Tipsy Human Woman

No, she's not at the chocolatinis again, she got new glasses.

Normally I don't draw her with glasses on because, well, I'm lazy, and she prefers not to be drawn with glasses on. I actually convinced her to let me show you the new glasses, so here they are. She says she looks like a dork, and you know... for the first time, she's right!

On top of getting new glasses that make her look like a dork, these are those fancy "progressive" glasses. No, that doesn't mean fashionable or trendy, that means old people bifocals, but in a nicer way.

Apparently it takes a while for humans to get use to this new "progressive" stuff, and they are correct, as the human woman now tips over easily. This is great for getting at her food or just knocking her down when we feel like it. I like these new glasses, even though I refuse to be seen with her outside when she's wearing them.

Meeshka

Sunday with the human man

The human woman went away for a few hours this afternoon to attend some “rescue” function. If anyone needed rescued, it would be the human woman, but apparently nobody adopted her.

With her out of the way, we were able to spend Sunday with the human man, who is recovering from his cold, but is recovering to the point where he doesn’t carelessly leave used kleenex laying around... darn the luck.

We started off with the usual game of “I want out, then in, then out, then in, then out, then in, then out...” I really need to come up with a better name than that some day. Around hour 2 he was wheezing up and down the stairs, much to our delight.

As the human woman already fed us before she left, and told the human man that she fed us (female dog), we couldn’t convince him that we were starving to death and needed some yummy food. We tried, we got all fluffy, we looked all pouty, we hovered around his legs while he prepared himself some tasty foods... ok, maybe not so tasty foods. It seems that he doesn’t know how to work the new microwave food safe.

We think he was trying to make nachos. A pretty basic recipe that even dogs know because the main ingredient is shredded cheese, always a favorite. Take corn chips, sprinkle cheese on them, put in microwave food safe for 30 seconds, and piping hot, drippy cheese tasties. I think it was the smoke that clued him in that something was amiss, although the Mutatoe’s shrill yapping should have been an early warning.

Ever the quick thinker when on cold medicine, the human man decided that he couldn’t toss the smoking pile of molten charred chips into the trash, so he threw them into a thin plastic bowl to cool off. I’m sure you all know where this is going, and no... we didn’t get them because we have much better taste than to eat charred molten hunk of congealed plastic.

With the distinct aroma of melting plastic and burnt corn chips permeating the house, we continued to drive the human man insane until the human woman arrived back home, at which point we greeted her as though she had been gone for years, not 3 hours. Per our internal alarm clocks, once the human woman comes home, that means its dinner time, regardless of what hour that is. While she may have thought we were happy to see her again because she is kind and nice and combs us and lets us have most of the bed... well yeah, but we actually wanted food.

“What is that smell?”

Yep, the molten lump of cheese, charred chips and melted plastic still sat on the stove “cooling”. She was nice and asked if the human man was actually saving that for later before tossing the whole thing in the trash. Then, even though it was earlier than normal, she fed us, like a good human woman. She’s so trained... we need to work on the human man some more, although we are amused by his high pitched keening noise and the way he pulls his hair out of his head.

Keeping it Short

Yeah, yeah, I know, I haven't posted in like 10 days (exactly 10 days), but I've been worn out and the human woman has been experiencing something she's calling "creative vapor lock", which is a fancy way of saying "lazy".

Our conversations have gone something like this:

me: claw
HW: ouch
me: claw, claw
HW: ouch, stop it, I'll take the blog prizes to the post office, I will, really, but I don't want to post for you until I do because I know you'll be blaming me for not going to the post office, and frankly have you been to the post office recently? Its full of mutants and morons... wait a minute, your a dog, of course you haven't been to the post office, unless you've been sneaking out with the keys again.
me: claw, claw, claw
HW: OW STOP IT! FINE, I'm going to the post office so you'll stop clawing me.
me: hffft.

So, off she went.
Steve, Kat & Wilbur, Amy M., Hollybollyboo, Dakota, Star and Jack, your stuff went into the mail on friday.
Ben Rotti, your cool limited edition poster got mailed from Canada.
Khyra, the human woman has to get your t-shirt tomorrow, so it'll go in the mail next week
Turbo, Ben and Samantha, your stuff requires a box shape the human woman doesn't have, and she neglected to get it from the post office because apparently this happened while she was there:

At least that's what she claims, you don't even want me to repeat what she said about the people at the grocery store while she was getting our oyster crackers and livergreat.

