My Week in Review

Lets see... I clung to the last tiny bit of snow left on the deck, using the pillow technique that Zim taught me through his "how to build a snow fort" tutorials.  Zim is also suppose to send me some of his snow... but it hasn't arrived yet.  I'm sure it got lost in the mail.

Then I glared at the Human Woman because all of my snow downstairs was also melting, and not only that, but it started raining and washing it away faster.  This is my "Do something about this rain and make it snow" look.

I have had a few comments asking me if I sufficiently got back at the Human Woman for nearly poisoning me with Sam's pill.  The answer is most definitely YES.

Not only am I waking the humans up in the middle of the night for no reason (last night I climbed mount Human Man and stood on him until he yelled at me to get off of him), but every time the human woman sits down to pay attention to that stupid iPad thing, I do this:

Well, this would be where I had a video of me attacking the human woman... but blogger is being a butthead and won't upload it... harrumpf.

Today's festivities included the Human Woman making cookies.  But instead of the usual tasty peanut butter cookies, she made cookies that we can't have because they had chocolate in them.  Can you imagine that?  SERIOUSLY?  You're going to bake and NOT give us anything?

I mean SERIOUSLY!  Spineless Bionic hip/knee pup Sam even got off the Sleep Number bed because he smelled her baking and expected his cookies!

We totally guilted her into making us something tasty.

Ok, I totally blocked the oven until she did make us something.  We got our very own buttermilk biscuits hot from the oven and hand fed to us.  Yep, we know who rules the house.

Meeshka

Hoo That Funny Human Woman!

Wanna hear something funny?  Oh its a real knee slapper... if dogs had knees... well, we do have knees, its just a bit inconvenient to slap them when we laugh, but I'm sure you'll appreciate this real hoot of a funny story.

Yeah, so remember how I told you that Spineless Bionic hip/knee pup, Sam, was on antibiotics for a personal (sore pee pee) reason?  Yeah, and did I happen to mention that the specific antibiotics he was on is the very same antibiotics that I'm allergic to and make me horka if I have them?  Well, I may have neglected to mention that part, because why on earth would the human woman even bother to give me any of those pills, because they are for Sam and not for me and she knows that they make me horka?

Because the human woman is a moron and the other night while she was distracted with whatever delusional thoughts go on in that head of hers, she prepped us all some tasty livergreat and smooshed the Spineless pill in some livergreat and then gave us all our bits of mooshed livergreat and then said (wait for it, its a side splitter):

Wait a minute... where's Sam's pill?

Yep, that's right, she had no idea WHO she may have fed the livergreat smeared pill to!  Hello SPCA?

So what do you think the odds were that of three livergreat globs given to three dogs that the ONE dog that's allergic to the pill would get it... need a calculator for that one... want a hint?

I'm so freaking clawing her in her sleep.

Meeshka
I want another dinner now!

New HULA Members: Avery and Brogan

Dear Queen Meeshka

We are submitting a double HULA application to you today. Our brother Quinn was a proud HULA operative and before he went to the Rainbow Bridge he passed the torch on to us. We may not be “real” huskies, but we have lived with the best of them. Potential member #1 is Avery the Siberian Psycho Terrier - half husky, half terrier, all evil. Potential member #2 is Brogan the Dwarf Australian Setter - a mystery breed with a lot of potential.


Here are our qualifications.

Demonstrating disruptive behavior:
Brogan’s specialty is “retrieving” items. Or rather, carrying them around in his mouth and depositing them outside. Mom is always finding her socks outside, which is particularly disruptive during the winter:

Avery prefers to terrier-ize those around her such as brother Quinn and foster brother Phoenix (another HULA operative)

Causing humans to freak out:
One day Avery and our brother Eli (also at the bridge) begged mom to let them stay out of the crates when she went to work. When she came home she found out the front door blew open and both of them went walkabout. They’d been on the run for hours and mom didn’t even know where to look for them. Mom is very thankful for nice neighbors who like dogs. Brogan is more subtle in his freak out skills. He prefers to do things like horka for no reason or limp for a week for no reason - even the vet was stumped - before miraculously becoming healthy again.





Destroying something:
We’ll never understand why she continues to buy stuffed monkeys.








