New HULA Member: Malkin

Wooos Meeshka. It's Malkin from Sibernet. I'd like to apply for
membership in HULA. Here's why...

1.“Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior” : my first true such exploit took place in obedience class when I was 12 weeks old. We were supposed to be learning to walk in a figure 8 pattern in heel position (::scoffs::), but I decided to run off, attack the agility
weave poles, tear them out of the ground (like I knew they were all connected!) and chase the 9 month old Newfoundland around the yard with them. This got all of the other dogs to chase me and mass chaos
ensued. They had to end the class early because the dumber puppies couldn’t concentrate after that. I, of course, was all focused and ready to keep learning once I was certain class was over.

2. “Cause Humans to Freak Out for no Real Reason” : Paikea and I got into my mom’s backpack and ripped open a new bottle of Excedrin Migraine. Moms couldn’t find 20 pills (after tearing the room apart and counting the remainders at least half a dozen times), so it was off to the VetER. We were given stuff to make us puke our guts out (I puked on Pai’s head, so she had to have a bath on top of it, hehehehe). A few biped panic attacks and $1000 later, we were home again and in the clear...and mom found 19 of the pills under the bed, so we didn’t really need to go anyway. They were NOT happy.

3. “Destroy Something” : hmmmm, what to choose for this one? So many
options! How about destroying mom Kelly’s futon/bed in under 40 minutes? I’ll send a pic of that one.

4. “Human Behavior Modification” : are we talking chronic or acute?
Chronic: mom Raven used to spend lots of money on designer shoes, now
she spends it on arctic clothing and mushing gear.

5. “Humans Dress You Up” : I’m a bit concerned about this one, as I would never allow a full costume to be shoved on me without eating it. But I do like to wear my Adopt-a-Husky Inc Husky Hike Finisher
medallion (complete with shiny purple ribbon), and I occasionally suffer a bandana at work in the hospital. But that’s it!!

6. “Love of Kleenex” : I adore Kleenex! Used ones, clean ones, whole unopened boxes, you name it. It’s just such fun to shred! I especially like to open the bathroom cupboard, take out a fresh box, carry it to some ridiculous place (i.e., the closet in the guest room) and then shred it with unbridled glee. Of course, I always ensure that by the time the bipeds find it, I'm sitting down nicely somewhere else and looking stoically angelic.

Your ally in world domination,
Malkin

(Welcome to the HULA Hoop Malkin - Meeshka)