Now, more important information. I know a lot of you supported me during the week of 100 (and thank you once again) but now its time to support Ben Rotti in his challenge to help the Nowzad dogs!

I will be putting a direct link (that Ben sent me) onto the side of my blog and you best get over there and help these poor pups! You don't want me to come to your house and claw you like there's a thunderstorm out (which there was last night... eesh).

Ok, I promise to post more often.

Meeshka

Royal Edict

As your queen it is my duty to make a lot of important decisions regarding the world each and every day. I don't think all of you realize just how much responsibility I balance on my incredibly fluffy shoulders each day to ensure the world doesn't tilt crazily on its axis and we fall off. Ok, that's a bit on the way too drama queen side of things, but seriously, I do have to make a lot of decisions in a day... take my average morning for example:

You can now understand my need for many naps throughout the day and evening. I'm utterly exhausted with all of these decisions.

I was called upon to make another big decision the other day. Apparently my human woman is so incompetent that she can't even be trusted to run a simple drawing for prizes. Ben Rotti wrote to tell me that his human person is none other than the infamous Tristan H that won the ultra mega mega grand cool prize. Seems Ben Rotti's human is as inept as my human, as they made no mention of being related to Ben Rotti when they paid their pledge, therefore my human woman included the infamous Tristan H in the drawing even though Ben Rotti won a prize during the actual week of 100, and the rest is history.

The fact that Ben Rotti ratted out his human was (frankly) a refreshing blurt of honesty and integrity. Ben Rotti is a big supporter of Dogs With Blogs and other bloggers, and he thinks I'm beautiful (you aren't so bad yourself with your nekkid glory).

Therefore, it was a no brainer decision that even the Mutatoe could have figured out... the drawing stands, and I hope to see a picture of Ben Rotti with the ultra mega mega cool picture that was donated by the generous Kara and North Wapiti Pretty Sled Dogs.

Now, while that wasn't as good of a drama as pigs in lipstick or failing banks, it has totally exhausted me, so now to decide which air vent to sleep on... eesh, these responsibilities of mine are endless.

Meeshka

Hero dog... pffft

I just read a story about a dog that saved its human by calling 911. Apparently the owner has seizures and the dog is trained to call 911 when the human collapses.

Big deal. I mean come on! This happened to me last week and there's no big story about my bravery!

Its so hot

Sammy
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema

I rushed off the cool air vent for a moment to check in. After the whole week of 100, then the stupid Hanna Montana tropical storm, then listening to the human woman complain, complain, complain about how all she did during vacation was sit at the computer transcribing my blog material and didn't have time to do laundry (um, that's what after work is for, silly human woman), I didn't have time to blog much, but I'm back.

On the Sammy getting to Frankie front... um, we have a bit of a problem there. It seems that Sammy doesn't want to leave without 'his" sleep number bed and big screen tv turned to CNN. It was hard enough trying to figure out how to get him to Frankie in Kali without stuffing a king sized sleep number bed and a tv in the box with him, so I'll have to noodle this one through.

Mutatoe is annoying (nothing new there).

Human woman is battling ants again, and frankly the ants are winning. She's now set sticky traps in the kitchen (under counters, where I'm trying to convince Mutatoe to shove his nose in one for comic relief) and she bought some pet-safe killy spray for outside, but...

ITS TOO FREAKIN HOT OUT THERE FOR MAN, BEAST, AND ANTS!!!

I almost spontaneously combusted while doing a poo this afternoon. I could only make it off the concrete slab to poo before dashing back into the house and onto the cool air vent. The human woman is not pleased at the close proximity of poo near the house, but she can just... well, you know.

That's it for now, I'm getting sultry again, must make a dash for the vent.

Meeshka

Week of 100 Grand Prize Drawings

After much procrastination (on the human woman's part) and much clawing (on my part on the human woman's leg parts), we have finally completed the final drawing for the grand prizes for the week of 100 blog posts, boy is that a long sentence. Here I am limbering up and stretching to get ready for the big drawing. Once again, its very important to stretch and warm up before doing a big grand prize drawing thingie. You don't want to pull a muscle or anything and be out of your game when you are picking winners.
After jumping on the bed, more stretching is required, also I had to sufficiently fluff up for my big drawing. Being in the public eye means always being fluffy and that takes a lot of work.

