My Dear Queen Meeshka,
Oh, joy! I jump for joy at the possibility of earning a HULA certificate! One to proudly chew on and then destroy in a corner of the yard, I can’t wait. What an honor! Your fluffiness and beauty have earned my complete dedication. Instead of bragging of my past exploits or victories against the clueless humans, instead I chose today to complete as many of the seven golden goals as possible. The She was easy. The human woman is a sucker for a good looking husky tail. I wagged, she gave in.
Thinking carefully, I set my plans in action.
There is a special vent in my house directed at The Chair. The human man likes it but The Chair is mine. I use it all summer long when it is to unbearably hot to be outside. Like foolish humans, they think I spend the day on the kitchen floor. No. My coat is to gorgeous to accept anything but the best, leather. The cold air vent is directed straight at The Chair. Rarely do I allow them to see me lounging there. Like I said, the human man thinks it is his. I won’t lower myself to fight about it.
Before settling down for a good nap in that perfect husky chair, I dragged out my rain coat. Yes, you heard me correctly. My Rain Coat. Lacking in much common sense, the foolish woman bought me a rain coat. A double coated, slick, thick and handsome dog like me gets a raincoat? Quickly, let me say “No, I have not had to suffer through wearing it!” Because, back then, The She happily held a liver treat over my head and forced me into it to declare loudly “Oh Pooh, it’s to small!” That thing has been under the bed, where I placed it, ever since.
I suffered indignity for you, Queen of my world. I dragged the rain coat out. Then I laid down in the chair.
The She thought it was precious, as expected, so out came the camera. I submit the pictures as evidence of the lengths I am willing to suffer to be in the HULA hoop.
By dragging out the raincoat and sitting in the lounge chair, just two simple moves, I was able to:
Freak my human out "Wow check him out, he is so cute!”
Change her behavior, “I have to take pictures! Always at the worst times”
Dress up for The She’s humor “Look he likes the raincoat, now where did that come from? Let’s put it on him.”
Receive a treat out of guilt – “Aww, do you want attention? I guess I have been busy lately. I have to run though, here have a treat”
I believe, oh Queen of fluff, that this would be considered disruptive behavior from the normal routine.
Throughout this series of pictures, please note that I was able to hide my identity with my reflective eyes.
So in closing, I give you my Kleenex. I have collected it out of love. Not love for the Kleenex, it isn’t used after all, but love of our future Queen!
(Agent 00K9, I have to say that there was just the right amount of sucking up in your criteria, it almost made me weep with joy. Congratulations, and welcome to the HULA Hoop)