Sunday, July 13, 2014

Harvest Season Again

It's the second harvesting of fledglings in the yard.  This crop this year has been bountiful with 1 nest of 3 in the early season, and another nest of 3 in the late season.

Loki 1 down, 2 to go



Saturday, June 28, 2014

New HULA Members - Maggie and Cammie

It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to the newest members of the Husky United Liberation Army (HULA):  Cammie and Maggie!

This picture is ©KZKryschtal... you nab it and I will hunt you down!
It was a great honor when the original Ao4 submitted their application, and I had no doubt that Maggie and Cammie would also be members, and as you can see above, the sitzbank continues to be a "no husky zone" hehehehe.

You will have to journey on over to their blog to read their application, get to know them, see their adventures, and wallow in their glorious misadventures.

My only advice to young Maggie (who is my Prime Minister, by the way) is that you should mix up the whining freak human out sound with yips and yaps of great urgency... that way they don't start to ignore you.  I would also suggest you stare at something on the wall, or something behind the humans so they think there's a bug... or axe murderer behind them.

Way to go you two!  I'm very proud of your accomplishments, and I see nothing but devious things in your future!


Sunday, June 22, 2014

Peemageddon

It's the end of June, and we all know what that means...

Summer Thunderclaw storms and...

Idiot neighbors with illegal fireworks.

The humans are very good at making sure we are well secluded in the house on holidays where fireworks are likely... 4th of July, New Years, Groundhog's day, Saturday... ok, so apparently the stupid neighbors are indeed morons and shoot off fireworks at the drop of a hat, which makes it difficult to be ensconced downstairs with the tv blaring, music blaring, and tasty treats to keep our minds off of the mini-scale world war going on outside.

Even the weather idiots have been horrible with their prognostications of storms.  The other night there was a 0% chance (that's ZERO) of thunderclaw, and yet in the middle of the night, there came such a storm that rocked the very house from under us.

Before you go suggesting ideas for the Human Woman that will help us through these times, let's run through the gamut of failures, this way you won't waste your time (or mine, been there, done that, nothing short of electrocuting the neighbors or ... heaven forbid... one of their rocket mortars exploding in their hands... pleeeeeeze... pleeeeeze... will solve this issue).

 Thundershirt - There's a reason why they call me the "Gingerbread Shmoo"... ain't no way, no how, not ever will you put that silly thing on me.  Catch me if you can... nuh uh.






Rescue Remedy - HA!  That stuff is worthless to me.  Doesn't even put a dent in my anxiety... I could drink the whole bottle and skitter around the house for hours.

Melatonin - Takes the edge off, but only if the Human Woman gives it to me at the right time... and she hasn't figured out when the actual right time is... especially when out of the blue the neighbors light off enough missiles to take over a small third world country.

Benedryl - The Human Woman gave it to me once as a puppy and it had the opposite affect on me.  Since then, she is leery about trying that experiment again... since her scars are still visible and she's still in therapy with PTMD (Post Traumatic Meeshka Disorder).

So... the only real solution has been to herd us downstairs because it's a bit more sound proof down there, turn on everything that makes a noise, and wait it out... except for one thing... we must pee.

Yes, when scared, the bladder goes into protective mode... if my frantic clawing at the Human legs won't move them fast enough to put us downstairs, the only way to get across the severity of the matter is to pee... on the bed.  This typically gets them moving VERY fast.

Last night when the bombardment began, the Mutatoe took to his crate and cowered


I attempted to breach the bedroom to signal to the humans that we mustn't dilly or dally, we needed to evacuate downstairs immediately, but they blocked the bedroom and continued to tell me that it was ok.  It's not OK, someone is trying to bomb us, we need to move downstairs.

While I distracted the Human Woman by peeing in the living room, the Mutatoe scurried and managed to make it into the bedroom and onto the bed... at which point the Human Man tried to get him off the bed, freaking him out even more and causing a fountain of pee.


It was at this time that the dimwitted humans decided that we needed to immediately proceed to the emergency downstairs shelter... ok, so maybe it was after I peed in the bathroom...


Hey, I don't know what they're so freaked out about, they pee in there all the time.

I hate fireworks.

- Meeshka

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Sam's Spa Days

Just to show you how unfair my life is... I told you about how I went to the vet and got poked, prodded, and my precious nails stolen from me, and how the Human Woman pays for all of this torture with my poo.

