures of their destruction - Meeshka)

Sam's Big Climb

Its certainly been an interesting day so far. In a fit of husky, while the human woman was up fixing our breakfast, Sam managed to pull down the baby gate downstairs and run up the stairs to the landing. Suck up mutatoe and I just sat and watched the fun as the human woman ran down the stairs to stop him. He was so proud of his accomplishment, and we applauded. That certainly got the human woman awake, but now Sam has lost his unattended downstairs privileges, and he got locked in the crate when nobody is down there. I’m sure he’ll find some other way to drive them insane, but it was so worth it after seeing the look of horror on the human woman’s face.

Mutatoe has found a weakness in the fencing yesterday, and he’s been working pretty hard to dig under it. The human woman sees it, covers it back up, Mutatoe digs again, human woman covers it up. Its only a matter of time before we succeed in an escape, although I have a feeling that the human woman will do something about this hole. Its pretty big, kinda hard to hide.

Guilt is a wonderful thing, and it just keeps getting rewarded! Today we’ve had human cookies, croissant, tons of treats just for doing what the human woman wants, we’ve been scratched, petted, played with, and generally sucked up to by both the human woman and man. We need to keep up the pathetic act, its really going well.

According to the human woman, its suppose to snow tomorrow night. Yeah right. It also may be icy rain, which has the human woman freaking out about us slipping and falling down the deck steps. Those steps are bit slippery when wet, so hopefully my razor sharp nails will keep me from falling, but the suckup gimpy mutatoe doesn’t stand a chance getting a grip with his pathetic little weenie nails. I wonder if this means we’ll get to go outside the normal way, and get closer to Sammy? Hmmm, that might be very interesting!

We’re still trying to keep up with his pee mail, which is getting hard to read because apparently the humans are drugging him to keep him calm. That hasn’t worked very well actually, as he’s been down there dutifully complaining and whining all day. He was very proud of his knocking down the baby gate and running up the stairs. He even avoided all of the pee pads the human woman put down and peed on the carpet and she didn’t yell at him or anything. We continue to get the same goodies that he gets in his food, which is really cool, and he said that they were going to go out and get some stuff to try to keep him occupied in his crate. He told us that he wasn’t going to like some of it, so that we’d get it. He’s so nice sometimes. Actually much nicer since he’s hurt himself, or maybe that’s because I don’t have to step over him to get down the hall, or move him because he’s in my bed spot. Its hard to tell.

Meeshka
(still not looking at you, and stop looking at me)

New Tactic for the Day

Both humans were home today, so I went for maximum pathetic. When they were down with Sam, I stuffed my head under the railing and whimpered oh so very quietly. Me efforts paid off when the human woman got up... and comforted Sam because she thought he was whining. Drat. Fine! Waited for her to sit down again, screwed up my face to look very needy (and fluffy) and whined a bit louder.

It worked, she immediately saw just how unhappy I was and came up to the landing and gave me attention. She’s like a puppet and I pull her strings.

Throughout the day, when Sammy was locked in his crate and the human woman was within claw reach, I’d lay on her foot and grind my chin into her flesh to make sure she knew I was there. That got me an ear scratch and attention. I got a kleenex (used) by looking very fluffy, and Loki gimpy mutatoe suckup and I got croissant later on when we both strategically placed ourselves in the hall so she’s have to step over us, and we synchronized a big sigh. It was wonderful.

Right before dinner, I tried the railing stare and cry technique, which was very successful again, and netted us beef chunks for dinner. We told Sam not to eat his beef chunks, as we wanted more, and he obliged. Score another victory for us.

All of that posing, whining, and acting pathetic really wore us out, so after dinner we decided to nap, that way we’d be good and wide awake later on for some serious bothering of the humans. We timed it to about the time when they’d normally take Sam out. First Loki barked REALLY loud in that ear piercing yap of his, and that got him thrown outside, just as we planned. Minutes later, I woo’d down the hallway, and yep, got shown the door to the deck. This caused the humans to get up and check on Sam, who had wheedled his way into being allowed to sleep outside of his crate for the rest of the night. He’s been so cramped in that crate, and has to pee a lot (we can barely keep up with all of his pee mail in the yard he pees so much), so the humans are trying to see if he will behave on his own outside of the crate. He’s lulling them into a false sense of security, and then will destroy something of great importance.

Tonight is the human man’s turn to sleep in our bed. We will make sure to wake him up every hour by batting him or clawing him. He doesn’t move for us when WE want a particular part of the bed, much like the human woman does, so we have to make it very uncomfortable for him to sleep up with us, unless he allows us our proper bed amount.

The humans did tell us that Sammy now has a lot more plates than he did right after the surgery. Apparently he’s gotten more than double the plates that he had, so they were very happy. If I had known that they wanted us around only for our place settings, I would have found another home long ago. I need to keep my eye on this using us to set a dinner table thing. Just to be on the safe side, they’re sending his blood for more testing, and probably to get more plates from him, perhaps some cutlery and those stupid roll things you put napkins through.

Meeshka
(beef in a can is good, but I’m still not looking at you)

My Boring Life

I'm trying very hard to be good... really I am. Its just so very hard when you are so use to being the center of the human universe, and being scratched all the time when you demand it. Its so bad around here that I haven't had ANY tasty kleenex in a long time!