Human behavior modification:

Brogan is a consummate shoe thief. Mom tried putting her shoes on top of the crate but he’d just climb up there and retrieve them. Now when she lets us OUT of the crate she puts her shoes IN the crate and locks them in.







Humans dress you up:
Yes! That evil woman made us dress up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 for Halloween!! Sure we won the costume contest, but come on! Brogan had to wear a wig and Avery had to have her hair sprayed electric blue.

Even worse was the “photo shoot” she created when she got bored after she lost her job. Poor Avery hasn’t been able to show her face at the dog park since then.















Love of Kleenex and all things paper:
Brogan’s personal favorite is toilet paper. We love watching mom crawl under the couch (with pants around her ankles) to retrieve the roll of toilet paper he’s stolen and deposited there. Next best thing is paper towels. And Avery does not take kindly to being scolded for shredding them.

We are forever your humble servants.

Avery and Brogan

- Welcome to the HULA Hoop!  We also mourn the passing of faithful HULA member Quinn.

Meeshka

What Do You Mean I Can't Have That?

So, the Human Man was broken for a week or so.  It was nice that he stayed home with us, but he couldn't move fast enough to get us our cookies when we wanted... and he didn't seem pleased when we jumped on him to persuade him to move faster... go figure.

Just when we were getting back to a normal routine, the Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam had an "issue" and had to go to the vet.  He's all embarrassed and doesn't want me to say what was wrong with him (he had pee pee issues), so I'll respect his privacy.

Here is Sam trying to escape after the VET got WAAAAY too familiar with him... he's very shy and embarrasses easily.

Turns out (for a change) that there's nothing expensive wrong with him, he's just got to take some antibiotics for a while and hopefully that'll sort things out.  This is the best possible news for us because whenever Sam needs pills, that means one thing:

Oh yeah, its LIVERGREAT!!!!!

The human woman stocked up on livergreat and now we all get some whenever Sam gets his pills (morning and night).  I tried to change his pill label to read "every hour" but the pen smudged and I was thwarted.

Anyhoo, the other morning we had lined all up for our livergreat treat: one for me, one for Mutatoe, and one for Sam... but Sam's has the icky pill in it.  Imagine my surprise when Sam's glob of livergreat literally fell right out of his mouth and right near my feet!  What's a husky to do?  I mean, seriously, who would pass that up?

Apparently the human woman wasn't too keen about me getting a Sam pill and totally freaked out:

Yep, she totally shoved half her arm in my mouth and before I could swallow, snatched that glob of livergreat and pill right out of my throat!  It all happened so quickly there wasn't a thing I could do (and note to Human Woman... seriously... trim those nails a bit).

To make up for such an intrusion, and to her credit, the Human Woman gave me another blob of livergreat, probably to thank me for not taking off half of her arm.  The only thing that saved her from a later clawing was the fluffy snow we got.

Meeshka

New Product from MeeshCO

As we pups get older, there are life's little emergencies that we may not be able to handle like we did when we were younger.  Older and wiser, we know that help may not be close by when these situations occur, so we need to make sure that we have the support we need, when we need it, and at a moment's notice.

MeeshCO cares about its customers, and wants to provide them with the confidence they need to live a worry free life and remain independent as long as possible, which is why we've developed the Treat Alert©.

How many times have you found yourself in a comfy position, only to realize that you could use a cookie or other snack?  Seniors shouldn't have to get up and claw their humans for a cookie, therefore we've made it easier for seniors to get what they need, when they want it with Treat Alert©

Simply press the button on the handy bracelet and your Treat Alert© will not only send out an audible alarm, but will also send an electric shock to the matching Treat Alert© Human Pairing Bracelet, notifying your human of your want of a cookie.

No more getting up and hunting down your human, or that exhausting clawing, Treat Alert© gives its wearer a safe and easy way to get the assistance they need... quickly.

Treat Alert©
Available online exclusively from MeeshCO... where dogs rule.

New HULA Member: Rocco!

I have fallen a bit behind on processing new HULA applications because of the snow... I'm sure all of woo will understand the delay.  Plus, don't forget, I have an inept Human Woman... that pretty much says it all.

