Post 98

As the week of 100 comes to a close, and Uncle Jack will be winging his way back to Oregon with his stylish Sammy Carry On bag, I'm a bit disappointed that a really big and famous celebrity person didn't keel over, but we've had some minor celebrities leave us, and three hurricanes, so I guess that makes up for one big star taking a dirt nap.

The human woman is complaining that all of this sitting for a week has made her butt the shape of the computer chair. I'm thinking that has more to do with her sitting around for a week stuffing her face full of cookies and goodies, then going out to eat mass quantities of meats on a stick, hamburgers, grilling all types of foods and not sharing them with me. Humans must realize that the key to a successful diet is sharing with their pups. Its called "portioning". One for you, three for us, and repeat. By giving us three bites to your one, we are merely helping you lose the weight that you need before you end up looking like Mutatoe and his ample ass.

She's also blaming some guy where she works, something about being forced to eat the delicious things he bakes and brings in, but she's not fooling me at all. First of all, she hasn't been to work in a week, secondly, if you set a goody in front of her, the only force that occurs is the force of air as she snatches the goody from the table and the immense suction that occurs when that goody is shoved into her mouth.

Yeah, we all know who is responsible when she requires a crowbar to get into any pants that don't have elastic.