Dear Queen Meeshka,
I would also like to humbly apply for official membership in your prestigious HULA hoop. As an experienced leader of a special ops unit I have already gone on one mission to save a dog’s blogging life. As a matter of fact, a couple of my members have already been accepted into HULA. So even though I’m usually a ‘good boy’ I will try to document the 7 missions …
1. Demonstrating disruptive behavior
I recently used my Mom’s face as a launch pad to attack my sister, Chani. The humans should know better than to lay on the floor – that’s our territory. That incident really disrupted things around here and was pretty scary to boot. Well, Mom was pretty scary after it happened. I am also very good at barking at nothing and making Mom and Dad go look out the window to see what is there. I do that quite often.
2. Cause your human to freak out
Hmmm, does causing your Mom to have an allergic reaction count? Yesterday after she petted me her eyes began to itch and they turned really red. The downside was I had to have a bath after that. Other than that when I was a pup I used to shriek to high heaven when someone stepped on my paws – or even got close to them – it make the humans freak. But after a while it quit amusing me so I don’t do it anymore.
3. Cause human guilt
I can do the ‘sad eyes’ really, really well and usually can get Mom to take me for a car ride. I am also an expert beggar and can ALWAYS get a treat out of my Dad.
4. Destroy something
I destroy all my toys and dig holes in the backyard. Here’s a photo of a couple of my stuffies after they’ve gone a few rounds with me.
5. Human behavior modification
I have trained my humans to give me bones on a regular basis – really big bones – bigger than me, even! I have more bones than toys now – which is the way it should be.
7. Being dressed up as something for the humor of the humans.
Besides hats, I have to wear hands ... who ever heard of wearing hands!!! Notice that Chani is laughing at me.
Thank you for your leadership. I look forward to serving with you and completely dominating my humans (and maybe Chani too).
Your humble follower,
Zach, I have to admit, the hands are very disturbing... really... freaks me out... claw your humans