Today was typical. Humans spending time with that gimpy Sam. He even got to leave the house again. When he came back and the humans had left, he told us that he went back to that clinic place again and had more blood drawn. Apparently the humans think that the plates are in his blood and they hope to see more plates when they get these results back. I would think that if all they wanted was more plates, they could go to a store and buy them!

Sammy didn't get to go for a swim, but I heard the humans talking about taking him for swims later. I wonder if they would take me for a swim sometime. I have no idea if fluff is bouyant or not, perhaps I would just sink to the bottom with all of my wet fluffiness.

The human woman did spend some more time with us today. Apparently the human man had Sam guard duty. He's been doing silly things like trying to push the gate aside to run up the stairs, and he's actually managed to pee in the house and the humans let him! This is quite a HULA accomplishment for him, I'm very proud.

So, I chose to ignore the human woman today. Refused to get out of my crate when she called to me. Glared at her until she bribed me with a treat, then I took the treat and flounced off. That got me a used kleenex because she was so upset that I was upset, she wanted to make me happy. I tried not to laugh when I took my goody, I didn't want her to see that I was pleased with getting what I wanted. She's really tried to suck up to me tonight, but I'm being aloof and stand-offish. I'm guessing I'll get a lot of goodies out of this.

Meeshka
(no, I'm not even going to look at you)

Got Some Attention Today

The human man was sick today, so the human woman had to take care of Sam, take care of us, work, go someplace and work, come back and do more work, and she’s about ready to go off the deep end.

To help her along, I’ve been a fluffy good girl. I only clawed once or twice on the kitchen door to be let in, I clawed her leg ONCE today (but she deserved it), I’ve demanded my food but only because she was 2 minutes late with feeding us. I even stood prettily for her while she took pictures of me.

Just to give her a laugh, I even chased the gimpy mutatoe around the yard and ran a bit, that always makes her smile.

Sammy sent us a bit of pee mail today in the yard. He says he’s doing fine, but he’s sick of the crate and will do just about anything to get the humans to leave him out for longer periods of time so he can lay on the soft, stinky human woman jacket. Today he screamed and woo’d and woo’d and woo’d some more. The humans didn’t fall for it, although he did get a two hour out of the crate relaxing and attention time from the human man after they fed and pilled him. He says the pills tasty yucky too.

I have some HULA applications that I’ll be posting in the next day or two. Man are they good ones too. Hehehe. You guys are good, I really appreciate your keeping my spirits up with all of the devious things you come up with to drive your humans insane. Until Sam is back on all 4 feet, I have vowed to be nice to the humans, and therefore can’t do anything fun until then. This is a bummer for me, I’m just itching to rip up a couch or something.

Meeshka

Its So NOT About Me Lately

This whole Sammy spine recovery is totally eating into my ME time here at the house. I'm about ready to pack my bags and move out to someplace where gimpies don't always get all of the attention.

Oh, sure, he's a good gimpy, I love him and all (don't tell him that), but good grief, the human woman spends a lot of time downstairs with him, and the human man spends a lot of time with him, and we just sit upstairs and look down on them while Sammy is getting all sorts of goodies, and petting, and attention, and gets to pick which shows he watches on tv, and gets the yard all to himself. Its like the suck up mutatoe and I are second class huskies around here.

He's been getting more time out of his crate too, but only if one of the humans is down there with him. He's been sleeping on a jacket down there that he finds comforting (so he says) and now complains very loudly when they put him back in the crate. This is the human woman's interpretation of what he looks like in the crate:

He does look about that pathetic I imagine.

Today's excitement was... nothing. There was nothing really exciting going on, other than the human woman calling picking my matted po-po hair "quality time" with me. She can't just scratch my belly, or just admire my fluffiness, or even take pictures of my beauty, no, she has to pick my matted po-po hairs. Ok, I wouldn't have matted po-po hair if she would spend more time with me and not Sammy. Ok, so I would still have matted po-po hair if she spent more time with us, as I don't like my po-po hair touched, but still.

She did share croissant with us, and not that crappy croissant that she bought recently, like she would fool us with substandard croissant. No, they went out and bought a whole bunch of the ultra tasty Costco croissant (Costco croissant, the choice of everyhusky), and shared with us. THAT was the highlight of our day. The rest of the time was spent napping, out on the deck, napping, yapping at Sam to shut up, or watching Sam get attention.

I yearn for the days of riccochet bed, and racing around the yard, or getting fed normally, and getting my proper attention. Ok, fine, I'm jealous, and I'm being ignored. Stupid Sammy has his plates being low (whatever that means). Maybe I'll find some of my own plates and put them low or whatever. Just as long as they don't shave me like dork spine boy.

Meeshka
(I get no respect)

New Blogger

Ok everyhusky, blogger just told me to go to the new blog, so I clawed the human woman into doing it.

It asked her some questions, and I had to remind her what to answer. Then it sat there for a while, and then said, ok, I'm done and ... it looks almost the same. Dashboard is a bit different, but I don't see anything amazing or totally awesome about it.

I'm just relieved that it didn't take all of my beautiful fluffy pictures and throw them away, or garble my words of wisdom. I'm still very sceptic of this thing.

Meeshka (posting more later, just making sure this thing works right)