As you can see to the right, I had a lot of pieces of paper to draw from. I was a bit annoyed by the paper, I had requested that the drawing be done using bits of kleenex, but the human woman kept saying that I would eat them too quickly and she wouldn't be able to tell who actually won until my digestion process was complete. I'm sure you will agree that pictures of paper, versus pictures of what is deposited from my colon are nicer to look at, so I begrudgingly gave in to her stupid wishes. Plus, as there are 5 winners to this drawing... well, that's a lot of kleenex, tasty, tasty kleenex... oh, ok, I'll start the drawing if you insist:

Winner #1 is a tasty bouquet of paper and ink, a hint of yoghurt (the human woman really needs to wash her hands a bit more often), and the winner is!!!!!

Steve, Kat and the Wilbur cat thing!

Woohooo, way to go you two (and
fur thing).


Steve, Kat and Wilbur win the little bitty red/white howling wolf/husky thing and a Starbucks card!!!! oooooh I actually had to pry the starbucks card out of the human woman's mouth, sorry about the drool and teeth marks.









Ok, now for the next drawing... tasty paper.

I have to say, this vanilla looking paper tastes nothing like vanilla, and the ink leaves a bitter after taste to it... oh... who won?





Amy M. WOOHOOO, Amy M. won a very stylish husky t-shirt in Xtra Large! I'll even throw in some of my fluff and some gimpy fluff and some lint, but none of the stupid ants that are crawling all over the kitchen counter that the human woman still can't figure out where they are coming from and why, but that's not your problem Amy M, as you will be styling in your cool husky shirt!


Ok, next one... very tasty, has a rather sarcastic taste to it....


Yep, its Khyra! Hey, I swear, I'm not sucking up to vice presidental candidates are anything, really, it was a fair drawing.

Ok, so what does Khyra get?


This really cool "Got Husky?" t-shirt, available in small, medium, and large (please specify your size). A very tasteful (and tasty) t-shirt with the "got husky?" thing on the breast pocket if there was a breast pocket, and how rude is that, having a pocket to hold a breast, I mean do humans really need a pocket to hold a breast? Do they need to carry a spare around with them? Oh, sorry, I'll now continue the drawing.



MMMM, this one is very robust, has good legs, and... oh good lord, this looks really bad, this looks like some ballot tampering going on, really I had no idea which pieces of paper I was grabbing off the bed, they were all folded, I couldn't read them... really!

Turbo wins, this cute little stuffed husky that's wearing a ridiculous bandanna... sigh, must humans dress their pets up and then make stuffed animals of dressed up pets, its ridiculous, and I hope the Turbo/Khyra ticket will make that illegal once they are elected into office. I'm just sayin.






And now for the final, final, really cool prize, this is just so cool, its frozen cool... well, it comes from a cold place, and my friend Kara of North Wapiti Pretty Sled Dogs picked this out for me and is going to send this to the ultra mega mega grand prize winner who is....
drum roll please.....


Tristan H.!!!!!!!





Congratulations Tristan H, because Kara will be sending this straight to you (and if you are lucky, she'll include some of her champion Iditarod fluff with it) This is a limited edition print by British Columbia artist, Denise Linley. It features Karen and her 16-dog team, resting along the Iditarod trail. Dancing above them in the night sky is a spectacular display of northern lights.


Congratulations to the winners, and thank all of you for pledging and (most importantly) sending in your pledge payments.

Winners, please e-mail me at: meeshkaworld@gmail.com with your addresses so that I can get the human woman to send out your goodies quickly!

Meeshka

Update

Hey everypup, just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about the final contest drawing and all of that fun stuff.

Frankly, I haven't been able to claw the human woman near the computer since the end of Week of 100. Something about an avalanche of laundry, dirty dishes, bills, and stupid work needing to be done. She really needs to get her priorities straight.

She did assure me that on Friday afternoon, the amazing and fun filled final drawing will be held, where all pledgers and donors who haven't already won will have a chance at FABulous prizes and excitement.

Until then, some friends of mine have started a movement that I feel the need to support, so I'm giving them the space to post their cause here. Please support their movement and vote Tubey/Khyra 2008.

Post 100

They said it couldn't be done. I don't know who "they" are, but I claw at them! Post 100!