When I mentioned the horrible trip to Mutatoe and Spineless Bionic Hip, Kneee... oh good gah, too many maladies to list Sam, he told me that he LOVED going on his car rides because he gets massaged, pampered, plenty of treats, and some laser thing that was warm and felt good.

Harumpf... seriously?

But that all changed the other week when he came home from his spa to announce that he had been duped all this time!  No doubt the massage and warm laser thing was just a trick to get him comfortable for THIS!

Holy Mother of everything wrong, what is this thing I'm in???

No, there must be a horrible mistake, I'm suppose to be in the dimly lit room with soothing music getting my massage and warm laser, let me out!

OHMYGAH!  There's water!  WATER IS FILLING THE TANK EVERYONE GET OUT!

CAN'T YOU SEE THE WATER, WE'LL ALL DROWN!!

HELP!!!!

HELP ME, STOP LAUGHING THS ISN'T FUNNY!!!

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?????
Oh yeah, he was NOT happy at all when he came home and told me all about the horror.

He did everything possible except call the SPCA on the Human Woman the next week she dragged him out of the house and to the watery icky treadmill.

"It's for your well-being, it will make you stronger and happier" she kept saying.

Well... the second week he came home and pretty much threw himself in his crate and wouldn't move.  he was really creaky (angry) and sore.

The Human Woman didn't seem to bat an eyelash at it the first 2 days, but when he didn't seem any better by day 3... or 5... she got all concerned and worried and fretted and freaked out.

When Friday rolled around, she dragged poor Spineless out to the truck again, but this time he came back all happy again.  Apparently the underwater treadmill torture is too much for his gimpy body, and so he's back to getting his massages and warm laser.


Well played Sam... well played!

- Meeshka

Saturday, May 17, 2014

My Trip to the Vet

I knew this was coming because I overheard the Human Woman tell the Human Man that she had to take me to the vet for my rabies vaccine and (gasp) nail clipping.

Thankfully the weather was horrendous.  Torrential downpour of rain at the very moment we had to leave for the vet.  I set about my diabolical plan of refusing to get into the truck.  No amount of bribing, cajoling, or threatening would get me into the truck... until I was sufficiently wet.



It is well known in the Siberian Husky world that we huskies have amazing double coats.  The scotch-guarded top coat that allows us to wallow in mud and yet just shake it off, and the downy soft undercoat that comes out in clumps during our shedding season (which lasts approximately 364 days a year).

If we stay out in the rain long enough, all of that water soaks into our downy undercoat and stays there like a giant sponge.  If we loaded up with enough water, we could slowly trot across the largest desert and still be damp and hydrated when we got to the other side.

Once I was sufficiently loaded up with water, I then jumped into the back of the truck... and waited.

Yes, you have to choose your moments wisely.  Too early and the water distribution is not sufficient enough for a reaction.  Too late and the torrent of water is wasted... you must wait until the Human Woman is buckled into the driver's seat, and preferably when she's on a busy highway and concentrating really hard... and then you shake.

The containment of the truck, the closed windows all make for the perfect environment for the spray of cold hairy shake water.  It's best if you can position yourself in the middle of the front seats for the best effect.

Then you laugh and laugh


This also means that once you arrive at your destination, you are dry and pretty, while the Human Woman...


... not so much.

I made sure to make my disdain for the place known with a very well placed poo, which was immediately gathered in a green plastic bag and given to the person at the front desk.  I can only assume that my poo is so precious that it is used as a form of payment and explains why the Human Woman gathers it daily.

As usual, I was forced into a horrible little room that smelled of other dogs who had undergone horrendous procedures, like temperature taking, and teeth looking, and even ... finger in the po-po.

I asked politely if I could leave... and was denied.



I was dragged, screaming, to the back room of torture.  You must scream before they do the procedures, because it keeps them off-guard and they feel bad for making you scream... and it also warns other dogs from miles around that this is the place where bad things happen.

With my precious and well sharpened claws clipped, I was escorted back to the little room where they listened to me breath, poked me in the po-po, then jabbed me with a sharp needle.

I was then taken to the shop of many good smells and encouraged to pick out something special.  I can only surmise that this offer was out of pure guilt, and that by refusing everything offered to me caused the Human Woman even more guilt.  It is worth not having a new chewbone to cause her more anguish.



She finally took me home where I was questioned and sniffed by the Mutatoe and Bionic Hip, Knee, Spineless Underwater Treadmill dog Sam.  I told them of the horrors of my trip and warned them against going anywhere with the Human Woman.  Sam scoffed and said that all of his trips out were relaxing and fun... he is clearly delusional.

