The Abuse Continues

I’m not liking this whole “Sammy needs more attention” thing, and frankly its gone on long enough.

For instance, the other day I REALLY had to go potty at 4 a.m. I dutifully wake the human woman (who graced our presence on the comfy sleep number bed that night), and demanded to be let out. Loki went with me, because he does what I tell him to. She opens the deck door and out we zoom... I’m talking real potty emergency here, but we get to the stairs... and the freakin gate at the bottom is shut! I turned to woo and point, but the lazy human woman had already gone back to freakin bed! Can you believe that!

So, there we sat, legs crossed, tapping our claws (or mutatoes), and waited. About 15 minutes later, the human woman comes back and tells us to get back inside. I stood at the landing and woo’d. Um, hello? Gate locked! She demanded that I come back inside. WOO, GATE LOCKED! She insisted, so FINE! I huffed inside and stepped on her bare foot on the way in.

When the alarm went off at 5:30 a.m. she hauled her lazy butt out of bed, we ran for the door. She lets us out again and DIDN’T OPEN THE FREAKIN GATE!!! I had half a mind to lay a nice stinky one right on their precious deck. Oh, I was furious! Fifteen minutes later, she comes back. Woo, idiot woman, gate locked! She made us come inside and asked if we wanted breakfast... um, no, I’d like to pee a river now thank you!

She ignores my sarcastic woo and goes downstairs to let precious spineless Sam out. It must have dawned on her pea sized brain when she got outside that the gate was closed, because she hurried Sam through his morning routine, came back up and was very apologetic and took us back outside and even made sure we made it down the deck stairs ok, and apologized while we nearly burst our bladders running for our spots. I stepped on her bare foot again when we came back up, really mashed the claws down too.

The gimpy suck up mutatoe is really going through human woman withdrawal lately. He’s very angry that he’s not the center of her attention. I’ve tried to explain to him that Sam is more important right now, we’re just second (but fluffy) fiddles to his whims, and why does he have to be such a big screaming cry baby when he sees the human woman giving Sam attention. I swear, he makes such a huge scene whenever he wants some attention. Its actually embarrassing to watch (and hurts my delicate, yet fluffy ears) with all his dramatics and screeching. He’s even perfected the screeching, throwing himself into a semi-fluffy pile temper tantrum. Its got potential for award winning performance.

Last night he was so upset that he wouldn’t come out of his crate to sleep in the comfy bed with the human man. Ok, so human man flails and won’t let us take over the bed, but still, I just don’t see how sleeping in your crate will show the human woman how tortured and hurt you are, when she’s sacked out on the aero bed using Sam as a pillow. Whatever, that meant more room on the comfy bed for me, so go ahead with your dramatics, that’ll really show the human woman.




  1. Next time try peeing in the hous if she locks the gate. That'll definitely show her!

    At least she finally figured it out and hopefully felt really bad!

    Excellent job smashing her bare foot.


  2. You could always run away with me to Kansas. I hear they have lots of cookies and doggy doors there!!


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