Thursday, November 02, 2006

Its Worse Than I Thought!

All right everyhusky, including the honorary dachsie huskies, the doglet husky, and the Copper husky, and yes, yes Holly, you are northern breed, so you are HULA (hear you woo), and I will be an honorary pirate... if I don't have to wear a headband. Its bad enough having the human woman trying to dress me.

Its very clear that there are a lot of you that are either training your humans wrong, or you've gotten greedy and lazy humans. I hear its very hard to trade in humans (unless you are a rich rock star and can just pick them up on vacation), so we'll have to work on some training techniques for these slow learning humans you have.

Lesson #1: Never let them eat in peace. Sure, you aren't allowed to steal the food right off their plates (unless there is more than one of you, then you can use the distract by screaming in pain while the other swoops in for the steal), but you must make yourself glue to them as they eat. Stare at them with starving, pathetic eyes. Make your stomach gurgle. Horka at meal time. Go for the guilt!

Lesson #2: lay with your head in the empty food bowl. Look up once in a while and whine. Perhaps lick the empty bowl and sigh really hard.

Lesson #3: poop in their bed (just because its fun)

Ok, lets get out there and start being pathetic. Practice your stomach growling, lick those empty bowls, and if all else fails... jump on them like a trampoline early in the morning. If anything, they'll be bruised, dazed, half asleep and will do anything to get you to stop that!

Meeshka
(goooo TEAM HULA!)

8 comments:

Holly said...

Thank you so much Meeshka, for letting me be a member of HULA! I promise to make you proud.

My Sibe step-brother Samuel has been trying to train me on the Husky technique. He must have been reading your mind tonight, cuz he was doing the the pathetic look, claw, serious whining, wooing, barking, thing at mom tonight for his dinner (dad didn't feed us this morning). He finally irritated her so much she got up and made his dinner. I do very well going around trying to eat the plastic food bowls our food comes in (especially when they leave them lying around on the floor) and carrying them around so mom gets the hint. We're doing a good job working on them, but will try to double our work! Thanks for the pointers!

Hollybollyboo

Dachsies Rule said...

We are going to work on Mom by using your pointers. We want to be worthy dachsie huskies ... as long as we don't have to be in the cold weather. We don't have fluffiness to keep us warm - and don't even *think* about putting one of those sweaters on us!

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

Ender said...

Um, I think I missed something...and now I feel silly for asking, but what is HULA. I mean, is it the dance they do in Hawaii? Should I know what this is? Anyhow, maybe I should take your lessons to heart, my humans won't know what hit them!!

Poseidon said...

You other dogs are so lucky, I don't get anything but dog food in my bowl! It's so unfair! They won't even let me be in their face when they're eating, I have to go lay down on the other side of the room! And what's worse, if I try the pathetic whine and stare and sit practically in their lap thing even when they tell me to "go" then I get locked in another room until they're finished! I woo and woo and it doesn't work! I should try clawing them once in a while, I bet they'd learn then!

Quinn said...

If you need visual aids, look at the Huskies Behaving Badly gallery and the Weird Things Huskies Do gallery here

Some of my handiwork is featured.

Kelsey and Smokey said...

Well, I've found that if I claw at my humes while they eat and then put my head on their lap and drool all over their pants and look really pathetic, it sometimes works.

The empty food bowl thing works really well too. I do it about 8 times a day. I lick it really hard too so that it makes noise so they know I'm licking it. Then sometimes, I lie down under it (it's one of those elevated ones) and stand up abruptly so that the water comes a flyin' out all over the place too! They hate when I do that!

Keep on trainin them out there!

Kel

JustMeCopper said...

Today when I was lyig next to my Mom and it was real quiet, I tried the growling stomach trick. It WORKED and I got my dinner early! Thanks for making me an honorary Huskie!

Anonymous said...

Dakota managed to get us a bone during a thunderstorm last night. She acted scared and tried repeatedly to climb on the kitchen table. Eventually we got a bone to chew on! She sat calmly on the floor and chewed her bone, then started acting crazy again as soon as she was finished!