Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Preparation to be Queen of Everything

Being Queen of everything takes a lot of preparation and thought.

First of all, I've learned from watching tv that the human politicians always talk about having a solid platform to stand on. I think that's very wise, because it would be very embarrassing to have a shaky, bad platform to stand on in front of everyone, and then fall off of it, or have it collapse and then everyone would laugh at you. This would not bode well for a Queen.

I decided to find myself a solid platform, and since I'm pretty much confined to the house and yard, I'm very limited in my platform decision.

First of all, the piece of wood in the yard is a nice platform, but its not very high off the ground. Any husky can get on that platform, which doesn't seem very good to me. I think a platform should be a bit higher than all the riff raff so that I can look at my royal subjects below and be very fluffy and powerful looking. I want them to look up at me and say "look at how fluffy and powerful she is". That's queen material!

I next thought that the deck would be a great platform, but the pickets on the railing are much too narrow for me to stick my head out and gaze at all of my royal subjects below. Its very hard to look fluffy and powerful when only your nose is showing. Although I have a very nice nose, its not very fluffy or powerful looking when poking out between two pickets. I also have to contend with that stupid gate at the bottom that defies all husky logic to open (damn those humans).

This led me inside to the couch, or what is left of the couch. As you may recall we had a whole couch with ample room for all three of us to sprawl on, leaving no room for the humans. For some odd reason the humans tore the couch in two and put one silly half section upstairs which isn't fit for one husky, and the other section is still downstairs, but blocked off from us sitting on it, which defeats the entire purpose of having a couch that literally sucks up our fur.

I stood on this little section of couch and the gimpy Mutatoe jumped up with me, butt bumped me, I lost my balance and was forced to slam his head into the floor. This caused the human woman to yell at me, therefore the little section of couch is not adequate or awe inspiring enough for my platform.

I must think "HIGHER". I need a nice, high, solid platform from which I can look down upon my minions and be their Queen. I thought I found the perfect spot:

Although much higher than the other platforms I had chosen, this spot has a distinctly squishy feel to it, and it squirms too much. Its very distracting when I'm trying to woo my speech to the masses while my platform is gacking and sputtering and moving around.

I'll have to look around some more and let you know what else I find for my platform.

(is there a mute button on the human woman?)


  1. You have some very good ideas on queendom....I'm taking notes....could you visit my blog and give me some ideas on the revolt incident I posted about yesterday? Thanks!

    Woo woo, Kelsey Ann

  2. No, that doesn't look like it will work. How about a table or counter?

  3. Anonymous10:46 PM

    Nothing less than a throne will do for a Queen!!

  4. Squishy, sputtering and gacking will not work for a Queen with your stature!

    What about the kitchen/dining room table? You could use one of the chairs to help you get up on it.


  5. I dunno how long your hooman woman back can last..you would be better off looking for another more reliable alternative!

  6. Wooo-hooo,
    you have my hu-mom ROTFLOL with your cartoon, Meeshka!
    Yes, you need a better platform to stand on... Although I have to say that you are very fluffy and very powerful looking just on standing on your own 4 paws, Queen Meeshka!

  7. Having a physical platform would limit your exposure. Your loyal subjects mostly follow you via cyberspace. So perhaps you should consider 'platform' as a figurative term.

  8. Wow, Copper, you're way too deep for us (and you use big words, too).
    Your highness, some suggestions...Cracker found that he could stand on all 4 feet on the kitchen floor, and somehow magically levitate himself to all 4 feet on top of the counter in a split second, surely our queen has some magic powers of her own?
    Personally, I like to clear everything off the top of the human's coffee table, then stand right in front of them when they try to watch the talking box. Chili's preferred platform is to jump on top of the washer or dryer and look out the window when the humans have us confined in our laundry/jail cell.
    Mikki doesn't have any suggestions, she's the only one of us that prefers keeping all 4 feet on the ground or on a nice comfy couch, although we did make the humans take the broken hot tub out of our sunroom and turn it upside down in the backyard (who needs a hot tub in Florida anywhooo? stupid humans...) We told mom she could use it to make us a water feature in our yard, but she said since we love to dig so much, we should dig the hole, we're still working on it. In the meantime, the upside down hot tub is a great platform, and we all take turns playing king (or queen) of the hill. Hope some of these ideas may help!
    Sorry our comment is so long, but we thought the hot tub needed some extra explanation....
    Bama & the RHP
    When mom read us your post, she was making those funny hahaheehee noises forever, now she says her stomach hurts.

  9. I like to stand on my Human. It makes her mad and it makes me glad!

  10. Wow. Choosing a platform is a big decision. I am sure you will find the right place soon.