Anywoo, somehow this little gem of an application got missed while processing others, and I want to give this pup some extra credit for making a tidy, concise HULA application via the interwebs on their blog.  For future HULA members, if you have a blog, please feel free to do your application there and send me the link, I'm fine with that, as it takes less work and we all know how I'm all about the less work (see part about inept Human Woman).

Now, onto a well deserved new HULA member: Rocco.

I am especially enamored by the taking over of the interwebs part... so Rocco will take a place in the covert interwebs takeover (which humans typically call "hackers", our HULA interwebs takeover branch is called "Horkers") to slowly take over the world for husky-kind.

Congratulations Rocco, and welcome to the HULA Hoop.  Please have your human contact my human woman at: meeshkaworld@gmail.com for your certificate (suitable for framing or snacking).

Meeshka

New HULA member: Pippa

Although now retired, in his day Pippa was a valued undercover operative to the HULA cause.

Since Pippa is now retired, its ok to reveal his wonderful deeds to the cause of global Siberian Husky world domination.

Pippa started his mission by finding two humans to take him in, and from there... all chaos ensued as Pippa dove into his undercover mission to drive his humans insane without their knowledge.

Pippa has been instrumental in uncovering the master cat plan of world domination and doing whatever necessary to thwart their mission.

Still striving for perfection even in retirement, Pippa still manages to get his toast, steal the couch, and demand things from his humans to keep them on their toes by looking at them with his sad eyes and melting their resolve until they give in to his every whim.

Yes, they dress him up in a silly raincoat, and yes he's modified their behaviors, driven them insane, and loved to rip up papers and stuffs in his heyday, so in his own quiet cover way, Pippa has oozed with HULA qualifications through the years with very little recognition (as all covert operatives must do until retirement).

For this, we thank him with a hearty woo of a job well done.

Meeshka

Happy Barf Day To Me

I had such high hopes for a fantastic birthday today.  I'm 10 years old, and as the Queen of the World, I think I deserve a dignified, treat laden, festive day to mark my 10 year anniversary as Queen of the World.

I woke the human woman up at the reasonable hour of 4:45am this morning, and because it was my birthday, she was actually very nice about letting the Mutatoe and I out, and promptly fixed us our breakfast without complaining!  Off to a wonderful start on my special day.  She even gave me extra cheese sprinkles before stumbling back to bed.

As usual, I jumped up and sat on her head for a bit.  The human woman is a prime candidate for spontaneous human combustion, so when she started heating up I left my head position to lounge on my very cushy bed next to the human woman's side, and of course the suck up Mama's dog Mutatoe nabbed my head spot.

I was dreaming of livergreat and all of the wonderful treats I would be getting throughout the day to celebrate my special day when I heard the unmistakable sound of pre-horka from above.  Without warning, splat!

Yep, the Mutatoe threw up on me!

Granted, I was hoping for a hot meal for dinner, I didn't expect pre-chewed  Mutatoe leftovers.

The human woman jumped up quickly and began to clean up the mess... without realizing that I had been the target of the spew.  I stood there... waiting.  Then I stomped my delicate little feety feet and rubbed against her and that certainly got her attention.  She cleaned me up and apologized (even though she wasn't the one that tossed their breakfast on me), and tried to comfort me, but I was inconsolable... who wouldn't be?

To make up for it, the Human Woman brought home LIVERGREAT!!!! Yessssssss!  She's been all attentive and nice to me, even after I claw her, so I guess it was worth the inconvenience... plus its much quieter since I buried the Mutatoe in the yard head first*.

*Please note: no Mutatoes were buried in the yard or harmed in the making of this blog post.

Happy Woo Year

Just wanted to stop by and wish all of my royal subjects a very Happy Woo Year. 
 

 

May your Woo Year be filled with love and livergreat!

Meeshka

New HULA Members: Yuri, Sheba (and Cami)

Dear Meeshka,

I am sending an application for HULA membership on behalf of myself, Sheba and our sister Cami who is waiting for us on the other side of the Bridge. I think you will see that we have demonstrated our superiority over our humans during the past 13 years and have them tightly wrapped around our paws.

We have concluded our application with an awesome true story about something Sheba did that made the Hu-Mom freak out in a big way.

Aaarrrroooooos,

~Yuri


Demonstrating disruptive behavior:
--Yuri has the best Death Scream ever; he makes great use of it at the vet’s office!