Thankfully I am strong enough to overcome such attempts to diminish my dignity.


You will have to try harder Human Woman and I shall defeat you every time!

- Meeshka

Thursday, May 01, 2014

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

SNOW!!!

We FINALLY got some snow!!!  Lots of snow!!!  Beautiful snow!!!!

We wanted to go run in it... but of course Bionic Hip/Knee Spineless Sammy wanted to run too


Don't know why she freaks out like that... snow is soft, if he falls he can't break too many things... he's pretty much out of original parts anyways.

- Meeshka

Friday, January 03, 2014

Mutatoe vs Snow

Mutatoe came inside after running around in the snow acting like he fractured his back leg.

The screaming, the limping, the pathetic wailing and yodeling...


Even the snow kicks his ample ass.

- Meeshka

Sunday, December 15, 2013

We Got Baths

Once again, it is that time of the year... not Christmas, although Fleas of a Dog is a Christmas tune sung by Jose Feliciano, and that is what we had... lots of fleas.

I hate fleas and blame the crappy hot weather.  We didn't have any snow last year (none that I could build a mountain out of and lay on) so the whole icky yard was filled with them.

The Human Woman did her best to try to eradicate them using all sorts of pretty smelling and dog friendly concoctions, including one that made us smell like old people cedar chests (and actually that did the trick as far as the house went), but they were still on us, so that meant....

BATH!

She tricked us into the downstairs bathroom that doesn't have a tub, just a walk in shower.

Mutatoe fell for their trick first and spent the entire time screaming, screeching, yodeling, howling, squirming, and generally sounding like the time the chair kicked his ample ass.



I went next, but only because they literally dragged me into the room kicking and screaming.  Honestly it felt pretty good... kinda soothing and with hints of oatmeal and some other stinking thing, but not a good dead stinky thing, which would have been great.  I really do feel that if dog shampoo manufacturers made "Stinky Dead Roadkill That's Been Sitting on a Highway for Five Days in the Hot Sun" smelling dog shampoo, dogs would love baths.
  



Next was Sam, who requires a "no-slip" mat, bubble wrap, cushions, a sling, tongs and extra house insurance to keep him from breaking something else.  I swear, you just look at him wrong and something breaks.

 We were dried off somewhat by the leaf blower, and then per the rules of all dogs, we finished drying off by rolling on the bedcovers.

It's what we do.

Friday, November 08, 2013

Pupdate

Yes, yes, yes, I know, it's been FOREVER since I've posted... sorry, been very busy, plus the human woman refused to move the computer near the cold air vent.  eeesh.

So... what's been going on.

Fleas for one.  Stupid things.  Can't get rid of them.  Ticks too.  It's the start of some kind of dogpocalypse or something I fear.  Ok, I blame the weather people for not giving us enough snow to kill those things off these past few years.  I better see some snow this year... just sayin.

The Spineless Bionic Hip, Knee dog, Sam, broke again.

This time they really thought he broke something important and expensive.  Luckily he just twerked his non-bionic hip and knee... or was that tweaked... I get those mixed up.

So, he was sequestered down in the official recovery room with the Human Man, and pampered like I should be getting pampered.


I told him that I knew he was making more of a deal out of it than he was acting, but he bribed me to keep quiet.  Hey, I'll take that.

Then the Human Man got sickly, so it was two sickly pack members downstairs and I was stuck upstairs with the Human Woman and the Mutatoe... ugh.  He took up the whole bed!




The Human Woman took us both for a walk to get us out of the house... probably to try to flee the horrible germs percolating in that house.

Then I decided that there was no way, no how, not ever, ever, ever I was EVER going to go into the yard again because the Human Woman hadn't "picked up" in a while.

Ok, seriously humans, you flush the porcelain water bowl every time you "go" into it, why is it so hard to "flush" our yard once in a blue moon?  Huh?

Since I refused to go in the yard, and apparently pooping on the deck is abso-fricken-lootly out of the question (per the Human Woman), the humans took matters into their own hands... meaning they put my harness on me and tried to convince me that leash walking me in the yard was the same as "taking a walk".  I was not fooled.


Two things came out of this incident:

1.) The Human Woman is very quick with cleaning the yard every day, and

2.) They got to try a new leash on me, which I'll be reviewing in my next post tomorrow, so stay tuned, you won't want to miss that festival of fun.

- Meeshka