First off, I want to thank everyone, human and 4-legger who pledged money to a great cause, and that cause is to save northern breeds that need loving homes. You are all heroes, especially in such tough economic times, when humans are losing jobs, homes, paying too much for gas, and the prices of everything going through the roof. I am humbled at the outpouring of support and the amount of pledges you promised and I hope that I provided you with a week's worth of good entertainment for your money.

If you would be so kind as to click on the donate button on the right side of my blog to send your money straight to Harnessed to Hope Northern Breed Rescue sometime this week, or send your donation to:
Harnessed to Hope Northern Breed Rescue
P.O. Box 3079
Bethlehem, PA
18017

The pups in their care now and in the future will thank you for your generosity and kindness.

I also want to thank the SiberMalTervCat Society (SMS) for their support throughout this week and Dogs with Blogs for providing blogging dogs (and honorary dogs) with a great place to gather, share, and make new friends.

I guess I should also thank the human woman, who did all of the typing this week, rubs my belly when I ask, gives me livergreat and oyster crackers, makes a most excellent pillow, and isn't as bad as I always make her seem, but I'll deny saying that.

The human woman does say that she refuses to sit anywhere near the computer tomorrow, so on Sunday I will claw her back so we can add up the final donation tally, get everyone's names and prepare to do the final really cool drawing for really cool prizes, which will be announced on the blog later in the week. For those of you who have already won, send me an e-mail at: meeshkaworld@gmail.com with your mailing address so that I can get the human woman to send out your gifts pronto.

While I won't be attending, the human woman will be appearing in the parking lot of the Hike N Howl at Core Creek Park in Bucks County Pennsylvania on 18 October 2008 and hopes to see you there if you can make it. She'll be the one in the ridiculous orange vest directing people where to park... and she looks just like the cartoons I draw of her (hopefully she'll have worked off that big butt).

Once again, I am nearly speechless with appreciation!

Thank you all, and good night!

Meeshka
Sam
Loki
Human woman
Human man
Uncle Jack

Post 99

These gimpies, I swear, they are so high maintenance. Its bad enough that I have to jump on the bed all by myself while Spineless Bionic Hip pup Sam gets lifted onto the bed (note to Frankie... that's gonna be your responsibility once he lands in California, and he's not a lightweight either... and did I mention he dribbles pee sometimes... yeah, he's quite a catch).

Then there's whiny girlie boy Mutatoe, who follows the human woman all over the place, fawning and sucking up. All he has to do is let out one little peep and she's handing out the treats and the livergreat to him and comforting him. I look all fluffy and cute and raise one paw and tilt my head just so and make a little woo noise and I get "you gotta go out? you gotta go pee pee?" Um, no, I'd like a freakin oyster cracker and that kleenex you just tossed away.

Ok, fine, FINE!!!!

Biloxi... you are now an honorary HULA Hoop member, and you BETTER use your gimpability to the utmost at your fur-ever home and I'd better see an adoption picture where your new fur-ever humans are handed your certificate little mister! Learn your sister Meadow's amazing ability to open the fridge, and make your humans freak out for no reason, and shred shred shred!

Now, go out there and dig up the yard when Hurricane Hannah Montana comes rolling in.

Congratulations

Meeshka

Post 98

As the week of 100 comes to a close, and Uncle Jack will be winging his way back to Oregon with his stylish Sammy Carry On bag, I'm a bit disappointed that a really big and famous celebrity person didn't keel over, but we've had some minor celebrities leave us, and three hurricanes, so I guess that makes up for one big star taking a dirt nap.

The human woman is complaining that all of this sitting for a week has made her butt the shape of the computer chair. I'm thinking that has more to do with her sitting around for a week stuffing her face full of cookies and goodies, then going out to eat mass quantities of meats on a stick, hamburgers, grilling all types of foods and not sharing them with me. Humans must realize that the key to a successful diet is sharing with their pups. Its called "portioning". One for you, three for us, and repeat. By giving us three bites to your one, we are merely helping you lose the weight that you need before you end up looking like Mutatoe and his ample ass.

She's also blaming some guy where she works, something about being forced to eat the delicious things he bakes and brings in, but she's not fooling me at all. First of all, she hasn't been to work in a week, secondly, if you set a goody in front of her, the only force that occurs is the force of air as she snatches the goody from the table and the immense suction that occurs when that goody is shoved into her mouth.

Yeah, we all know who is responsible when she requires a crowbar to get into any pants that don't have elastic.