–We clear the house if fed the Prairie flavor of Taste of the Wild! Dog aromatherapy!
--Getting the humans up in the middle of the night. We’re Senior Sibes; who can blame us?

Causing humans to freak out:
--Sometimes we hide in the yard and they panic thinking we have escaped. BOL.
--Yuri brought a dead squirrel into the house and dropped it at the Hu-Mom’s feet. A gift!
--Another time, Yuri brought a live bird into the house and put it into his crate. Again, what is up with the Hu-Mom?? She can’t appreciate anything!
--Remember the tainted dog food scare? That’s when we got put on Innova then Candidae and now Taste of the Wild, Salmon flavor.
--We gave the kennel staff a start when we escaped an outdoor run to request a return to indoor accommodations. Sheesh, it’s so hard to find good help these days! (Don’t worry, we had no way of escaping to the Outside World.)

Destroying something:
--Solar lights in the yard. You’d think the Staff would have seen that one coming!
--Mattress pad and sheet on the Staff bed
--Various dog beds and bedding
--Table leg
--Sofa cushions
--We love to destroy those flimsy PetSmart tennis balls, but refuse to play with the ball that even the lawn mower can’t touch. (The Hu-Mom wants us to tell you that she would never give us one of those tennis balls with out direct supervision.)

Human behavior modification:
--We’ve completely changed the way the humans live. When they buy a vehicle, they look for one that can hold crates and transport us safely. They have bought two houses that had to accommodate all of our needs.
--Cami was best Squeaker Killer - and to go with it, she had an awesome “that was my precious baby; please buy me another to promptly destroy” facial expression!
--When we moved, they naively thought that since we were older that we wouldn’t need a cattle wire around the base of the six-foot privacy fence. That didn’t last long! HAHAHA!
--We have been working on door training with pretty good success. Typically one bark is enough to get the door open for us.

--The humans are addicted to plucking our fluff and kissing our snooters. Not a bad trade-off for hand-and-paw service.
--Can we talk about the continual disturbance with the flashy beast? Next to plucking our fluff and kissing our snooters, the other thing the Staff can’t get enough of is taking our pictures. They leave the camera handy to capture all of our cuteness; no wonder they can’t get anything else done!

Humans dress you up:

Thankfully, the Staff have refrained from dressing us up. The closest example we have is that one time the Staff put an insulting bright pink harness on Cami and were dumb enough to leave it on her. The old girl chewed her way out of that thing in record time.

Love of Kleenex and all things paper. (Yuri’s speciality☺
--Dollar bills
--Paper towels
--Toilet paper rolls
--Kleenex
--Various paper wrappers
--Receipts and papers in the shred basket. (C’mon, the Staff wanted them shredded!)
--Toilet paper
--Items out of the recycle box


This story is true, we swear. We’ve let the Hu-Mom tell it from her point of view.:

One day in the summer of 1998 (when Yuri and Sheba were about 8 months old), a friend asked me if I’d like to go with her to the Humane Society over lunch. I am happy to enable anyone looking for a new dog, so was glad to make the trip. We played with some dogs, washed our hands, and were walking down a corridor to the exit, when my friend indicated a door to her right.

“There you go, Janet; there’s a Husky for you.” I looked in the window. And looked again. In the crate closest to the door, there was indeed a Husky. A black and white Husky with an open mask and a dot like a thumbprint on her forehead. I stared.

“That looks like Sheba!! That looks like my dog!!”

But it COULDN’T be Sheba! I had left Yuri and Sheba at home a couple of hours ago. Charlie would have gotten home from work shortly after that. “But that looks like Sheba!!!”

My friend did not believe that I was looking at my own dog, but recommended that I ask for assistance at the front desk.

“You have a Husky; I would like to see it!” The woman patiently explained that the shelter policy would not allow me to just visit the dog. I would have to file a lost dog report.

“But my dog isn’t lost; I left her at home just this morning!” Anyway, I proceeded to give the woman the information: eight-month old black-and-white Siberian Husky, blue eyes, female, spayed, wearing a green collar and tags. The woman silently completed her form and then turned back to me holding up Sheba’s collar.

