New HULA Member: Bama, Chili, Mikki, Cracker

This is my application for our entire pack to be accepted as members of the HULA Hoop.

1.) Demonstrating disruptive behaviour:
Cracker's was probably the best, he figured out that he could jump the 6 foot privacy fence around the backyard, and 1 week before last Christmas, he ran over a mile to the Walgreens to pick out his own presents. I'll have to tell you the whole story sometime, but mom & dad searched frantically all day, and finally found him late that evening. Now none of us are allowed out without human supervision constantly, and if we get out of sight for one second they are frantically calling and searching for us.
My favorite is to bite mom or dad's nose at 5:30 AM to tell them I want OUT, and to attack mom's feet and ankles when she's wearing her fuzzy flip flop things on her feet.
Mikki's favorite is to pretend she doesn't hear them when they tell her it's time to come in the house, even if it's 100 degrees with 100% humidity, she'll sit in the yard staring at the sky and acting like she's deaf as a stone, rather than come into the nice cool house, just to prove she doesn't have to listen to them if she doesn't feel like it. She also stole a whole turkey breast off the counter a couple of weeks ago, but I'm glad mom caught her before she ate it all, that was all of our dinner cooling!
Chili's really good at blocking the humans for us, while we get into trouble, his fluffiness can really fill a space, and he's great at pretending he doesn't know what they want when they tell him to "move" so they can get to the rest of us.

2.)Cause Humans to Freak out for no real reason:
I guess Mikki is best at this, one of the neighbors put out rat poison a while back, and Mikki is great at catching sick rats. The first one was on a weekend, so mom called the emergency vet and they told her to give her a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide for each 10 lbs of body weight, then continue giving her 1/2 doses every 15 minutes until she sicked it up. That worked, and they got rid of the rat, but about a week later she caught another one. Since she knew they wouldn't let her have it, she made them chase her all around the yard, then she swallowed it whole before she would agree to come in the house. Out came the peroxide, but she is one stubborn husky, she refused to puke it back up. Finally after an hour & 5 doses, dad packed her off to the vet and they gave her something that forced her to give up her tasty rat.
Mom has a windchime thingy in our bedroom to drown out street noise, it's made out of capice shells, and last weekend I grabbed one of the shells off the bottom and crunched it up good before mom got it away from me, that freaked her out good, but it wasn't much fun having her stick her fingers halfway down my throat to make sure she got all the little pieces before I swallowed any. Chili managed to get into our grandboy's bedroom after Valentines day, and destroy the heart box full of chocolates, but he didn't get to taste any of the tasty candy before mom caught him.
Cracker doesn't usually freak them out, except when he takes it into his head to try to jump the fence, then it's total scramble to catch him and bring him back before he can get too far.

3.) Destroy something:
In my short time here, I've managed to destuff every one of mom's "decorative" pillows in the living room, chew the swan head off her hand carved chaise lounge at the foot of our bed, and by covert shopping trips into moms closet I've managed to destroy 1 of each of 4 pairs of shoes! Mikki also likes shoes, but what girl doesn't, whoohoo? Chili destroyed a comfy sheepskin rug when he was a puppy, as well as 2 of mom's Kachina dolls, and both he and Cracker should be very well educated from all the books they've devoured.

4.)Human behaviour modification:
where to start? After the petfood scare, Chili got a case of the poop soups, he was really miserable for about a day, before they took him to the doc. Mom had checked and knew that none of our food was on the list, but the doc put him on egg, rice and chicken dinners until it cleared up, and that gave mom & dad the idea that if they cooked every meal themselves they wouldn't have to worry about what we were getting. They used to cook for us once or twice a week, but now we get a homemade dinner mixed with our kibbles every night. Our recipe includes a veggie, an egg, some cheese, rice, and either chicken or turkey. We also insist on scrambled eggs & bacon for Sunday breakfast after the humans have theirs. I'm not sure we can take credit for this, but on the other paw, if we weren't so cute and loveable they might have just switched brands or something...Our favorite though is a pack effort. One of us will ask to go out, and of course we all go out together, but only the one who asked will potty while we're out. About 15 minutes after we all come back in, (only if we're bribed with tasty treats), the next one will ask to go out, and off we all go again. We can keep this up for a couple of hours until mom finally says "no, you've been out enough". Then I, being the youngest and having the smallest bladder, will start sniffing, or act like I'm going to squat, and she rushes me out, the others follow, and the whole thing starts again. We're aiming for 100 trips outside in one day, so far we've only gotten it up to about 30 or so though.

5.) Humans dress you up:
Never! No WAY! What could be more beautiful than our natural fur coats, are you kidding? Actually Chili trained them very early not to even try, he's such a nudist, he wont even wear a collar unless we're going for a ride or walk, and refuses to let any of the rest of us wear one either. He is Houdini when it comes to destroying a collar or harness, and can chew through it in about 2 minutes, without ever making the little tags thingies jingle. As soon as he is in all his naked glory, he starts stripping the rest of us. Mom has yet to find one that he can't chew through, except a choke chain, and she says she won't take the chance that we might get caught on something and hurt ourselves, so we get to run around naked almost all the time, although we did all have to have a little microchip shot under our skin in case we ever get loose.

6.) Love of Kleenex:
AND paper towels, AND toilet paper, AND the rolls they come on, AND books, AND magazines, AND any other paper we can find. All of us, every chance we get.

Congratulations little Bama, welcome to you and your whole crew to the HULA Hoop. That’s quite a lot you’ve accomplished in your young years.

Meeshka