“THAT’S SHEBA!! THAT’S MY DOG!!”

A more-experienced Siberian owner would have immediately understood exactly what happened. Sheba escaped her fenced yard just that morning and a compassionate neighbor called Animal Control. It took a moment for me to grasp what had occurred.

At eight-months old, Yuri and Sheba were just beginning to teach us the meaning of Hairy Houdini. It was not surprising that Sheba would escape; the amazing part was that I would just happen to visit the Humane Society shortly after she was brought in!

 

(Seriously?  Look at these innocent faces!)

Sheba was none the worse for her adventure and seemed glad to see her Hu-Mom. Having made plans to pay bail and retrieve Sheba after work, my friend and I prepared to return to our office.

“UH-OH! WHERE IS YURI??” He wasn’t with Sheba; had he also escaped? We swung by my house to find Yuri wailing at his misfortune--whether it was that his sister had left him or that he hadn’t figured out how to follow her under the fence, I’m not sure. Charlie was sound asleep and had missed all of the excitement and the phone call from Animal Control.

Subsequently, we had a cattle wire installed along the base of our six-foot privacy fence. Yuri and Sheba are now 13, but we know if we ever let down our guard or that wire, they will again look for adventure on the other side.

Congratulations and welcome to HULA
- Meeshka

New HULA Members: The Thundering Herd

Yes, my pupfriends, its time to shine the HULA spotlight on the Thundering Herd!

I've received numerous excuses from the Thundering Herd's human man about not having the time to properly document the chaos and mayhem caused by the Herd, blah, blah, excuse, excuse, wah wah wah!  This only goes to show what exemplary HULA members the Herd is: keeping their Human Man from functioning properly in civilization.  I bet he can't even put his clothes in the spinny thing and make them smell like fake flowers and junk because he's always cleaning up after the Herd and their antics... BRAVO Herd!

Now, I don't want all of you to think that I'll just go and nominate HULA members on my own and do all of the research necessary to weed out your qualifications.  I'm much too busy for that (currently I'm gathering small bits of snow that are falling that was suppose to be a snowmageddon but got canceled because weather people are morons and need to be clawed.

Anyhoo, this is a once in a lifetime HULA nomination, because I need the Herd to concentrate on their operations to drive their humans insane (and they are close to being finished apparently).

HULA Qualifications
1. Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior
There's nothing better than having a bunch of you "act up" while on a peaceful walk with one human man... The Herd has perfected the whole "oh sure, we're well mannered huskies that obey your every command until we get you alone out in the middle of nowhere and then watch out" tactic.  This is only matched with the "wait until we get out in public and embarrass you" tactic.  You can also insist upon walking in between the Human Man's legs, like Rusty here.

2. Cause Humans to freak out for no real reason
Was accomplished on Christmas Eve by Queen Natasha, who ate something that didn't agree with her (probably a nice book) and was rushed to the puppy ER for treatment.  We are pleased to announce that she's back home giggling, and want to send a word of caution to other HULA wannabees: don't hurt yourself in your attempts to freak out your humans... but a vet run or two for non-serious things is not only fun, but expensive!

3. Destroy Something
Using the "eat an entire loaf of bread" as a diversionary tactic to destroy other things is the best way to accomplish maximum destruction.  Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam totally approves of the consumption of bread products in this carefully coordinated sneak attack.  We also approve of stealing money.

4. Human behavior modification:
Making the humans erect barriers around the things they want to keep whole and then inconveniencing themselves in the process is a great trick.  What makes it even better is getting yourself into predicaments where the humans have to come to your rescue, or at the very least see why you are screaming at the top of your lungs as if scalded weasels were eating your eyes.  The only better maneuver is to completely defeat their attempts at blocking you, and giving them the finger.

5. Humans dress you up
I have found no evidence that the Human Man dresses up the Thundering Herd... probably because he knows better.  I approve.

6. Love of Kleenex
Although I'm sure there have been incidences of kleenex addiction, the Herd has mastered the "shredding of important paperwork" missions with style and pizazz, therefore I'll cut them some slack on no pictures or evidence of rolls of toilet paper snow throughout the household.

Welcome to the HULA Hoop:

Natasha
Rusty
Kiska
Kodiak
Qannik
Cheoah

Meeshka